my pity party

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by dreamer, Dec 23, 2008.

  1. dreamer

    dreamer New Member

    I have to vent or my head might pop off.
    the lady who lives behind me has 2 large dogs, she keeps them outside. they bark their heads off every single day from 430 am till at least 9 or 10. My bedroom is on back of house, and I always have my window open for cool air. Years ago we had a next door neighbor who HATED dogs and called police if my dog so much as whimpered. Heck afttr my dog died, they still called police trying to say my dog was barking. They moved. SUddenly I miss them.

    none of our gifts are wrapped, not a one. Our tree is up, but it is not decorated. I have always made dozens upon dozens of cookies, usually 10 dozen of 20 different kinds at least. this year, for first time ever, we have none at all. While the temp is today finally not below zero even before you factor in wind is once again snowing very very hard. On top of the over 2 feet already on my yard. I think we are getting another 10 innches. we do not have a snowblower, I finally saved for one a couple years ago and my very non mechanical husband broke it the very first time we used it. NOONE helps shovel here. Last week one day I shoveled 9 hours straight.
    then the kids and husband came outside to ask me what was for dinner. when was I gonna come make it.

    Last nite, my son asked if his fiend could sleep over. turns out it was not just his friend, but his VERY hyperactive much younger brother came, too. then easy child of course had her boyfriend here.....he had been wrking a lot of hours and we had seen little of him ......and then difficult children boyfriend came over. the boys at 9 pm decided they wanted to go to movie rental store in next town. To my shock, my husband said he would take them! Then difficult child decided she wanted to ride with, she got a giftcard to a clothing store from same uncle son got his movie rental giftcard she comandeered the transportation, demanded front seat and control of radio over husband and the 3 boys......they left and I was glad cuz I am sick....and since I am sick cannot take my shots...and becuz of that and the weather, my RA is flareing .......the quiet sounded divine.
    Earlier i the day I had bought special donuts, only one dozen.....last week we had been at a food distribution becuz social security and VA messed up our checks since THAT happened is beyond me, we have been getting both for nearly 20 years.......but we are waiting for it to get straightened out (a very partial check came this weeek) so there we weer at a food bank distribution. SO the dozen donuts sounds s imple enough, but were quite a hit to our food budget of late. A veyr special treat.....I had NO ide aour house would be so full of hungry teens. I also bought a case of special hard to find soda pop for the holiday. (Pomagranate 7-up)
    The kids all came with appetites, told us they had not eaten all day and hit our fridge. In less than an hour they devoured a box of corn dogs, a whole pie, a whole gallon of milk, the donuts, most of the case of pp -a frozen lasagna.and then asked what I was makeing for dinner? (they love my cooking even if my own kids seldom eat much)
    SO yes, in spite of the hour, I was glad to send them out.
    They were gone maybe an hour, and the phone rang. It was them from the next town asking what in the wordld happened at OUR house? I was like huh? Me and easy child and her boyfriend were in kitchen. The kids out in next town with husband said mom, ppl are calling saying our house is surrounded by police firetrucks and ambulances, they want to know whats going on?
    I went to front door and lo and behold........yup----emergency vehiceles all over my front yard, my driveway, my whole block, several. I live in a small subdivision in town....on a street that goes nowhere...with a 20 MPH speed limit. the end of my street is a few doors down and then my street stops and becomes a footbridge over a tiny creek leading to the back yard of our 3 schools, (preschool, elem and middle school)
    I strained to see out front and my husband had just parked MY VW BUG in front of our house and it was now in the middle of all the emergency behicles nd emergency lights flashing to a blninding degree. Then we could hear screaming and moaning. husband moved my bug cuz he took the jeep with the kids to the next town cuz nothing is plowed and my bug has not been able to clear the snow with its undercarriage.
    so my front yard is only 20 ft deep from road, so we ran out front to try to figure out what was going on.
    a multi car car accident. we never have multiple cars ON our road! An SUV a sports car looked like both going north.......hit......and flew.......brushed my bug.....and then flew airborne into the jerks across the street from me driveway and hit their 3 cars parked there. (the house across the street has become a rental in last 3 years and has been inhabited by a gang per ur monthly meetings in town with police dept) several people were hurt and taken by ambulance to hospital. Surreal.
    That was not the end.
    Of course our town is small, word spread as people were going home and saw the lights on our street, and people worried, was easy child and baby to be ok? Was my husband OK? Had difficult child gone off bad? Had something happened to me? My kids friends were all calling. Then they were not reassured enough by calling and they began to come over.
    husband got back with the kids and they could not get onto our street. MY driveway was the triage and, my driveway is just barely 2 car lengths long, we put the jeep and bug touching to fit them and we park them door to door cuz technically my driveway is single car wide. the durango barely fits.
    the police moved the cars involved in accident away from the immediate area to get ambulance access to victims.
    Eventually police etc began to leave.
    FInlly they were all gone.
    we went out front......and found, while all the people in the cars were transported to hospital, ALL the cars in accident were left behind, no tow trucks were called at all. THose cars are ALL still where they got left, all helter skelter here and there. Including on top of other cars in driveway across street.
    The entire block is still full of broken car parts, glass etc and even 2 b umpers. Just laying in our street.....Now almost 12 hors post accident.

    If police respond and all occupants of all cars are transported via ambulance, arent police supposed to tow the cars out of the road? Arent they supposed to clear the road of debris, especially large debris? I sure have no way to dispose of ...bumpers etc. I amvery confused.
    the one car is on top of another i the people across the streets driveway. As soon as I could I went and got my bug back in my driveway. It was legally parked, in a parking lane in front of my house and thank goodness the accident did not hurt my bug.

    I have no idea how bad anyone might have gotten hurt.....our speed limit is so low....our street so short, and our street was very snow covered. Unless the people IN the cars had pre existing health problems, I am not sure they could be hurt too bad. especially if they had seat belts on. none of the cars had airbags in them. I do feel so bad for the was nite, it was bitter cold, minus 10 before windchill and a gusty wind was blowing. (and now we are in a whiteout yet again, expecting another 10 inches on top of the 2-3 ft already in my yard)

    So much chaos, so much commotion.......I was running an errand yesterday at 4 pm and could not wait to get home, eat a frozen dinner (I NEVER eat frozen dinners but.I did not feel good and did not care) get in a hot bath and be in bed by 8.

    Looks like I will spend the day shoveling, and picking up debris in my street lest I hurt my cars. ANd I cannot even take my shots for my RA etc becuz I am my little flare is going to become much more than a little flare. <sigh> I never did get my frozen dinner, or my bath.....still cant becuz I now have a full house of teens.......and we have only one bathroom....I wonder if we even HAVE any food left? <sigh>
  2. Jena

    Jena New Member

    hi there's alot going on, huh..??? i'm sorry. the holidays can be so stressful they really can be for us. It sounds like you are beyond juggling at this point. Vent it out, it feels better at times to get it out of our minds and into written form. AT least for me it does.

    My only advice is what I do. I look at everything going on and i decide ok what has to be done, like imperative and what can i leave?? what's a necessity sort of thing??? I think you having a cup of tea at this point and putting your feet up for fifteen minutes is a must. must.

    I'm telling you the sky can be falling down and if i'm shot and done and totally overwhelmed my butt gets parked in my bathroom on the floor (it's my favorite spot) weird iknow, but it's where difficult child bothers me least lol. and I take a mom time out with my tea cig if necessary and my candle lit.

    Find your bathroom spot, take your time out, get those feet up and take a breather.

    I'm sending you alot of hugs and i'd make you a cup of tea if i were there. You will make it thru the day and don't worry about the cookies and all that other stuff. WE can only do what we can do.


    i'm going to share a funny dysfunctional story on WW board, go look i hope it makes you laugh.
  3. dreamer

    dreamer New Member

    yuk. I just got an email from my boss in emergency services for county. She said the roads are already incredibly bad.....not to go out....countywide. It was a mass email to all emergency people in county....
    she said she left her house, near me, drove the 2 miles thru subdivision and around corner to courthouse and wound up in a ditch. This will be the 3rd time this month they are closeing our gov center. In 20 years it had never closed previously for weather. She said it is whiteout snow with ice mixed and underneath. ANd becuz of last years record snowfall and the cost of gas all summer etc, there is no budget left for polwing or salting of the roads.
  4. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    Sorry dreamer. Those are the days when you wished you hadn't gotten out of bed. Hope today is better.
  5. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    OMG dreamer!! ((((hugs))))

    Send the teens home. They can visit another time when you're not sick. Or better yet, consider sending your son over there and catch a break yourself. Unless you truely have to go somewhere......slack off on the shoveling until you're feeling better. That snow obviously isn't going anywhere. I have horrible visions of you coming down with walking pneumonia.

    Round up the kids and put xmas carols on and enlist them in decorating the tree. It's not a difficult job and they might accidentally find it enjoyable. If they won't help, hold their presents hostage. I'm not normally that way about holidays, but you're in desperate need of some help from the rest of the family. I'd put easy child to work on the cookies while you supervise. Otherwise.....forget the cookies.

    You are sick. You are flaring. You need someone to pitch in and give you a hand. Guilt them into it if necessary. Guilt can be a powerful motivator if used correctly. lol

    Now go hang your superMom cape on a peg. Sit down and put your feet up. Wrap a snuggy blanket around you and close your eyes.

  6. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    I vote for guilting the teens into helping around the house. Ridiculous that you should be shouldering all that work by yourself, not to mention feeling sick and sore.

    Good thing your husband left before the accident! But crazy that the police did nothing to clean up the debris.

    Stay in bed today and let others take over. The world will not stop spinning if you take a break... and you'll feel so much better for it.

  7. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Why on EARTH are YOU out shovelling while a bunch of teens are inside eating all your food? I can see PCdau and the baby to be in her belly being inside, but the rest need to go OUT to do the cleanup and shovelling. ESP as you are flaring. If they need to go somewhere, let them WALK (yes, this generation has those odd things called feet that have served prior generations so well!) AND walk home. But let them do the work BEFORE they go.

    You need to get better at taking care of yourself!! IF one of the teens (not the preg one) falls, it is likely to be maybe a sprain or bruise. If YOU fall, and the emergency crews are not running, what will happen to your entire family???????????

    As for the dog - YOU call the animal control about it. Any animal making noise for an hour constant is grounds for a ticket in our town. And NO ONE can find out who made the complaint if you make it anonymous.

    I am sorry for the accident, but so very thankful none of your family was hurt.


  8. dreamer

    dreamer New Member

    well, yes, I am a terrible enabler or whatever. and yes I take rotten care of ME, altho I take perfect care of others.....<sigh>

    It is STILL snowing so hard, another foot plus on the ground here. I was so mad at husband cuz I would send these kids to shovel and husband would hijack them to play videogames with him, taking up the space we need for the holiday so we could not work to get ready.

    Finally I actually stood ON my kitchen table and made tears come, and blubbered and said thats I started handing them all the unwrapped gifts...then I said now.take it to the curb. (that means for garbage truck pickup) Their eyes got huge, they said HUH? I said well, I cant do it and I refuse to give gifts this way to a bunch of brats. I would rather throw them away.

    My girls have been wrapping ever since. THat was around noon....then I coughed good and hard (and worked to make sure it was dramatic enough) all OVER difficult child son and their friends.. Oops sorry.
    Then I laid down in middle of our tiny galley kitchen on the floor..said oh Im too weak, sorry. well we have no family room, no dining room, no den etc, and NONE could find anywhwere to be with me there.....<shrug>
    Sons youngest friend went out and shoveled. I made them call their parents to tell parents we are shoveled in, their parents were on way home from work..but would not stop on way to get their kids. I said oh well, I cant get out. The boys began running out of interesting food and started to look a little worried......
    My husband decided finally he would drag his sorry butt out and take those boys home finally.....while he was gone, I made difficult child call and order chinese (my kids HATE chinese, I have had a taste for it for weeks) and then made her call dear daddy and say mom said stop and pick up chinese thats ready on your way home, use YOUR credit card.
    Then I pretended to be my kids and nibbbled and then said I was full. Offered what was on MY plate all mushed arund to them.....ROFL. I made sure to cough on it in front of them, first. kids got to look at me with huge eyes, MOM! what are you doing? Oh, Im sick, like I said, sorry.

    Then I announced they betetr hurry......its almost christmas, and if they want clean clothes someone better go down and do some laundry. (I do laundry every day so theres not much, but of course whats dirty is prolly what they want to wear)

    Now Im getting ready to get in tub before my kids do.....(they have a knack for beating me to it and loungeing in there for hurs, and we only have one bathroom) I plan to take a book with me........

    Im sick enough to be very disgusted and appalled and ashamed of them right now. Altho tomorrow my kids are going to work a 12 hour shift each at the homeles shelter.
    Fine, but.they need to also help at HOME.
    Yes, you are right, what will happen here if something happens to ME? I have NOT done my spoiled brats ANY favors at all. Thats going to change NOW.

    And yes, I screamed hey guys what if our baby to be decides to come EARLY like NOW with our driveway impassable? Nice thught, huh? That kinda scared them.
    Problem is daddy to be finally got a day off today, but he spent it playing videogame at his moms with his brothers.I plan to also tell him, hey dude YOUR baby can come ANY time and the driveway NEEDS tobe clear in case. Im old, Im frail, Im tired, I pay the bills..YOU can help shovel.

    SO the girls are saying mom, how do we wrap this..and Im just shrugging..I finally said, I don't know...but if you keeep playing with it, Im sure YOU will figure it out jst like *I* did 25 years ago.practice makes perfect.
    The boys DID put ornaments on the tree, ROFL, Im not sure if it was accident or on purpose, but EVERY single one is faceing to the trunk of the tree and they are all bunched up. Maybe they were waiting for me to comment and say fix it so they could whine and pretend they dont know how....all the kids were horrified when I went and looked and said, put the gifts under there. (Usually the gifts stay in hiding till christmas eve and usually *I* tinsel the heck outta the time left no energy left, no theatrical dramatics now...Im too tired)

    Yes, I decided no all......first time ever. my kids do not even EAT them.......I eat only a few.......but the kids always insist becuz its "tradition" well.....sorry, but......I just do not have the time energy or money.

    so..we're now getting there kind of. It wont be anything like how I had always made it be...too happes, roll with it kids......pitch in and help. Im OLD. Im TIRED. get over it.

    If YOU want it nice, time for you to help make it happen.

    Practice makes perfect. :)

    LOL Im off to that tub and bubbles.and then curling up i n my bed with my furbabies. and turning my cell OFF.
  9. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    dreamer, THAT WAS AWESOME!!!!!! And EXACTLY what your kids NEEDED. husband too, if he noticed.

    Sometimes we have to make them see all we do, and let them see what they offer US. Switching roles is a GOOD thing once in a while!

    Santa is going to be EXTRA nice to you, because that was incredible!!!!

    Guilt can do wonders, LOL!
  10. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    YOU GO GIRL!!!

    *standing up at my desk giving you a standing ovation*


    I have a feeling there are gonna be a few changes at dreamers house this year. lol

    Hope you enjoy a good long restful soak. :bath: After that, a nice nap is in order.

  11. dreamer

    dreamer New Member

    OK so heres how it has been going....
    the kids did wrap every single gift to each other and to dad....and I do small gifts in quantity, not large expensive gifts. I had polled my kids a couple times every year to see if they prefer to get one or 2 large gifts with a couple small ones or a bunch of small ones.they like getting small ones. So after they wrapped them ALL.....they looked at them and began to prod their dad. Dad! Dad! You HAVE to take us to the store.....Mom doesnt have hardly ANY gifts umdeer the tree! Hmm, they never really noticed before. So they ALL piled in the car and left. That was this afternoon. I got the brilliant idea to fabricate a grocery list, which I then handed to them.told them DAD could figure out how to pay, darn man has not been in a grocery store in at least 15 years. (he does not leave our house-- but he had lal the kids and PCs boyfriend with him, both easy child and her boyfriend do drive, in case dad was "rusty" or got lost (he occasionally does- nevermind we have been in this house for 21 years now)
    They did get EVERY item on grocery list! I was amazed.
    Then they came home excited and wrapped some more...they gathered laundry, emptied garbages.....loaded and ran dishwasher! Alas it did snow yet another fooot today!!!!! and no, noone got out to shovel it.
    While they were at store they scoped out open restaurants and came home, got me and took me out. LOL.
    difficult child left one bag out by accident that she was sorta confused, I was not groceries on my list....but it was food type stuff, and I saw it. It was store bought cookies, 2 different kinds of a type we always without fail bake every year. I looked and said "yukky- store bought cookies? you guys do not even really EAT cokies" difficult child looked at me and whispered, "mom, dad saw them and thought maybe YOU missed YOUR cookies, so DAD grabbed those for you" Hmmmmmmm. Well, that IS sweet, so.I might pretend I do like them even if I am not crazy about them.....who knows, maybe they will be good? It was a sweet thought.
    After we went out to eat, this funniest thing happened. First son decided to clear snow and ice off MY bug. :) and then husband took my bug and topped off gas tank.
    Then son said mom, for my cooking class, I want to cook our turkey and make mashed potatos. (hemade a chicken roasted the other day, as a way to build up to doing a turkey) Hmm Cool! cuz normally we never have a big meal for Christmas becuz I do not want to cook all day. So normally we have cheese fruit veg trays and our cookies. and we are happy. BUT we did get a turkey at the food distribution and the kids did talk me into a turkey for tomorrow, but with far less sides etc.
    So.....tonite, son got the now thaw turkey and plopped it in our sink to prep it. He was doing everything just exactly right and LOL between me, Alton Brown and PCs boyfriend who is currently IN foods and sanitation class for his job.....we are teaching him might fine, if I do say so myself......(even my girls have yet to tackle a roasted bird and this will be sons 2nd)
    And then he looked in the sink. ROFL. Oh my goodness. He had to leave the kitchen.....he was queasy. I have NEVER seen him queasy.
    He looked at the pink in the sink and said mom? is that......??? He could not say it,.....easy child got queasy at the thought and she left the room......good thing difficult child wasnt there......shes queasy all the time.......I just nodded and said honey.....thats how it is, thats all. Well he did manage to cope and continue, then......BUT as soon as he had the bird all ready and he cleaned up all the surfaces and counters and utensils properly, he said mom? you mind if I um....go take a bath, now? I dont feel so good right now.
    Poor buddy of mine, LOL. But he did great. And he says tomorrow morning he is gonna get it in the oven and handle it. (no, it is NOT stuffed, my kids do not eat stuffing, and I decided to forgo stuffing for simplicity) So the bird is in fridge waiting for morning and my son. Then when he got out of hisbath he peeled potatos and boiled them, mashed them, mixed in cheese and put them in a casserole dish to bake tomorrow. (his idea, we never made cheesey mashed potatos before)

    So------my cold is abut the same, thank goodness it is not seeming to get worse. YAY! sadly, my RA is hanging on......but it is not getting excessively bad, altho haveing to skip my shot.....makes me nervous. BUT I did not tell my kids I am not super sick, LOL. Desperate times call for desperate measures.....I have never been deceptive before like this BUT......I REALLY need to learn to make my kids do more, and my kids really really do need to learn to do more. Im not sure how much of their willingness to help is the holiday spirit, and how much is me being sick. Becuz see, even tho my medications supposedly trash my immune system.....truth is I never ever have been a person who EVER gets colds, flu, viruses or anything. Never have and not even after starting all these medications, I never did. and since starting all these medications, what almost 2 years ago, now? My RA has not been anissue at all either..quite a remarkable remission, really. It is possible they are a little freaked ut at the idea of my RA creeping back up or me being "sick" Maybe if we are all lucky some of the things they are doing right now will "stick" .
    SO after dinner I let the girls prepare some of the early prep for the snacks for tomrrow. They did pretty good. And now.for a change.ALL are in their beds. (they are ALL nite owls save easy child)
    SO.Im gonna fill the stockings and call it a nite.

    Wishing you all a very good Christmas. I am hoping a little good magic falls upon you. And thank you for your encouragement and support. :)
  12. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    Wow! I should have tried that years ago. You did great!