I don't even know where to start. difficult child is 15, and my biological daughter. I left my verbally abusive husband in 1995, and they've only seen each other once since. He's just not capable of being a father, and doesn't try. difficult child was diagnosis with ADHD @age 7, depression @age 12, and ODD & not otherwise specified mood disorder @age 14. Now that I've read a brief description of NAD, I think she has that too. She seems to have traits of both types.
Big temper tantrums & stand-offishness started @age 3, as well as having to basically start the potty-training process all over again. (flash forward) I wonder if a male relative of the in-home daycare she went to molested her. In Oct '07 (right after she turned 14) she had a major melt down, was hospitalized in a Residential Treatment Center (RTC) for 8 days, and she divulged that she had been sexually hurt. She stated she doesn't remember when, by whom, or where it happened, just that it did.
Anyway, around age 7, before her ADHD diagnosis, she started having big tantrums and saying she wished she would die. Therapy helped. Then when she was 11, she started becoming hyper-sexual and I discovered that her internet use was mostly in the form of cyber sex IMs. Internet was cancelled, and we tried counseling. She refused to cooperate. This was right before we moved across country, and things have just progressively gotten worse. Oh, and around this time she also started refusing to bathe, brush her hair, and brush her teeth. Today she still only showers 1-2 times a week if I'm lucky, and brushes her teeth less often. Her hair is always messy, and she always has snarls at the nape of her neck (tosses her hair in a ponytail bun thingy).
The Oct '07 incident from above, was a week-long hell of lashing out verbally (swearing every-other word), and then finally physically. She was getting so out of control. The pinnacle was over the fact that I found that she had been using her new (had it for a couple weeks) cell phone to take explicit pics and was sending them to adult male online predators who somehow found her on her cell with IM'ing (or maybe she seeks them out?). I demanded that she give me her phone. She yelled, screamed (help me help me & stuff, oh great I thought, what are the neighbors thinking I'm doing to her), threatened to jump out her 2nd floor bedroom window to escape me with her phone, then beat me up to get out of her room. I got up & followed her downstairs where she attacked me again, and then fled for several hours (with the damned phone). I called the police, and they eventually got her as she tried to sneak back in the apt. They recommended that I file a domestic assault against her, so they arrested her and she spent the rest of the night in juvy. During the prelim hearing the next morning, the judge released her to me with the promise that she wouldn't attack me again and she would participate in counseling.
Well that day she was ok, but that night she ran off again, and I again called the police. This time I had them take her to NetCare, a psychiatric intake/help place for referrals. They got her into an adolescent Residential Treatment Center (RTC), and she spent 8 days there. They diagnosis her with ODD, and said they thought she was Bi-Polar, but I would have to follow up with a psychiatrist for the diagnosis. The day she was released, I made the first-available appointment with a child psychiatric near me, but the appointment was 8 months away. I did get a not otherwise specified mood disorder, but again my difficult child didn't participate in the sessions.
This past Oct, a year to date of the incident practically, she started getting out of control again & threatened "back off & leave me alone, you don't want a repeat of Oct". Well I discovered pornographic pictures of her on my computer (had recently gotten internet back on) that a 25 year old local man took of her. I recognized his SUV as one I saw her get into during her recent unruliness, that she told me was the dad of her friend in the neighborhood & they were going to Starbucks (& was back home in under 2 hours). I put 2+2 together, and immediately called my local detective who handles exploited children/internet predators. This was over 2 1/2 months ago, and they are "still working on it".
difficult child refused to attend local h.s., so in Dec she started home online h.s. She's now refusing to do that, she's refusing to take her medications, and she's getting involved with adult men sexually. Go figure that she doesn't have vaginal intercourse with her age-appropriate boyfriend who visited (met online, came to visit for several weeks around Christmas, and "wanted to wait until his next visit before having vaginal sex"), but she'll hang out with a guy who's 21 or older in a heartbeat.
She's way out of control, and I'm looking into seeing if I can get her into a long term Residential Treatment Center (RTC). She's a flight risk, so I don't think that a DTC is a viable option yet. I worry about her running away, I worry about her depression & not on any medications to regulate her major mood swings, I worry about STD's, pregnancy, and I worry that she will be abducted or killed by someone. We don't have internet again, and her new phone doesn't have a camera or IM capabilities. But still.
I don't know where to start. I've got so much on my plate, that I can't even focus on my job. I'm sitting her typing away at work. I need to file an Unruly Minor charge against difficult child, and so Googled that. That's how I came across this website. I got choked up when I read the top of the page that says, "Conduct Disorders. A soft place to land for the battle wary parent". You don't know how much it means to me to have this website. I really needed this. Thank you!
Big temper tantrums & stand-offishness started @age 3, as well as having to basically start the potty-training process all over again. (flash forward) I wonder if a male relative of the in-home daycare she went to molested her. In Oct '07 (right after she turned 14) she had a major melt down, was hospitalized in a Residential Treatment Center (RTC) for 8 days, and she divulged that she had been sexually hurt. She stated she doesn't remember when, by whom, or where it happened, just that it did.
Anyway, around age 7, before her ADHD diagnosis, she started having big tantrums and saying she wished she would die. Therapy helped. Then when she was 11, she started becoming hyper-sexual and I discovered that her internet use was mostly in the form of cyber sex IMs. Internet was cancelled, and we tried counseling. She refused to cooperate. This was right before we moved across country, and things have just progressively gotten worse. Oh, and around this time she also started refusing to bathe, brush her hair, and brush her teeth. Today she still only showers 1-2 times a week if I'm lucky, and brushes her teeth less often. Her hair is always messy, and she always has snarls at the nape of her neck (tosses her hair in a ponytail bun thingy).
The Oct '07 incident from above, was a week-long hell of lashing out verbally (swearing every-other word), and then finally physically. She was getting so out of control. The pinnacle was over the fact that I found that she had been using her new (had it for a couple weeks) cell phone to take explicit pics and was sending them to adult male online predators who somehow found her on her cell with IM'ing (or maybe she seeks them out?). I demanded that she give me her phone. She yelled, screamed (help me help me & stuff, oh great I thought, what are the neighbors thinking I'm doing to her), threatened to jump out her 2nd floor bedroom window to escape me with her phone, then beat me up to get out of her room. I got up & followed her downstairs where she attacked me again, and then fled for several hours (with the damned phone). I called the police, and they eventually got her as she tried to sneak back in the apt. They recommended that I file a domestic assault against her, so they arrested her and she spent the rest of the night in juvy. During the prelim hearing the next morning, the judge released her to me with the promise that she wouldn't attack me again and she would participate in counseling.
Well that day she was ok, but that night she ran off again, and I again called the police. This time I had them take her to NetCare, a psychiatric intake/help place for referrals. They got her into an adolescent Residential Treatment Center (RTC), and she spent 8 days there. They diagnosis her with ODD, and said they thought she was Bi-Polar, but I would have to follow up with a psychiatrist for the diagnosis. The day she was released, I made the first-available appointment with a child psychiatric near me, but the appointment was 8 months away. I did get a not otherwise specified mood disorder, but again my difficult child didn't participate in the sessions.
This past Oct, a year to date of the incident practically, she started getting out of control again & threatened "back off & leave me alone, you don't want a repeat of Oct". Well I discovered pornographic pictures of her on my computer (had recently gotten internet back on) that a 25 year old local man took of her. I recognized his SUV as one I saw her get into during her recent unruliness, that she told me was the dad of her friend in the neighborhood & they were going to Starbucks (& was back home in under 2 hours). I put 2+2 together, and immediately called my local detective who handles exploited children/internet predators. This was over 2 1/2 months ago, and they are "still working on it".
difficult child refused to attend local h.s., so in Dec she started home online h.s. She's now refusing to do that, she's refusing to take her medications, and she's getting involved with adult men sexually. Go figure that she doesn't have vaginal intercourse with her age-appropriate boyfriend who visited (met online, came to visit for several weeks around Christmas, and "wanted to wait until his next visit before having vaginal sex"), but she'll hang out with a guy who's 21 or older in a heartbeat.
She's way out of control, and I'm looking into seeing if I can get her into a long term Residential Treatment Center (RTC). She's a flight risk, so I don't think that a DTC is a viable option yet. I worry about her running away, I worry about her depression & not on any medications to regulate her major mood swings, I worry about STD's, pregnancy, and I worry that she will be abducted or killed by someone. We don't have internet again, and her new phone doesn't have a camera or IM capabilities. But still.
I don't know where to start. I've got so much on my plate, that I can't even focus on my job. I'm sitting her typing away at work. I need to file an Unruly Minor charge against difficult child, and so Googled that. That's how I came across this website. I got choked up when I read the top of the page that says, "Conduct Disorders. A soft place to land for the battle wary parent". You don't know how much it means to me to have this website. I really needed this. Thank you!