LittleDudesMom
Well-Known Member
Lisa,
I'm so very sorry. I will offer prayers of comfort for the family.
Sharon
I'm so very sorry. I will offer prayers of comfort for the family.
Sharon
My Famiy........
- Thread starter Hound dog
- Start date
Mattsmom277
Active Member
You've been heavily on my mind today. Even my S/O came home after work and asked if you had posted and I update him on what you had written. Know that you have warm thoughts and caring prayers being said for you. Your easy child indeed is a wise young woman, take care of YOU. I am very glad to hear that some members will be spending the weekend with you. We're here for you. (((hugs))) xo M.
everywoman
Well-Known Member
A hug my friend.
Hound dog
Nana's are Beautiful
The nights are evidently going to be the hardest.
I did pretty darn well today.......until after I got off the phone with my family a while ago. That is a little difficult. My mom only decided she liked husband a couple of years ago, and it's been the last year or so she decided he was her favorite sister in law. Unfortunately......due to the fact she spent most of our married life basically hating the man, what she passed on to other family was colored by that. I'll just say they don't have the best impression of him.
My sister called tonight. husband has never been her favorite person. But we talked a long time. This shook her up. Not only because of me, but because her husband is the same age and she believes that if he doesn't stop burning the candle at both ends soon she'll suddenly find herself in the same situation. But she's the one who helped Mom after my step dad passed, so she had a lot of good advice ect. She is planning to come up as soon as she can, but is having to rearrange her schedule and find a fill in sitter for her grandkids. But it will be a few weeks.
Other than the piddle type cleaning, which wasn't much today, it was basically sorting through tons of paperwork. husband was a packrat, literally. A packrat who kept really horrid records by the way. I discovered I apparently owe taxes, city taxes, as does Travis. We're not sure if it's for just this year or last year as well. It's not horrible, but it's not great either when you don't have much to begin with. And it makes me mad that he never took care of it. Received the notification for the house payment in the mail today. He only skipped August because the money wasn't there to pay it. Found the house insurance policy......Found a whole lot of bills we've not been able to pay, which amazed easy child........as I tried to explain to her that you can pay when there is nothing to pay with. And unfortunately there still won't be any to pay it with.
easy child's husband tuned up my car and got the oil changed. 80.00 isn't bad for an 11 yr old car. They knew it needed it and were worried about me driving it and it suddenly konking out on me.
easy child spoke with the cemetery and a plot near husband's parents is available. We're going up in the morning to see just how close "close" is.
easy child spoke with husband's sister in law and his brother is taking this very very hard. She's not sure he can travel at this point. And easy child told her what I told her to tell her that if he wants to be here for the memorial we will wait for him, no matter how long, so to not make any rash decisions he may later regret.
If one more collector calls and asks for husband..........well, let's just say it's traumatic. And normally I don't pick up on calls when I don't recognize the number or the name isn't familiar. But now I have calls coming in from family......and I don't always know the numbers ect so......well, yeah. They've caught me a few times.
But it's at night when the memories flood me. I can't seem to get them to shut off. I've taken an OTC sleeping pill so hopefully it will help some tonight. If not, I may make a doctor appointment and see able getting something stronger. All of this is hard enough, there is no way I can deal with it on no sleep.
Thank you all for being here. I've no one else to just ramble on to........the kids are dealing with enough already.
I did pretty darn well today.......until after I got off the phone with my family a while ago. That is a little difficult. My mom only decided she liked husband a couple of years ago, and it's been the last year or so she decided he was her favorite sister in law. Unfortunately......due to the fact she spent most of our married life basically hating the man, what she passed on to other family was colored by that. I'll just say they don't have the best impression of him.
My sister called tonight. husband has never been her favorite person. But we talked a long time. This shook her up. Not only because of me, but because her husband is the same age and she believes that if he doesn't stop burning the candle at both ends soon she'll suddenly find herself in the same situation. But she's the one who helped Mom after my step dad passed, so she had a lot of good advice ect. She is planning to come up as soon as she can, but is having to rearrange her schedule and find a fill in sitter for her grandkids. But it will be a few weeks.
Other than the piddle type cleaning, which wasn't much today, it was basically sorting through tons of paperwork. husband was a packrat, literally. A packrat who kept really horrid records by the way. I discovered I apparently owe taxes, city taxes, as does Travis. We're not sure if it's for just this year or last year as well. It's not horrible, but it's not great either when you don't have much to begin with. And it makes me mad that he never took care of it. Received the notification for the house payment in the mail today. He only skipped August because the money wasn't there to pay it. Found the house insurance policy......Found a whole lot of bills we've not been able to pay, which amazed easy child........as I tried to explain to her that you can pay when there is nothing to pay with. And unfortunately there still won't be any to pay it with.
easy child's husband tuned up my car and got the oil changed. 80.00 isn't bad for an 11 yr old car. They knew it needed it and were worried about me driving it and it suddenly konking out on me.
easy child spoke with the cemetery and a plot near husband's parents is available. We're going up in the morning to see just how close "close" is.
easy child spoke with husband's sister in law and his brother is taking this very very hard. She's not sure he can travel at this point. And easy child told her what I told her to tell her that if he wants to be here for the memorial we will wait for him, no matter how long, so to not make any rash decisions he may later regret.
If one more collector calls and asks for husband..........well, let's just say it's traumatic. And normally I don't pick up on calls when I don't recognize the number or the name isn't familiar. But now I have calls coming in from family......and I don't always know the numbers ect so......well, yeah. They've caught me a few times.
But it's at night when the memories flood me. I can't seem to get them to shut off. I've taken an OTC sleeping pill so hopefully it will help some tonight. If not, I may make a doctor appointment and see able getting something stronger. All of this is hard enough, there is no way I can deal with it on no sleep.
Thank you all for being here. I've no one else to just ramble on to........the kids are dealing with enough already.
L
Liahona
Guest
Maybe it would help all of you to talk. They might be going through some of the same emotions. Just something I've heard. I hope you get some sleep tonight.
lovemysons
Well-Known Member
Lisa,
I am so so sorry for the loss of your husband.
Please know my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Hugs and love,
LMS
I am so so sorry for the loss of your husband.
Please know my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Hugs and love,
LMS
(((((hugs)))))
I am glad your family is there for you. I think that being willing to wait for husband's brother to be able to be there is about one of the most loving and generous gifts you could ever give him - even if he decides to not be there ever for it.
I know this isn't the first loss you have experienced in your life, but it is the worst/hardest. Please allow yourself to feel any/every feeling that comes up. I know it is very early for this, but please consider going to a grief support group. Even if you never talk, it can be an amazing resource that you never knew could help so much. The funeral homes here offer them for free - regardless of which one you use or when/where the person you lost lived.
Know we love you and are here for you. I am a night owl by nature and it is perfectly fine to call me anytime, day or night if you want to unload. I will pm my number - don't worry about the cost. If you need me to call you right back to save the phone bill, do NOT be upset/put off by that. Call anyway. Period. It won't cost me and won't be any problem for me. I already do it with several old friends on tighter budgets than mine.
If there is anything I can do, just ask.
I am glad your family is there for you. I think that being willing to wait for husband's brother to be able to be there is about one of the most loving and generous gifts you could ever give him - even if he decides to not be there ever for it.
I know this isn't the first loss you have experienced in your life, but it is the worst/hardest. Please allow yourself to feel any/every feeling that comes up. I know it is very early for this, but please consider going to a grief support group. Even if you never talk, it can be an amazing resource that you never knew could help so much. The funeral homes here offer them for free - regardless of which one you use or when/where the person you lost lived.
Know we love you and are here for you. I am a night owl by nature and it is perfectly fine to call me anytime, day or night if you want to unload. I will pm my number - don't worry about the cost. If you need me to call you right back to save the phone bill, do NOT be upset/put off by that. Call anyway. Period. It won't cost me and won't be any problem for me. I already do it with several old friends on tighter budgets than mine.
If there is anything I can do, just ask.
crazymama30
Active Member
Lisa, ramble away. Lord knows I do that enough here. We are here to listent to you, to hear your frustation and your worries and even your anger. Hang in there, I think this phase, the taking care of the business part of things, is the worst.
Yes, Lisa. Nights will be the worst. That is when the worries and fears creep out of the woodwork. I'm glad you're recognizing the importance of getting your rest - do whatever you have to on that front, to get through this.
Because... this will pass. But it does take time.
{{hugs}}
Because... this will pass. But it does take time.
{{hugs}}
hearts and roses
Mind Reader
{{{Lisa}}} Thinking of you every day.
S
Signorina
Guest
Lisa, I am so so sorry for your loss. I will be thinking of you {{{hugs}}}
timer lady
Queen of Hearts
Lisa, my deepest sympathies to you...your entire family. I understand the loss of a spouse all to well ~ if you need to talk please feel free to call.
Again, I'm so very sorry for your loss.
Again, I'm so very sorry for your loss.
GoingNorth
Crazy Cat Lady
Lisa, I was widowed 9 years ago. I was 42. husband was 44. I've been where you are and how hard it was to get through grief.
Grief is not something you "get over". You get through it and come out the other side as a different person.
There is no right way to grieve. It differs for every one.
If you'd like to talk, feel free to PM me your phone number and good times to call.
Meanwhile, I've been there done that and have the tshirt no one wants to prove it.
I cannot tell you how saddened I am to hear of your loss and that of your family.
Grief is not something you "get over". You get through it and come out the other side as a different person.
There is no right way to grieve. It differs for every one.
If you'd like to talk, feel free to PM me your phone number and good times to call.
Meanwhile, I've been there done that and have the tshirt no one wants to prove it.
I cannot tell you how saddened I am to hear of your loss and that of your family.
