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Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by ggluvbug, Nov 4, 2007.

  1. ggluvbug

    ggluvbug New Member

    I just wanted to take a sec to intro myself here. I am a mother to 3 darlings. My oldest is BiPolar (BP). He is 10 and was diagnosed with a mood disorder when he was 6...specified as BiPolar (BP) when he was 8. He is on 3 medications right now...Depakote, Ablify, and Klonipin(for anxiety related to Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)) and while he seems to need all of these medications, he seems to just get worse. It is hard to explain. He can control himself, but he becomes more and more rigid the older he gets. I am so worried about him in his teen years.
    My other 2 children don't show any of the same issues as my son, so I pray this has skipped them. It is very genetic in my family, so I can only pray that they will escape this.
    I worry about what will happen to my son. Will I wind up with a child living at home with me forever? Will he be able to have a normal life? I get so sad when I think about it.
  2. Sheila

    Sheila Moderator

    Hi ggluvbug

    I was just taking a quick peek at the board before shutting the computer down for the night and wanted to say hello.

    We all worry about the same things..... It's hard parenting a difficult child and wondering about what the future may bring.

    We have a good number of difficult children with-bipolar; parents too. It's a testament to me that things can and do get better most of the time. I also think that as time goes on, the better the treatment will become for all disorders.

    Glad you found us. :smile:
  3. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Hiya luvbug, welcome to the board!

    You found a very safe place to land, and there are lots and LOTS of wonderful, insightful, wise mommies here with some great advice (and even more with a sympathetic ear and a hug). We may not have the exact same issues, but we are all pretty close.

    The board is usually pretty quiet on a Sunday night, but we'll be hopping again tomorrow morning. Just wanted to offer a welcome and let you know we're here for you.

    As far as the outlook for your son, it really is anyone's guess. There are some moms on the board here with grown difficult child's (that is what we call out difficult kids, our gifts from God) that have moved out, gotten jobs, joined the military... The thing is, to waste your energy worrying about it now is pointless.

    Spend your energy enjoying your childrens' youth. It will be gone before you know it.

  4. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    Hi ggluvbug and welcome to the board.

    Puberty always makes these things more pronounced and if he's not in puberty yet, he will be soon. What you're seeing now may look a lot different in a few years.

    As far as being rigid, I think that's fairly common among our kids...some more than others. They feel so out of control with themselves that they have to have something they can control. If it doesn't hurt anyone, I would allow it and help him work through it when things don't go as planned.

    Make sure to take time for yourself so you have the resources to take care of your kiddo.
  5. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Puberty can make symptoms of a disorder worse, and even cause new ones to appear. To make it worse, kids can go thru puberty at different ages, one might be really early, another on time, and yet another really late.

    If you don't feel his medications are really helping him, maybe it's time to talk to the psychiatrist about either changing doses or trying a new medication. Not fun, I know.

    Welcome to the board. :flower:
  6. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    While nobody can tell you your child's outcome, I have a suggestion. Has he ever seen a neuropsychologist for a complete evaluation? My son was diagnosed as bipolar and he's really on the autism spectrum and he's doing really well now that we know. Did he have any speech delays, trouble with peers, poor eye contact? I'd want to make sure he has bipolar and another opinion can't hurt. If it's in the family, yes, it's hereditary, but so many disorders mimic one another and you said that your child is getting worse instead of better.
    I have bipolar II and it was unmedicated until I was twenty-three, and it got worse. If he does have bipolar, the key is good medication management and therapy to make sure he knows he can't use recreational drugs like other kids will (including drinking) because THAT will also mess with his stability BIG TIME. Other kids may be able to experiment and then pull back, but that would be harder for him.
    I strongly recommend a neuropsychologist exam to see if he also feels this is bipolar OR if he thinks there is a comorbid diagnosis that also needs treatment. It's really hard to get everything right. Really, I learned later rather than sooner that it takes more than one hour of hearing the family history and the child's behavior to diagnose a child correctly. We lived in medication hell for three years because my son was diagnosed wrong. Good luck, whatever you do!
  7. goldenguru

    goldenguru Active Member

    Hi ggluvbug~

    If I've learned anything about this journey it is this: to take every day as it comes. I understand the inclination to worry about the future, but the truth is that it doesn't do much to help the situation.

    There is other very good advise above(especially about getting your son evaluated by a neuropsychologist)that I would suggest considering.

    Planning for your sons future and making preparations are very important. Worrying about your sons future drains precious emotional energy. I know - cause I've done more than my fair share. :hammer:
  8. tinamarie1

    tinamarie1 Member

    Yes, what is that song, "one day at a time sweet jesus"
    I too worry about my difficult child's future, and hes only 10 too! I have come to accept that if he can't function in the real world, then I will always have a place for him at home. He has said to me recently that he wants to be a Fireman when he grows up, but wants to live with me and take care of ME. lol
    I know how you feel worrying about difficult child's future. I think as their parents its only natural to want them to have a "normal" life.
  9. SprinkleMeLola

    SprinkleMeLola New Member

    I'm new here, too, and I completely understand what you're going through. This is a great place to come and let everything out, because everyone here has been through SOMETHING that might help you.

    Take it day by day and realize that we're all worrying, but all we can really do is do our best and hope for them.
  10. ggluvbug

    ggluvbug New Member

    Thanks so much for your words of support.
    Yes, my son is starting to go through puberty.
    He has been tested through the school (has an IEP) and has been evaluated by 4 different psychiatrists. He has also had an MRI when he was younger. Sometimes I wonder about Asperger's as he demonstrates some of those symptoms, but most of his fall more under BiPolar (BP) than AS.
    It is so hard not to worry, you know????