My nephew is 5 yrs. old and I have seen a problem for the past 2 1/2 years. He screams, hits, spits, lies, breaks things (camera and computer) flushes things down the toilet (cellphones, TV remotes and my sister's wedding ring), frightens my dog, and if he doesn't feel like talking he will only grunt or scream. He and his older brother (9 years old) rarely get along. He was kicked out of 1 preschool for breaking toys. The next school told his parents to get him into counseling or he would have to leave. Now he is in kindergarten and is spending a lot of time in the principal's office for hitting and spitting. His parents have not been very proactive in monitoring his behaviour. They reward him with candy (in the morning) if he poops in the toilet. He plays for hours on the computer. His mother's idea of discipline is to put him into 2 hour time-outs (I am not exaggerating). He fits into the ODD catagory. I don't know how to help, offering help is regarded as a personal affront to my sister's parenting skills. She refuses to put him on medications. What does an Aunt do?