Ok, next question

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by flutterbee, Dec 6, 2008.

  1. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    The memorial (not funeral, I'm assuming he was cremated) for my neighbor is going to be held at his house.

    So, seeing as how I'm completely ignorant on this subject, what do I bring? A covered dish? A platter? A pie?
  2. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts


    I'm sorry I missed the post on the death of your neighbor. Attire is whatever you are comfortable in & what you feel would honor your neighbor's life.

    Take whatever you feel the family might need. (Many times I've taken a veggie plate with dips & chess & crackers.)

    We've had 3 close deaths in my family over the years ~ sometimes we were inundated with food; however offers of cleaning up after the reception or taking charge of all the sympathy cards (many times they include cash memorials) if the funeral home hasn't taken care of that, are greatly appreciated by the family.

    The real need is a week or two after the funeral when many times cleaning out of clothing or personal affects need to be done. It helped to have someone not quite so close to the family there to help. Many times that person did nothing more than listen & make coffee time & again while we worked on things. There would be times that that very person would put a stop to things & make sure we ate while we worked. Just common sense things.

    I've been to every family funeral throughout my lifetime. I know that those closest to the departed appreciate many of the things I mentioned more than a casserole or dessert.
  3. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    Heather, the thing I remember from when my grandmother died was that a friend of the family took over writing the thank you notes. It helped tremendously and I've always remembered that with such fondness.

    I think Linda's suggestions are very good ones.
  4. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    It's probably ok if you don't take anything, unless you knew a family member well. But if you wanted to take something, a sandwich platter, small basket of fruit, small plant if there's one he really liked and a close family member knew that, just about anything, I would think.
  5. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    I missed logging on yesterday. I'm sorry about your neighbor. I know you will miss him. He was so nice to you. I would bring a dessert or covered dish, whatever you are able to make.
  6. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    You can bring whatever you're comfortable with. A covered dish, a dessert.......I like the Thank you note idea. A cousin of mine did that for my Uncle Tom when my Aunt Janet passed. No way could he have managed it.

  7. katya02

    katya02 Solace

    There are some great ideas here .... I would second (or third?) the idea of taking something a week or so later, when things have quietened down and yet there are still needs ... a casserole or a dessert would always be welcome. And offers of help will be appreciated and remembered.
  8. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    I'm with Loth. I would bring a dessert or covered dish too.