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[Marguerite]

MWM, I do know where you're coming from. I wish more parents could be as active as we are in following up on our children, their education and their needs, and being REASONABLE about it as we do.

I've supported a number of other parents in trying to get support, assistance, diagnosis for their kids. Some parents are great once they know what they need to do. Others blow with the wind, depending on what different people advise them. And again, others get their own fixed ideas and totally refuse to compromise or listen to the school's point of view. Even if the school has got it wrong - there are ways of working with them as a team (which you and I do) which so many parents do not.

Then there are those who use denial as a coping strategy.

And the variations on all these.

Yes, we parents get blamed a lot more than we should. I've had school counsellors and teachers accuse me of some terrible things, to my face as well as behind my back. But I stuck it out, faced them with it, discussed it all calmly with them and taught them purely by showing them, that things were not as they thought. The ultimate aim in my book - for them to learn and be better equipped for the child to come after mine.

We need good teachers in the system, teachers who will listen to us, listen to the child and use their brains to work out the best way to manage - for the child's sake and the teacher's sakes too, because good teachers who burn out are not of use to us (sorry to seem so cynical, all you teachers!).

From what teachergirl said about the child's parents, I can see why at this stage she seems critical. I'm not above being critical of parents either, although I would hope any person would change her views if the evidence warranted it.

It would be good to be wrong. It would be bad to be complacent and assume there was no problem with the parents.

Hang in there, fellow warrior mum.

Marg

 

[teachergirl]

Again, I was not judging the parents, only telling you what has actually happened so far.... As I said in my previous post, I do not know what goes on at home. I only know what has been said and done at school and the impressions, right or wrong, that those events/conversations have given. I thought that parents here would have some good advice. A response or two here has been pretty demoralizing. I'm trying to get better at my job..

Yes, he has an IEP for math but that may not last long as he may no longer qualify and that is going to make behavior issues intensify because right now he gets special considerations because he under the Special Education umbrella. He does not have an aide, can't see that he will ever have an aide. The only children with aides in our school are those in wheelchairs that need physical assistance.

I certainly did not intend to get into a "war of words" because someone thinks I am judging parents.(I am a parent too). I am here because I want what is best for this kiddo and was hoping to get some ideas. Gosh, I am judged harshly by parents every single day. I know exactly what that feels like and that was not my intent in seeking help here and I certainly did not expect this kind of response

I got the book "The Explosive Child" yesterday at the library and am about halfway through it. I think I have done a little of Plan A, a lot of Plan C lately and some Plan B when time permits. The book makes a lot of sense and I am eager to see if it will help. If this child stays signed up for my class, I will have him for the next two years too so I may be able to make some progress with this plan over time.

Yes, it is wonderful to have a phone and internet and intercom. The last school I was at didn't have any of those in my room and physically I was very isolated as well. Kind of scary. The secretaries would call me on my cell phone. I considered asking for some reimbursement (ha ha, would never happen!).

 

[BusynMember]

I think I overrated and I"m sorry. Yes, we all are judged, aren't we? (((Hugs))) for caring about your child. Really, much of it, however, is out of your hands. Like I said, great teachers made my son the functional young man he is today, so I certainly don't dislike teachers. Peace, I hope :wink:

 

[teachergirl]

Peace, absolutely. I operate under the idea of every day is a new day, a new chance, the past is gone. I don't know how I could go to work every day if I didn't.

by the way, I cannot figure out what difficult child means...I think easy child is perfect children. Am I right?

Take care.

 

[flutterbee]

difficult child is Gift From God - the child that brings us here. And, yes, easy child is Perfect Child.