Now a little bad -- Entitlement UGH!

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by meowbunny, Jun 2, 2008.

  1. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    I've posted some of the good stuff that's happened lately with my daughter, now I'll do some venting.

    As I said, her sense of entitlement is still way over the top. She really does need a car. I offered to help her buy a cheap one (under $1K) for now. Nope, not good enough.

    So, I took her some dealerships -- the good ones and the buy and drive ones. One recommended she open an account with a credit union, leave the funds in there for two months and then come back with a letter saying what they would be willing to give her on a loan. Having to wait two months was out of the question.

    Then we hit the drive and buy (yuck!). She was not too happy -- she thought she could get something for $59/down, $59/month. They had those deals but you had to have perfect credit and a job that paid a lot more than hers did.

    So, back to the CU idea. I offered to give her $1K to put in the credit union with the proviso that she was not to touch that money. "Well, what good is that if I can't touch it?" Um, it's MY money honey. I make the rules. Okay, she'll take it.

    When I tell her I want the account info so I can check it on line whenever I want, she went non-linear. If that was the case, she didn't want the money. I said fine -- go close the account. Believe it or not, she did! roflao Of course, a bit later she asked if she could have the funds so that she could ultimately get her car. I was nice and gave her the money. Now, I just have to pray that she'll keep her word and not touch the funds.

    Her sense of what she deserves really is incredible at times. I do understand that most kids have little sense of money, but she takes it to extremes and then gets really angry at me because I won't bail her out.

    Right now, she is wondering how she will pay her share of the rent. She hinted quite a bit about that. I kept silent and totally ignored her or patted her hand and told her I was sure she would find a way to pay it.
  2. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    Love that! It's so much more peaceful than delving into a discussion about financial responsibility. I'll keep that tactic in mind.
  3. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    LOL, "I'm sure you'll find a way"!

    Where is she putting this money you gave her? Just holding onto it? Here's hoping she does the right thing.
  4. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    You are awesome! I'm trying to do the same thing and I vent to everyone else - God forbid I let difficult child know how much her sense of entitlement bugs me!!

    My difficult child has no job, no prospects, and her car recently died, the rear axle broke (we had already taken it away by then anyway). So, she's put all her energy into finding herself a new car that she expects US to pay for. I do have a little over $1000 put aside to help her, but we've let her know that we won't help her until she helps herself, i.e., get a job and save some dollars. Yeesh - what is it with these kids?? Why do they feel so entitled?
  5. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    I think you've been very generous and handled it very well. Hope she "starts to crown" pretty soon! ;)
  6. Star*

    Star* call 911

    maybe it's not a good thing to mention a crown and sense of entitlement in the same post?

    Someone may want a car, a pony And a tiara!

    Bunnybritches - I have no idea how you do it but I'm proud of you!
  7. mary9461

    mary9461 trying to hang on

    Way to go. She is the only one with anything to lose here. Keep up the great work. You make us all proud!

  8. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    MB, I must be having a blonde/senior moment. Where did she put the money? Why did you give it to her when she refused your terms?

  9. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    She put it in the credit union. She did finally agree to the terms. Part of the reason why I'm doing it is to test her. It will be interesting to see how far she has come. If she does spend it, it won't be the end of the world. I can always sell her scooter and tv to get my money back. If she doesn't, I think I'll have to declare her a easy child (albeit a very immature one).