OMG - a car

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Kjs, Apr 15, 2009.

  1. Kjs

    Kjs Guest

    difficult child was at a friends. A car just dropped him off. His friend was driving. He just got his license. This is really hard for me. He turned 14 in January. His classmates are all beginning to drive and this scares the carp out of me.

    How do we handle this? I know the law states a teen driver can only have one other teen in the car. However nobody abides by that law.

    We did talk with him about being in a car when someone is driving unsafe. To ask to get out. Anywhere, anytime and call us. We would come get him. Anywhere. Even have a neighbor lady who has agreed to do this in the event he is afraid to call us.

    This is a really big step.
  2. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    That is a hard one. You don't want your kids in a vehicle with an inexperienced driver and you don't want your inexperienced driver carting around other kids. I almost wished there was a law of no non-family passengers until you have had your liscense for one year. I know that would put a curb on a lot of get togethers and shopping trips but the lives undamaged and saved would be worth it. The liability you face and the guilt your kid would face if anything happened while they were behind the wheel is enourmous.

    I think I would talk to the parents of the kid behind the wheel and ask if they were comfortable having other kids in the car. Will they reply, "Yes, my child is a good driver." or "No, it made me nervous but kids have to have this chance to grow." Ummm let the kid grow without my child in the car thank you!
  3. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    This is so hard. Its one of those issues that is so difficult to discern how much is being overprotective...they do have to learn; then again, they need to be safe about it and a time in their lives that few kids really understand their mortality. Its hard.

    Guess I'd be inclined to make a judgement call on each driver. But I really dont know your difficult child.
  4. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    In our state, until you are 18, you are not allowed to have anyone under the age of 20 in the car alone with you for the first 12 months you are driving. You also may not drive between the hours of 11pm and 5am. If your parents write a note for special circumstances, these rules may be waived (depending on the circumstances).

    I'm scared to death, too, since difficult child 1 turns 15 1/2 in less than a year. No way will he be ready for this huge responsibility. No way will his MOM be ready for it either!
  5. eekysign

    eekysign New Member

    I'm so glad these rules weren't in place when I was growing up. We had learner's at 15, so drive-only-with-a-parent-in-the-car for a year, then full license at 16.

    Without those extra years of driving on my own, I would have been a wreck (ha, no pun intended) learning when I was what, 17-18? In college? Yikes! All the kids I knew that didn't learn to drive until 18 or so were HORRIBLE drivers...wonder why? My parents made me ridiculously nervous when they were in the car, it only became comfortable and natural once they weren't there anymore. Heck, they STILL make me nervous! :)

    On the other hand, I never, ever, ever want Sis to be driving. She's too anxious and spazzy. Oh god no.
  6. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Our state has a similar set of rules regarding non-related passengers... And I'm going to disable the radio! The first time they get caught on the cell phone, they lose their keys for a month. The second time, theyn lose their license till they are 18. If my parents had enforced like this (though I did not have a cell phone, just a radio/cassette player) I might've missed that corn field!