Marguerite
Active Member
difficult child 1 stayed with friends last night. They are also friends of easy child 2/difficult child 2's exBF. You may remember, the split was not gentle. ExBF's mates had resented easy child 2/difficult child 2 as a group of males WILL resent the first female who splits up the group and makes one of their number less available. The relationship had been struggling, mainly because both of them were far too immature for a serious relationship; complicated by his lack of parenting by his mother, who really was very neglectful. Passive-aggressive control freak who would leave him to his own devices sometimes for days at a time and without him knowing where she was or when she was coming home. Not a good way to grow up. His only company was two dogs - he really was the boy raised by wolves.
As a result, he had been using emotional blackmail a lot on easy child 2/difficult child 2 and she didn't take kindly to it. He kept putting her in a mother role and she could never properly extricate herself from it. Unhealthy. He also tried to control easy child 2/difficult child 2, as he could never control his mother.
So they split - he egged on by his 'mates' who got him drunk one night and had him blog about her very unkindly over the 'Net.
At that time easy child 2/difficult child 2 was already friends with BF2. I think he had seen the writing on the wall and was biding his time. And now, two years later, easy child 2/difficult child 2 and BF2 are engaged.
Last night, difficult child 1's friend and friend's girlfriend rang exBF to tell him. He seemed OK with it, but when they rang again an hour later, he was a mess, apparently. He asked that easy child 2/difficult child 2 not be told he knows, and certainly not be told he's upset.
ExBF is into animé and manga (as are difficult child 1, easy child 2/difficult child 2, BF2 and the friends - it's how they all met). ExBF is a very talented artist, very bright lad and has just published his first manga comic book. difficult child 1 brought home a copy. And when I looked at it - he's drawn easy child 2/difficult child 2. To the life. Same figure, same face, same hair. And the name of the character - it's very close to her name. The personality of the character - it's the darker side of easy child 2/difficult child 2, still cutting, still talking of suicide, still temperamental. The male character - it's exBF's alter ego, complete with the "raised by wolves" thing. It's building as a series, with this comic being the first episode. Clearly he's building to a relationship with these characters, although likely a very bizarre and sick relationship (by Western terms) as you often get in manga.
Now, it could be argued that because easy child 2/difficult child 2 looks so much like a typical manga female, this is pure coincidence. We don't think so.
We're definitely not telling easy child 2/difficult child 2 or BF2, I think it would upset them and/or make them angry, with nothing positive coming out of it.
On one level, it's a non-issue. He's simply drawing on his own life experience to create a fantasy. But on another level - I think he is preferring his fantasy to reality, somehow dreaming that if he can win the girl in the manga, he still has what it takes to win the girl in reality. And now they're engaged he's not coping with this reality.
I'm not sure what to do. Certainly, not tell the kids - that goes without saying. But is he going to become a problem again? Is he going to be stalking from a distance? Is he going to get more desperate in the plot of his manga? After all, if he is successful, then word will spread. He will be peddling this at the conventions where easy child 2/difficult child 2 and BF2 attend.
I'm not sure what to think, I'm concerned, worried, feeling very uncomfortable about this. I am worried that he is one very sick puppy.
Marg
As a result, he had been using emotional blackmail a lot on easy child 2/difficult child 2 and she didn't take kindly to it. He kept putting her in a mother role and she could never properly extricate herself from it. Unhealthy. He also tried to control easy child 2/difficult child 2, as he could never control his mother.
So they split - he egged on by his 'mates' who got him drunk one night and had him blog about her very unkindly over the 'Net.
At that time easy child 2/difficult child 2 was already friends with BF2. I think he had seen the writing on the wall and was biding his time. And now, two years later, easy child 2/difficult child 2 and BF2 are engaged.
Last night, difficult child 1's friend and friend's girlfriend rang exBF to tell him. He seemed OK with it, but when they rang again an hour later, he was a mess, apparently. He asked that easy child 2/difficult child 2 not be told he knows, and certainly not be told he's upset.
ExBF is into animé and manga (as are difficult child 1, easy child 2/difficult child 2, BF2 and the friends - it's how they all met). ExBF is a very talented artist, very bright lad and has just published his first manga comic book. difficult child 1 brought home a copy. And when I looked at it - he's drawn easy child 2/difficult child 2. To the life. Same figure, same face, same hair. And the name of the character - it's very close to her name. The personality of the character - it's the darker side of easy child 2/difficult child 2, still cutting, still talking of suicide, still temperamental. The male character - it's exBF's alter ego, complete with the "raised by wolves" thing. It's building as a series, with this comic being the first episode. Clearly he's building to a relationship with these characters, although likely a very bizarre and sick relationship (by Western terms) as you often get in manga.
Now, it could be argued that because easy child 2/difficult child 2 looks so much like a typical manga female, this is pure coincidence. We don't think so.
We're definitely not telling easy child 2/difficult child 2 or BF2, I think it would upset them and/or make them angry, with nothing positive coming out of it.
On one level, it's a non-issue. He's simply drawing on his own life experience to create a fantasy. But on another level - I think he is preferring his fantasy to reality, somehow dreaming that if he can win the girl in the manga, he still has what it takes to win the girl in reality. And now they're engaged he's not coping with this reality.
I'm not sure what to do. Certainly, not tell the kids - that goes without saying. But is he going to become a problem again? Is he going to be stalking from a distance? Is he going to get more desperate in the plot of his manga? After all, if he is successful, then word will spread. He will be peddling this at the conventions where easy child 2/difficult child 2 and BF2 attend.
I'm not sure what to think, I'm concerned, worried, feeling very uncomfortable about this. I am worried that he is one very sick puppy.
Marg