I'm new here - and still getiing used to the site. The site came highly reccommended. This has been a long time coming, and I can't seem to figure out how to handle it. I, being a primary "step parent" figure to Buzz and wheezy, of course look out for whats best for them. Woody, was in a relationship with their mother Sensory Integration Disorder (SID) for 8 years. Sensory Integration Disorder (SID) was a cheater, a liar, and very mentally and well as on occasion physically abusive towards woody. never the boys, luckily. Woody has since been walking on eggshells around Sensory Integration Disorder (SID), and very passive. Sensory Integration Disorder (SID) decides when woody and I can and connot se or have the kids, and it seems to be more cannot than can. (woody presently waiting for court date on the matter). Sensory Integration Disorder (SID) is set in her way to push both myself, and woody, their father, out of the kids lives. With Sensory Integration Disorder (SID), Wheezy is most frequently pushed aside when it comes to the kids, and Buzz tends to be favored in most situations, even though wheezy should be getting more attention in many ways. Weezy was caught (3) times, stashing and not completeing his school work - Sensory Integration Disorder (SID) sent a letter (with wheezy) to take to the teacher. Needless to say the teacher never got it. Wheezy doe not get the help he needs in school - and Sensory Integration Disorder (SID) does not care to get him the help he needs. He is extremely impressionable and Sensory Integration Disorder (SID) and her family do not teach the general "goods" and "bads". Sids stepfather is very open about fire arms and weapons, which woody and I try to keep in line when he is with us, but because Sensory Integration Disorder (SID) rarely let us see them, I feel that Wheezy is too mezmorized by weapons, and guns, and killing things, (video games do not help either). We have noticed as of late that everytime Wheezy gets excited about something he yells out "Oh, man I could kill myself!" I don't know how this can be taken from any other situation than someone is saying this at home, and it is not being addressed. As of this morning, Sensory Integration Disorder (SID) and Woody met for a court date on Child support, where Sensory Integration Disorder (SID) was caught in (2) lies, one in regards to back payment, and one in regards to us not helping with the children and buying them clothes, and school supplies as needed. - Thank goodness that was all figured out! Everytime we buy them anything, they tell us - "I wanna keep this at your house, because mom will throw it away. She actually threw away a mothers day gift we brought them to get for her. in front of them. as well as a christmas card we gave her with the boys pictures. My question being - Not being the biological parent. I have little to no say in what happens at school, or at Sensory Integration Disorder (SID)'s home. Is there anything we can over-ride her on when it comes to school work? do we have say? and if not, how do I go about detaching myself from this situation, and not letting it get to me as bad. I would do absolutely anything for this little buy, and I see myself and all the difficulties I went through at his age (school, and add, focusing wise) that it absolutely rips me apart. I don't want wheezy to go down the wrong path, although all things considered, it looks like that is happening. I feel helpless. what can I do?!