My son hasnt changed

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by Helpless29, Apr 22, 2018.

  1. Helpless29

    Helpless29 Member

    Many of you who followed my post know about my 15 year’s old son substance abuse, manipulation & his last episode of running away from rehab . Well today I decided to call his dad & tell him my son can come over to visit because he has been asking to come over, my rule was he could come but would not be allowed to use the computer because I did not want him going on social media reconnecting with old friends. I guess I was the fool to think he actually missed me & his little brothers because he said he did not want to come anymore , shows me he has not changed & is selfish and only thinks about himself.
     
  2. Triedntrue

    Triedntrue Active Member

    So sorry
     
  3. BloodiedButUnbowed

    BloodiedButUnbowed Active Member

    As you may know from my post history, we have been dealing with estrangement from both of my stepsons, off and on, for the past several years. At this point neither son wants anything to do with us. It's one of the worst, cruelest ploys a child can play on a parent. I am very sorry you are going through this.

    At the same time in our case stepsons are somewhat justified in that their relationship with my W is difficult and strained, and has been for years, and isn't entirely their fault. I suspect they do not know how to cope with the situation other than withdrawing from it completely.

    In your case it sounds like your son has found an enabler of sorts in his father. He is immature and his mind still clouded by drugs. Not denying that he may also be selfish, as you say; my stepsons are not high character people so I understand. But it seems your situation offers more hope for a reconciliation down the line, as it appears your son is simply chafing against your rules at the present time and deep down, does love you. I don't believe my stepsons love either my wife, or me.

    Best of luck and sorry to hear of the pain your son caused this weekend.
     
  4. Enmeshedmom

    Enmeshedmom Active Member

    I have found that most 15 year old kids are selfish. I think he is just trying to manipulate the situation to make you miss him enough to say “ok you can use the computer for a little while if you come see us.”
    Try not to take it personally, at this age he can’t see past his needs. He is no where near finished growing yet... emotionally speaking.
    I remember thinking when my son was 13 to 15 that he was never going to have any empathy for anyone nor any sense of responsibility for his own actions. I’m glad to say even with the struggles we do have today he has developed those characteristics. He still has work to do on taking responsibility but he is in the process. I’ll never forget the day that we had a big argument to the point I ended up in tears and he went to his room and slammed the door. Well about 30 minutes later he came out and said he was sorry for the way he acted and making me cry. After the shock wore off I cried happy tears because I never thought those words would pass his lips. Hang in there.