Ok, what do you call those kind of parents?

[GuideMe]

Well, I know a few parents in real life, who claim to be great parents and know what their kid are doing. They say all the right things such as "my child will be getting a great education" and do things and say things that parents are "suppose" to say, when in reality they are not doing it, and if they are, they are failing at it, but refuse to admit to anyone. For example, they see your teenager is on social media and they say " My child is not and will NEVER be on social media. It's not for kids or teenagers and my kids don't have a social media account anywhere!" and they say it so boastfully and arrogant such as, they are just saying it to impress you and make themselves look good and that is their only intention. Basically, they pump up themselves to be something they are not. The things they say are very cliche` and you can tell they are just saying it just because it sounds good, but they do not do what they say they do and then they have the utter nerve to stand in judgement over you. I hate that. I really hate that. And the people I am talking about here are not nice people. They are mean and known to cause a lot of drama.

Anyway, what do you call these types of parents? The easiest way, is to call them fake, willingly live in denial, and flat out liars. Even narcissistic. However, I need a little more in depth or different point of view or wording. I feel right now that I am not even explaining myself correctly on what I really mean. However, I need this explained to me and how to deal with these types of people. Yes I know ignoring it is the best way, but it's also nice to have a plan B.

Anyway, this issue isn't of urgent nature, obviously, so if you respond, it is more than greatly appreciated. Just looking for thoughts if you have any.

 

[GuideMe]

and you know what, as I am awaiting responses on my new post, I was just reading this one and it all came out not how I meant it at all. I meant to say the parents who do the complete opposite of what they say and lie and say they do everything. Just forget it, it doesn't even matter. I explained this very poorly and for that I am sorry. If the admin could delete this, I would greatly appreciate it.

 

[BusynMember]

GM, I met more parents who claimed perfection when their kids were younger. But none of them had the gall to lie and say "My kid doesn't use social networking." I mean, THEY used it. Of course their kids did!!!

 

[SuZir]

I know the type. I consider it to be a subtype of those parents who really do everything by the book. If those who have it all together (and are so willing to share that to also everyone else) are what we here call PP, Perfect Parents, I guess the people you are talking are 'Perfect Parent, wannabe-type.' I'm sure I would be able to find them a diagnosis number from ICD if I would really look (after all, there is a number for 'fall from tree' (W14 by the way.)) For treatment I recommend a good dose of having a difficult child child. But because they often don't consider there is anything amiss in them, it is often better not to try to treat their ailment. In that case I recommend OEI-OEA (one ear in- other ear out) management method for those unfortunate who has to deal with them.

 

[SuZir]

Oh, and if you can't stomach them and just ignore, you can always beat them with their own weapons. For example social media:

"Isn't it awful how some parents neglect teaching their children to handle the world? They don't bother to teach them skills they need in nowadays adult world. It is so easy to just forbid children from for example using social media, but what do they do, when kids leave home? They will be totally unprepared to use of it and how important it is in today's world. Poor kids, who have such a lazy parents that they do not teach them skills they will need to survive adult world."

 

[2much2recover]

I would call them people who live ins self-deception.

 

[greenstockings]

I know what I would call them, but I can't post it here.

Also, if there isn't a good reason that you have to associate with these folks, then don't. They're toxic.

 

[KTMom91]

When Miss KT was at her worst best, I used to get "the looks" like "Why can't you control your child?" and man, was it hard to take on top of everything else that was going on. Now, she's doing as well than or better than those other kids...she finished college, she's holding a job, she's been married nearly two years...

There are a lot of so-called perfect parents out there, and they will never understand because they are in denial.

 

[InsaneCdn]

GM... I guess you can see that we know what you mean. It's even worse when those "perfect parents" are your own - and you know full well that the weren't nearly so perfect...

 

[greenstockings]

I remember being in a doctor's office about 20 years ago. There was a woman with a kid who was 4-5 years old. The kid was having a tantrum and wouldn't get up and walk. She picked him up by the back of his overalls and carried him like a suitcase. He was screaming and flailing.

This other woman who was standing by with her teenage daughter said, "People who can't control their kids, shouldn't have them."

My own son was 3-ish at the time and had been flying his difficult child flag since birth, so I wanted to punch the woman in her smug face.

(Zeke threw his first actual angry fit when he was five months old and I tried to remove something dirty from his tight little fist....he screamed and bucked and kicked his legs. I didn't know infants could get mad like that.)

 

[dstc_99]

Lol the kid in Michaels having a breakdown yesterday was hilarious. I bet he really though he was gonna win something for that performance. Unfortunately all he got were some nasty stares. The mom completely ignored him. Good for her. Plus she refused to look put down by the stares. I was happy for her since his behavior most likely had nothing to do with her being a bad parent.

My only comment was that husband acts the same way when I take him shopping for too long. Lol

 

[nlj]

I think I'd just call them 'people with poor parenting skills' and then ignore them.

 

[hhi]

I understand what you mean @GuideMe. I see this all the time. Some folks want to remain in denial. Don't know why they do, but it's not worth wasting your energy on them.

If the person is someone you don't have to see regularly be polite and just disengage. If it is someone you do have to see regularly develop a thick skin -- for your own sake.