You looked at the long list of everything that has happened in the last 15 months and said where is the one for all the good things that happened during that time.....10 Pages of legal paper and I'm not even done with all the good that I have had during that time. WOW!! It's amazing how some of the issues caused growth for all of us. The gratitude for all the love we got from the pets that have past on. And what a blessing it was to get to be chosen as their earthly family. We've has so much fun and so much love with them that it's okay to go through a little pain to have had that joy. husband & I have been able to reach a different step in our parenting roles. We are learning to let go and let our kids live their lives and to let them deal with the consequences. We've been teaching them that we will ALWAYS love them no matter what mess they find themselves in. And that you can talk to us and we will try hard not to judge....just offer a should/advice/an ear to hear.... whatever it is that they need. I'm starting to see and learn that whether people like me or not doesn't change me. I'm still the same me that I will always be. And just because I try hard to accept everyone for who they are and try hard not to judge, doesn't mean that everyone is that way. But no matter what, I still have all the joy from the times when we were together. That can't be taken away. And I still love these people even if they no longer want me. My Heart was a wake-up call and one that I'm actively taking care of. I've lost 30 pounds since last year. And I've research a ton of different sites to see what works for me. Turns out that medicine isn't a one-size-fits-all thing. what works for one, might not work for another. For me, I've found out that if I can keep my blood sugar level - without a lot of highs and low - my heart doesn't bother me. And my mood is very stable. My problem is that I went back to eating sugar and starches for Easter and haven't stopped. So now, my moods and heart are paying for my actions. I have my doctor run blood tests every 6 months to watch for changes. I am being active about taking care of me. Somewhere during the last 15 months I developed my own mantra based on the serenity prayer that I use a lot. - give me the strength to control the things I can control - give me the ability to let go of the things I can't control - And the wisdom to know that the only thing I can control are my actions/reactions to the life around me. Even though Aunt J's health problems and her house burning down were tragic things...It was a blessing for me. I got Miss Blossum!!!! She's a lab/pitbull/chow mix. She is the most wonderful dog ever. Only dog I know that will have a staring contest with you and win! She's totally loyal and a big time lover. If it wasn't for Aunt J's misfortune - I'd be missing out on a lot of joy! But the BIGGEST Blessing out of the last 15 months is that I have been surrounded by love of friends and family. I've had my board family that has held my hand - even if they weren't aware that they were doing it. Just reading posts and being connected has made me feel comfort and love. My parents have been there for me whenever I needed a shoulder to lean on or someone to talk to. And then there is husband who has been by my side every second of the last 15 months. He's been my rock, my comfort, my best friend. THANK YOU STAR!! Doing the notes for the other side has really helped. I knew I had a lot of blessing but until I actually wrote them down, I didn't know just how many blessing I have. So maybe I need to focus more on the good and it won't bother me if my bra doesn't want to hook or if someone takes my parking space. I was listening to a podcast where the instructor was saying that if you are feeling good, you will attract things that will make you continue to feel good. If you feel frustrated/angry/hateful/jealous, you will attack things that will continue making you feel that way. My new list is making me feel really good so lets see how many good feeling things I can attach today!