Hi, My difficult child (a boy) is 12. He was diagnosis'd at 6 with ADHD. He currently takes 30 mg of medate. We have tried all the other medicines and they do not work. Medate seems to really help most of the symptoms but he still daydreams in school and can get distracted. We tried to up the dosage but he got very moody. He has learning disabilities and has been on an IEP since first grade. He is now is 6th grade. His IEP qualification is that he does not perform to potential but they have not identified a learning disability. My difficult child is very immature of his age. I read somewhere that there is sometimes a lag of three years in ADHD kiddos. So what I have is a sixth grade body and a third grade mind! My difficult child does not like school. He goes and makes the best of it, but does not like it. He is mainstreamed and is in two classes with an aide that assits him and other IEP students in class. My difficult child forgets to write down homework 50% of the time. He forgets to turn it in 10%. He gets better each year, but needs me to constantly be on top of him. I do this a couple ways. First, he is suppose to write in his planner. If he does not, I make him log onto the school website and find his assingments. I try to have him do the homework by himself with me near by (doing dishes\reading) in case he needs help. Sometimes he stays on task, sometimes I have to focus him. Homework can take 2-3 hours a night. I send teachers emails clarifying homework, or question missing homework maybe one or at most twice a week. I really only have to email two of his five teachers. I usually email the teacher myself (verus difficult child) because it is honestly just easier and I want the teachers to know I am involved. The Special Education teacher and principal told me that the teachers feel I am enabling my difficult child. That I need to let him figure the homework\missing assginments\projects\due dates on his own. They said he is in sixth grade and needs to take responsiblity. If he fails, so be it. I explained that I do not want to control\enable difficult child but if I left him to sink or swim he would sink. I told them that every year he has improved, and I have let go as he is able to do it on his own. I told them that I would much rather let go, but as a mother it is my job to make sure difficult child learns. If that means I have to spend the time I will do it. This conversation happened about a month ago and every day I think about it. Am I the problem? Should I be doing something different? Am I enabling him. If I let go completely, would he be forced to step up to the plate? I have tried to get difficult child to be more independent. I no longer go get things for him like a drink, his shoes...which I use to do because it was just easier than fighting with him because he took forever to do it! He has gotten a lot better over the last six months of doing things for himself. He has household chores that he does without much fuss most of the time. We do have to remind him sometimes of what chores need to still be completed. What do you think? Please be honest... Me-Normal I think. Brother with severe learning disabilities. Family issues with depression and other mental illness. husband-Nomal he thinks! Family history of severe ADHD. easy child - 17 year old girl. Some ADHD traits but is wonderful and able to deal and overcome any issues. Makes me realize I am a good parent and can raise a healthy and adjusted child!