New member! Advice and a kind word much appreciated.

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by missnurse, Jul 10, 2012.

  1. missnurse

    missnurse New Member

    Hello all,

    I saw this website and it was love at first site! (buh duh bump) I am the very young stepmother to a fantastic six year old boy. I have been a parental figure in his life for the past three years or so, his mother is a "fun on the weekend/no structure/no routine" kind of parent, not involved with his mental health or his schooling. Very sad :(

    Now onto the important stuff-the son! He was diagnosed with ADHD and Autism before kindergarten, and is in a Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) classroom. He did good and bad in school this year,and is now going into 1st grade. We had great communication support with his teacher, with a daily walk through of tasks and transitioning. (example- circle time= :), art=:( with commentary ) He had a really hard time transitioning to other activities and often got violent and had tornado like temper tantrums. He has hurt his teacher and classmates. When he is set on doing something, he fixates on it. His speech is very limited, and I would describe it as someone trying to speak another language. He knows the answers to some of the same questions he always hears, like that school was GOOD but cant tell me what he did. It would come out more like "uh ummm art and gtta gtta gtta gtta"

    He does best when in a very strict routine, but when he goes to his mother's on Friday, he's back to not talking at all, because all he does over there is watch movies, all day. We have tried to beg her to do something educational or at least take him outside/talk to him/read to him, to no avail.

    He's been on his new and first medication, Tenex 1mg tablets, for a week and he's behaving very well at home and at summer school, although it's making him very tired. I hope this will decrease as his little body gets used to the medication. Has Tenex worked for anyone else?

    Well, that's about it for my introduction. I spend the most time with him and he really is a very very sweet and affectionate kid. He can read at a second grade level, I just feel like his emotions and his brain are just moving too fast and he doesn't have any control of them.

    Thank you all.
  2. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    My son is on Tenex with very good results. His is given at bedtime to help with sleep. Has the psychiatrist discussed the long-acting version with you? It's called Intuniv and is commonly used for ADHD symptoms. That might be an option for daytime?? It would be worth checking into if the Tenex seems to be working.

    Does he have an IEP in school? If he has speech delays, is he receiving Speech Therapy at school? Occupational Therapy might also be helpful with some of the transition stuff. Transitions are sooooo hard for our kids. How do they handle transitions? How do they handle him when he has a meltdown?

    Welcome to our little corner of the world. It's great that you are seeking advice and this place is the BEST place I've found. All the advice is from parents who have been or are where I am and survived or are working at improving their kids' lives. I am very glad you found us.
  3. lovelyboy

    lovelyboy Member

    I dont have the same situation.....sure others will be able to give helpfull advice!
    I can just add, was also thinking Occupational Therapist (OT) might help with possible tactile defensiveness or seeking behaviour!
  4. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Hi there, sweetie (you said you're very young...well, I'm We welcome you to our family and I think you and your husband are doing EXACTLY what your stepson needs to function well. Kudos to you for your love and caring of this little boy. Structure is very important, as you know, to a child on the spectrum. Does your child have some sort of transitioning clause in his IEP, such as perhaps he can start leaving to his next class earlier than the other kids and with a special aide? Transitions are so hard for our kids. They are not misbehaving. They just do not transition well...sort of freaks them out. My son is nineteen and much better now, but he still loves routine. (He is on the spectrum too). My guess is perhaps since your stepson has limited language he gets frustrated when he can't be understood. Is he in speech at school? Occupational Therapist (OT) for sensory issues? If not, maybe you and your hub should go back to the table and ask for these changes in his IEP. My son had speech (even though he could speak pretty well) and Occupational Therapist (OT) in school and I think both really helped him.

    As for deadbeat X, I am so sorry about her. Unfortunately, there is really nothing you can do about her. My son is going through a divorce and his soon-to-be X is sleeping around right in front of his son, but there is nothing he can do legally. Unless a spouse is doing something illegal and it can be proven, I don't believe the courts pay any attention. But if your hub is on good terms with her, could he maybe kindly ask her to do certain things so that both of you can be on the same page? I mean, I assume he has already tried, but....thought I'd give it a stab in the dark.

    You are not alone anymore. Post as often as you like.