OH my gosh!

[rejectedmom]

difficult child called tonight and said that his block councilor said that if he could come up with a home plan he could get out Feb.14th. I don't know what to believe now. Just last week the prison social worker told me that they wouldn't let him out if he didn't complete the early release program and that difficult child wouldn't max out until Feb 2008. husband and I will have to sit down and discuss how much we are going to help difficult child get his plan in order. difficult child seems to want our input as well as our help. He asked us if we could help him find a sober house or group home. He doesn't have much access to a telephone. He said he was going to write his PO and ask her for a list and go to the prison library to see if he cold find the names and addresses of some places. He was so excited. I told him that we had different information and that he should check it out. I feel bad for him because his PO still hasn't returned our telephone call from before the holidays.

 

[amy4129]

RM-
Just once I wish that you would get a straight answer from someone. Instead of well, kind of, sort of...maybe not. Urgh! I don't know how any of thses people expected us Moms to make a plan, have a life and take care of our difficult children when the facts change in a fraction of an instance.
I hope you can get get a straight answer soon. Thinking of you and praying you can make a great plan that you, husband and difficult child can live with.
Amy

 

[rejectedmom]

thanks Amy. I am searching and searching the internet for places for him and not comming up with anything appropriate. I doubt we'll be able to put anything together in four weeks. -RM

 

[Wiped Out]

RM,
How frustrating for you to not being getting straight answers. Sending good thoughts your way! Many hugs.

 

[LittleDudesMom]

RM,

Must be so frustrating to not get straight answers, not to mention the roller coaster difficult child is on. Hope you can get tings straightened out soon.

Sharon

 

[rejectedmom]

Wipedout and Littledudesmom, Yes it is frustrating and scary. I have heard stories of people just being let out with no one on the outside even knowing about it. difficult child went in during the summer. He doesn't even have appropriate clothes for the weather. The prison is about 45 minutes from here. Some planning is necessary both from him and from us. -RM

 

[timer lady]

RM,

I'm sorry to hear that difficult child is having to fight a pretty non supportive system. How much influence do you have with the PO & others now that difficult child is legally an adult?

I'm keeping you & difficult child in my thoughts. It seems you're in a no win situation.

 

[rejectedmom]

Timer, Since the PO hasn't returned any of my calls since difficult child made the suicide gesture I am thinking I have little to no influence with her. I will call again today. I'll keep you all posted. Right now difficult child comming home to us is not an option. Unfortunately like others here we might have to concider it if we cannot find a place for him. He needs to be with others who will hold him accountable for his actions. Putting him into an apartment of his own is not going to do that so I am against that. I am here alone most of the time. husband works in a city about two hours from here. His is a long day. I would be left dealing with difficult child on my own for most of the time and I just do not want to do that again. A sober house in the community might be a good alternative. Then I could moniter difficult child and get him plugged into therapy and other services but not deal with him 24/7.

This is the scary part of having a difficult child in the prison system. They are not rehabilitated when they get out. They need services and are often blocked from them. In my difficult child's case, because of his violent rage last year he has an assault charge. Many of these places will not take him because of that. In addition the PO is going to put all kinds of requirements on difficult child's parole. He will not be able to meet them without a large amount of support. I read about all the problems others have had when their difficult children were released. I'd like to find something that works both for the sake of my family and so I can pass the info on to others here who might find themselves in the same situation. -RM

 

[amy4129]

RM-
I was making my brain work and came up with 2 possible ideas for housing. Salvation Army and the YMCA. Not the greatest but at the places near us some do run supervised housing and will have classes on anger management and such.
Still trying to think of ideas and sending good thoughts.
And as far as the PO goes everyone has a supervisor... :warrior:
Amy

 

[rejectedmom]

Thank you Amy. I will look into that. I have left another message at the PO. And also with the prison SW. -RM

 

[Lori4ever]

I agree that it seems like a no win situation. As far as calling the P.O., sometimes it takes many calls over and over. I have had that experience myself. Sad, but true.

 

[rejectedmom]

Thanks Lori. I have left over 6 messages since Christmas and she has yet to make a return call. So I called the general number and got the receptionist's voice mail. How ridiculous is that???????? I am actually considering going over there tomorrow and planting myself in her office until she speaks to me. -RM

 

[SearchingForRainbows]

RM

I haven't been in a similar situation (yet), so I really can't offer any advice. The closest I've come is watching difficult child 1 try to free himself from a police officer. He was put into the back of the police car and brought to the station. Although this brings back horrible memories, it doesn't even begin to compare with what you're going through.

Even though I don't have any suggestions or advice, I just want you to know that my heart goes out to you... I'm so sorry you have to go through this!!!

Please give us an update soon. I'm praying that everything works out ok for you and difficult child.

Take care of yourself. Hugs. WFEN

 

[rejectedmom]

Thanks WFEN, Five o'clock came and went so I realized that I'm going to have to get a bit more aggressive. If she doesn't call tomorrow I'll leave three messages a day on her answering machine every day until the end of next week. If she still hasn't called me I'll just go over there and plant myself in the waiting area till someone talks to me. It's just so annoying.-RM