Okay---I messed up big time

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by everywoman, Sep 26, 2008.

  1. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    As you know pcdaughter is currently as basic. How in the world drama can surround her without her even being involved at all is unbelievable.

    Now this is confusing, so bear with me...cause I just got to sort it all out for my own benefit.

    Daughter "dated" a young man for about 9 months---it was a long distant relationship as he is about 20 hours away. He came down to visit about once a month. She met him through D who is my foster daughter's biobrother.

    D and daughter are best friends. Have been for years. He introduced her to M. M seemed to be a nice guy---but moved too fast and before she went to basic, daughter broke up with him.

    Several weeks ago, nostalgia must have taken hold and she wrote and asked for pictures---including ones of her and M. Apparently she also wrote M a letter. M called my niece (who she and M hung out with on his visits) and told her that he and daughter were back together. I really don't care either way, it is her life.

    Here's the kicker. Cousin went to comment on his myspace page. He has as a top friend another girl from my very small hometown. She is the sister of D's finace. (okay I warned you this is confusing.) This is a girl who has gone after 3 or daughter's exbf's while daugther was dating them. There are some serious issues with my family and this girl.

    Cousin called him back and he told her that he had been talking to another girl, but it wasn't serious. That he wants a relationship with daughter. Again---none of my business.

    This has been going on for the past five days. M says other girl is stalker, obssessed and has hacked his page. Message keep appearing on other girls page from M stating he loves her---(Is this soap oprea enough for you) Cousin and Fosterdaughter are calling me all upset---

    Last night I noticed his mom online. I contacted her and asked if she was aware of any of this and to maybe get some clarification so I could stop the madness before daughter gets home. She told me she didn't care. That it is none of our business. Now I feel stupid for contacting her.

    I don't care about the relationship stuff....I do care if this guy is playing with my daughter's head when she is facing losing her dream and another surgery and long recovery. She doesn't need this drama on top of everything else.

    I tried to explain that our family really likes M. If he and daughter don't date--it's not important---but he and his family are not from my town and I know who and what this girl is. She is a big drug addict. She has a 7 year old child who was taken from her. She goes from man to man trying to find someone to support her. She has no education. I know this because she also was with difficult child when he was using heavy drugs. She has caused a lot of problems with my daughter and my family in the past.

    If you made it to here---Thanks----I'm still mad at myself and worried about daughter at the same time. I know I need to stay out of it---but I don't want things to escalate when daughter finally comes home.
  2. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    JMHO- I'd give your daughter a "heads-up", then let her deal with it as she chooses.
  3. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    Ok. IF I get things right...stay out of it. She is an adult. It's painful to watch things unfold like this, but she needs to learn to do it herself.

    I wouldn't visit Myspace. I wouldn't entertain the other mother. Let them have their own drama. You don't need it.

  4. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Hmmm...I think I made it through it all. Sounds like a juicy episode for All My Children.

    Definitely drama that I hope goes away soon.
  5. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    Honestly, it's none of your business. If your daughter wants to talk to you about it, great, then the door is open. Otherwise, stay out of it. Your daughter was strong enough to walk out of it once. They're still a good distance apart. Something tells me she can handle it and, if she can't, you're there to prop her up and help her.
  6. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Yeah - this is another one of those - HERE'S what I DID NOT want to know but will pass on to you daughter moments.

    If you are worried about the girl stalking your daughter from 20 hours away.....I'd say she's pretty safe. She can work it out with M and both of them make new pages where the other troll wont see it.

  7. janebrain

    janebrain New Member

    But how did you mess up, big time? I don't think you messed up, I just think you need to stay completely out of it now.
  8. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Drama. Big Time. I'd give your daughter the head's up and drop it.

    She's an adult and can sort it out for herself. To daughter, after basic and all the stuff she's had to deal with, this will mostly likely seem petty and juvenile.

    You don't need this drama. (why do young people do this stuff?? sheesh)
  9. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    " ... and he told her that he had been talking to another girl, but it wasn't serious."

    You do know that at this age, when they say they're 'talking to' someone, they don't mean that they're just chatting on the phone ... they mean that they're seeing this person - they have a relationship.

    I agree with the others though. Your daughter is an adult. It's hard to do but just give her a heads up and let her handle it her own way.
  10. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I agree ... just a tiny heads up, then you're on your way. I feel for you and your daughter.
  11. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    Just a quick reply---
    Stalker girl is not 20 hours away----she is less than 5 minutes. She has been a spur in pcdaughters side for the past 4 years in 3 other relationships.
    Exbf is 20 hours away---he could not have "seen" this girl at all. He is on-call and can not be more than 1 hour from base.
    Daughter does not know all this and I will not tell her on the phone or in a letter unless she asks or says something about him to me. She has enough to deal with---I'll post in another post.
    I am staying out of it. But.....I'm still mad as heck!!