Hi! Someone from another message board I belong to referred me to this group. I've been reading the posts for the past week. I have to say it's great finding others with problems like mine (not that I'm happy you are having problems, but glad I'm not alone). I have a son who turned 18 in February. He has been using drugs & alcohol since he was around 14 years old. Prior to that he was an A student, very bright, friendly, & outgoing. Around 14 he began cutting school, his grades went down, lying, cheating, stealing from us, etc. We went from the regular high school, to a continuation school, back to regular high school, to independant study program just to make sure he has a diploma. He finally just dropped himself out of school since he's now 18. We have given him so many chances to work things out, but always making him responsible for his choices/actions. He has smoked pot in our house and stole our alcohol. We have to live with things locked up like a jail or prison. Once we were supposedly "burglarized" while he conveniently went to school that day (the only day of the week). Somehow there were no forced signs of entry and the items taken were in very specific spots like someone knew where they were or were told where they were. He had several close calls with law enforcement, but unfortunately nothing scared him enough to make him change his ways. We even tried to find out why he wasn't arrested on these instances as it was not setting a good example for him. Two weeks after his 18th birthday he was arrested for auto theft & receiving stolen property. The car was stolen by his friend who was on juvenile probation and my son thought since he didn't have a criminal record he would take the blame for it and they would let him go (and I believe this, because these are the types of stupid things he does without thinking). Anyway, they didn't let him go and he stayed in county jail for 5 days and begged us to bail him out, but we wouldn't. He ended up pleaing to a reduced misdemeanor charge and getting 60 days of work project picking up trash & doing yard work. Last week we had it with him. He stole a bottle of wine from our house. Then he had friends over when we specifically told him not to. The next day our neighbors called and said they saw 4 boys & 1 girl go into our house in the morning and it looked suspicious. So my husband called the house (naturally the son wouldn't answer the phone) and told everyone to get out. Then he called our son's cell phone to tell him that he needs to leave our house and is not welcome back until Monday after we get home from work (today). When he got home to check on the house, there was a marijuana smell in our son's room. He packed the son's clothes in a trash bag and placed them outside the front door, leaving a message for our son to pick them up. It has been a hard weekend, but we are being strong. This is the straw that broke the camel's back as the saying goes. We have repeatedly warned him if he does not live my our rules then he'd have to find somewhere else to live once he turns 18. We know all about tough love, detachment, etc., but that doesn't make it any easier. But I am so grateful to have a wonderful sounding board just to share these frustrations and realize I'm not alone. My husband and I have been married almost 18 years and we also have a daughter who is 13 1/2. She is a great kid, but I wonder how this is affecting her. She says it doesn't bother her too much, but I'm not sure. The one thing we always talk about it using our son's bad choices as life lessons and how they cause pain in a family. I just can't help but wonder if he is going to try to come home tonight since that was the deadline we left him. Thanks for listening (it feels a little better to vent).