My son is now in inpatient rehab...update

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by in a daze, Sep 6, 2011.

  1. in a daze

    in a daze Guest

    It's been 2 weeks...saw him on Sunday...he looked and sounded better. He says the depression is much better since medications were adjusted...Wellbutrin was increased and Buspar added in the hospital during detox. His counselor did confirm that he scored low on the depression scale when evaluated. He wants to come home after discharge. He wrote up an elaborate contract....will apply for 2 jobs a day, no drinking IN THE HOUSE ( how about no drinking, period?) will respect parents, etc. etc. We want him to go to a sober living house. I can feel myself wavering. But I know the recovery home is the best thing for him. At home he'll be back with his friends, going to the bar, arguing with his dad, begging us for money, etc. There will be a honeymoon period, then it will be the same old ****, I'm sure. I hope we stay strong.

    I know some of you have had your son/daughter stay in a sober house and I would like to hear of your experiences with them.
  2. AHF

    AHF Member

    Have not had the experience, but I did check into sober houses recently for my difficult child, who is leaving the psychiatric ward with nowhere to go because he won't comply with the conditions of any step-down program that'll take him. The houses I found told me that the first requirement is 30 meetings in 30 days. Wow. If your son is willing to do that, I'd say go the sober house route, definitely. The commitment alone will make a huge difference. But if he's not willing (mine wouldn't be), then they'll toss him out and you'll have the same problem you have now.
  3. in a daze

    in a daze Guest

    If he doesn't comply, don't know what we'll do...I don't believe any of his promises of reform if he were to come back home. He's cooperating so far at the rehab. His discharge date is set for two weeks. I am researching sober houses right now. Hope he gets into one and agrees to stay.
  4. Signorina

    Signorina Guest

    Good luck, I hope you find a good fit for him and that he agrees. I will keep thinking positive thoughts for you. Try not to let the anticipation of "2 weeks, what if" overhwelm you. IKR? Easier said than done. {hugs}
  5. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Our difficult child was in a rehab center for 60 days. She was released and did outpatient for 5 weeks. She relapsed immediately. We kicked her out, she lived with a guy for three months, went off the deep end and checked herself into a sober house after we told her she could not come back home. The rehab center wanted her to go to a sober house when she first left them but she wouldn't. She ended up there and it's the only thing that saved her.

    There is no way your difficult child can get on the right path living in your home. His detox is too fresh and he has just begun recovery. It takes a good strong support group and a recovery program to start changing his thinking and behavior. Of course he wants to come home, it is less threatening. I strong recommend a sober house. They have strict rules and will give him the structure and support he needs. Even if he relapses they are there to help. There is a whole community of recovery just waiting to help him.

  6. in a daze

    in a daze Guest

    My feelings exactly! Signoria you guessed right as I am stressing out over this. Just trying to do it one day at a time. I haven't heard from him all week. I plan to see him this weekend and I will bring some handouts on the houses that I have picked out.
  7. toughlovin

    toughlovin Guest

    You definitely don't want him coming home... I know it is tempting for you especially if he is convincing. However I think it is really hard to continue in recovery in the best of circumstances, can coming home to his old environment, with the old friends is going to be way harder. I would think the rehab would have some sober living places they work with that they could refer him too? I would push them to help find an alternative. Also I would tell him that coming home right now is not really an option and that he needs to work with the rehab center to find a place to go. The more responsibility he takes for his next step the better off he will be....he will not be as invested if you find the place for him. Unfortunately I speak from experience.

  8. in a daze

    in a daze Guest

    Thanks, TL. Husband and I agree that coming home would be counter productive. Husband called some places yesterday. The good ones have waiting lists. The one place that has beds does not have a lot of structure other than a curfew. We're looking for one that has some structure with meetings and group activities, as he is not a self starter.