not quite sure what to do

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by mavh2005, Feb 6, 2011.

  1. mavh2005

    mavh2005 Member

    difficult child has ben pretty bad this weekend. It started on Friday @ the dentist. She growled & snarled @ the dentist. I put blame on both ggg & the dentist. The dentist was new to us and didn't bother reading her chart to see that difficult child has issuses & had dental problems in the past. They refused to fill her 3 cavities & said " she needs a pefiatric dentist who will give her balloons & toys" of course I was beyond livid. She kept comparing difficult child to easy child which I'm sure didn't help. We will not be going back there.

    difficult child has had no medications this weekend. ( thank you insurance company). difficult children mom had some leftover & she did give husband two pills.. we chose to hold them for school this week. difficult child has been mouthy & defiant this wg,hole time. I was in her room putting away clothes because she once again refused to do it. I had found tons of clothes just thrown afound & stuffed into various bags. Got them all together & difficult child is doing laundry right now. But while I was in her room, she went ofg. Screaming crying then she decided I " was tresspassing in her room" she tried to physically make me the process of that, she left bruises on mh arm. Still hurts now. Feels like a burn. She shows no remorse & I've gotten no apology.

    I know some of this is due to no medications, but how can I make her realize her actions are not acceptable. This is the first time in about 6 weeks we've had anything like this... I'm at a loss. difficult child's therapist isn't muuch heelp. We had to switch tdocs in novemmber & she hasn't gotten anywheere with her. We have an appointment on Tuesday with her pediatrician. I hope something changes annd soon.
  2. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am sorry. SOunds like a rough weekend. Is she able to control herself with-o medications? Not everyone can. On weekends when Wiz had to go unmedicated we did what we could to put no expectations or demands on him but basic ones. But my kids wouldn't DARE to tell me I was trespassing in their rooms. They knew, and know, that they can think of them as their rooms but they do NOT own ANYTHING - husband and I do. If they want to use them and enjoy them, they have to take care of them, clean them, etc. Physically hurting me over going through their stuff would eman that I would clean anything that I don't want them to have out of their rooms when they are at school. Period.

    Call for transport to a psychiatric hospital next time she is violent and have her taken there. It is NEVER okay to hurt someone - PERIOD. You also may want to remove her door or lock her out of her room until she can behave more appropriately. medications or not, going off on you and leaving you bruised and hurting is NOT ACCEPTABLE. MAybe if the insurance has to cover a trip to the psychiatric hospital then they will be more willing to pay for her medications.

    Have you ever done "Stop the World"? Meaning that everything stops for her if she hurts someone - all privileges are lost and she can sit at the table until bedtime, or stay in her room with no tv, computer, electronics except for soothing music (classical is often good). Somehow you and husband need to get it through to her that regardless of the reason she just is NOT going to be allowed to hurt you - period.

    Also call the therapist and psychiatrist at their emergency numbers - it is why they have them. If you call the office # it will have directions to get ahold of the doctor in an emergency. Go ahead and do it about the violence, and again if it happens again. It will help them give the insurance co reasons why she needs teh medications - and will motivate them because they will want her stable so you don't call on the weekends!
  3. mavh2005

    mavh2005 Member

    I don't have emergency # s for therapist. I have them for her pediatrician ( no psychiatristc @ the momeent). One my frriends said to call the police butt I'm not sure about that. I took pics of my armm so depeending on what therapist sayys tomorrow, I may go to the police & let them deal.
    As for controlling herself with medications, it just depends. Her mom says shee can't but we've seen miced rresultts.
  4. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Sorry it has been such a difficult weekend. The violence is always the worst! I do know that my son unmedicated is completely unable to control himself. He is a different child unmedicated and it's scary! Hugs.
  5. mavh2005

    mavh2005 Member

    ok.. I'm at a regular computer now and can type correctly. ;)

    difficult child finally calmed down after I took easy child and went to my mom's home. husband brought difficult child to Mom's to have dinner and watch the Superbowl. Completley different kid. She was calm and polite. I don't get it. I understand she didn't have any medications this weekend. But all she takes now is Vyvanse. No mood stabilzer at all. BM is pushing the mood stabilzer though. difficult child still hasn't shown any remorse or apologized for leaving bruises on my arms. In fact, BM stopped by and she told BM I already had those bruises. Lovely. Now I"m the liar. BM said nothing. And husband did nothing. Urgh.

    Not quite sure where to go on the medication issue though. At our house, difficult child has been your typical 10 year old (as long as she's had her Vyvanse). At BM's, apparently difficult child is the complete opposite. BM did tell me that difficult child smacked her little sister so hard across the back of her neck she left a hand print... Obiviously, difficult child needs anger management. Her therapist is supposed to be working on that with her. But I get the impression she's not. I talked to therapist today and was not too happy when I got of the phone. difficult child has an appointment today, so we'll see what happens. We go to the pediatrician tomorrow for a medication check. Hopefully, we'll have more answers then.