Never send a man to do men's work or...

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by tiredmommy, May 17, 2008.

  1. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    How I've spent my Saturday. :hammer:

    We need new storm doors (front & back), and husband decided to go to Home Depot to pick them up today, plus buy a power washer as our old one died last year.

    Neither of us has a truck, but my back seat folds down, so his theory was that the doors would slide in, we'd tie down the hood of the trunk and I'd slowly drive home. We would do this after Duckie's dance class and Duckie would ride home with husband and the power washer. He said he measured the trunk to verify the doors would fit before I left for dance.

    Most men should never be allowed to measure anything. I have a theory about why so many men think something measures bigger than it really is, but I can't print it here. Let's just say it boils down to wishful thinking.

    So we meet up at Home Depot (which I despise, but that's another story) and make our door selections based on husband's measurements. It's 12:15pm. We pay for everything and make our way to the parking lot. husband gets the power washer in his car and heads over to mine. The backseat is turned down and bungee cords are ready. husband pops the trunk and exclaims "Oh %$&#!!! I didn't realize your trunk had a one and a half inch bump-in on each side."

    You read that right: the trunk (which he measured!) is a full 3 inches narrower than his measurement. Why? Because he measured the outside of the lid rather than the interior of the trunk.

    So we head back inside to see if we can arrange delivery. Have you ever tried to get assistance at Home Depot at 12:30pm on a Saturday afternoon. It took an hour before husband managed to return to doors, repurchase and and put in an order for delivery. We didn't even know when they would be delivered by the time we left the store, though the store did call with a delivery date and time right about the time we got home.

    But wait! It doesn't end there...

    I jokingly asked husband over dinner if he had verified the measurements of both doors before he left. He assured me they were both a standard 36"x80" door. I asked him if that meant he measured them.

    No. He hadn't measured both, only the front door.

    The back door is 32"x80". :hammer:
  2. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful


    ACK!!! I've learned to watch over husband's shoulder for stuff like this. If I don't even little things can wind up costing a fortune.

    I feel your pain.:dissapointed:
  3. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    The man is a college graduate. He has a degee in mathematics!!! :rolleyes:
  4. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green


    Reminds me of my Grandpa. The most intelligent man I've ever known. He could do Algebra in his HEAD! But for the life of him......couldn't program his VCR. And if you got their answering machine, he said his speil and then there was about 10 or 15 seconds of listening to him fumble around trying to figure out how to stop the recording. Even now that he's gone, Grandma still has that on her machine. I REALLY have to get a recording of it! LOL
  5. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    Ask him if you bought a 34" flat screen t.v. which door should he bring it in? (that includes the remote to go with it).

    (they really need to move this smiley to the top of the list - it is used so often.)
  6. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest


    My grandfather was the same way. Genius level when it came to mathematics, mechanics and electronics but clueless when it came to common sense stuff. Poor guy.

    When I was building my house, I had one room that was going to be a 1/2 bath, but I had it built as a large closet. This house had no storage space and 2 full bathrooms upstairs and I needed the closet space. So, just before I closed on the house, I went to Lowes and took my diagram of the room with the wall measurements that the builder had provided to have shelving cut. After I finally track down a guy to cut the shelving and wait around while he figures everything out, I get the cut shelves to the house to find out the shelves for one wall had been cut about 3 inches too long. I should have just asked him to hand me the tools and I'd cut them myself. :rofl:

    I like your theory, by the way. It reminds me of the exercise room of the police dept for the city I used to work for. One wall was all mirror and in the corner was a sticker that read: WARNING! Objects in mirror are smaller than they appear.
  7. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    been there done that. It's a pretty familiar scenario. Thanks for the laugh.
  8. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    Adrianne, a 34" TV is measured across the diagonal. So it would go through either door.

    Maybe that's where husband went wrong, TM? Did he measure the doors with the TV?

  9. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Hey, our men must be related! (THEY ARE, they both got the MALE GENE -- the one that prevents them from actually measuring something, asking for directions, READING directions, putting something back when they're finished with it (hmmm, like a toilet seat?), or admitting when they are WRONG).
  10. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    Here's the kicker... he seems to think that I should spend my day at Home Depot straightening the mess out! Ugh. :hammer:
  11. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member


    TM, thanks for the laugh and the visual this morning. Good think I wasn't take a sip of coffee when I read the above!

  12. WhymeMom?

    WhymeMom? No real answers to life..

    Learned early in my marriage that its all about choices. If I wanted a project done; did I ask husband to do anything around the house, did I hire it done or did I do it myself? Learned quickly for long lasting marriage the last two choices were my only concern......
  13. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    I don't know why, but in a lot of ways men don't think as logically as women.

    I once went to a Lowe's store 60 miles away and bought a Weedeater. I knew how big a Weedeater was and that it would fit in my small car, but I didn't figure on the box it came in being so big! Couldn't take it out of the box because of all the little dooies in there. One of the male salesmen rolled it out to the car - he tried and tried and couldn't get it in there. Finally two women employees came out and between the three of us, we got it in there! One end was in the back seat, we folded down the front passenger seat, and the other end was sticking out the window ... but it was IN THERE! I had to laugh - one of the ladies stood back grinning and said, "We did GOOD, didn't we!"

    If my ex had been involved, he would have tried a couple of times, then would have gotten mad, probably bashed a hole in the roof of the car, and shoved the box through the hole! Then he would have said, "Well, you wanted it in there, didn't you? I got it in there ... quit your b*tching!"
  14. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    Don't even get me started. husband has a PhD in physics but can't tie his own shoes. Ask him about sub atomic particles, and you can't shut him up for the next two hours. Trust me...we've all learned NOT TO ASK. When he's watching some science show, we ALL exit the room immediately.

  15. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    Bet he won't stop and ask for directions either, right?
  16. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    Are you kidding me? He'd rather stab himself in the eye than ask for directions. His classic line is, "That's how I roll." Well...while you're 'rolling,' I'm asking for directions.

  17. 4sumrzn

    4sumrzn New Member

    So glad I stopped in this evening...I can always count on a good giggle (or more). Sorry about the the "issues" though. Hope it all works out smoothly from here on out. by the way.....who is installing these doors? Him?
  18. Star*

    Star* call 911

    WEll then - there is your solution! Next time you need something for the house - tell mathematics college grad you need to find the VOLUME of the door in pints vs. quarts and at least to figure out wth you were talking about he would take a measurement.



    OMG this post just killed me - I was thinking about that couple in Tennessee that couldn't get the TV in the car after purchase so they put the kid in the truck with the tv to hold it.

    Duckie didn't mention anything about a ride did she?

  19. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Too funny!
  20. Star*

    Star* call 911

    Your REAL job in comedy genius isn't it?