BusynMember
Well-Known Member
So I've always said that my dad is ok in my book, although he is definitely a narcissistic, but at least he doesn't treat me different than the other kids. Well, maybe now he will...lol. I could be on the way to my second disinheritance. I don't care.
This was the conversation that lead to my saying calmly, "You can't talk about my family that way. Call me back when you can be nice."
Dad: So is Geoff going to marry Julie?
Me: No. They can't. He'd have to pay too much in insurance.
Dad: That's horse (fill in the blank)
Me: (trying to stay calm) No, it is. That's a reason a lot of people don't get legally married.They've been together and true to one another for eleven years. That's not fair or nice.
Dad: (interrupted me) No, it's horse (fill in the blank) and he's just a piece of (bathroom reference) and then more abuse on and on and on.
And then I told him not to call until he can be nice and hung up.
You do not hang up on Dad. He may never call you again.
I'm so sick of my family of origin I could scream. Just when I'm over the loss of my sister and her betrayal THIS happens. Yes, he's ninety, but he's of sound mind. This is how he ha talked all my life. Do I let it go because of his age?
No. I'm not going to call and apologize. For what? H anging up on his mightiness? He deserved it, in my opinion. I don't care about his dang inheritance.
I've been poor so long I'm used to it...lol. His inheritance would just mess with my benefits anyway (this is the truth).
I want to go to an Al-Anon meeting soooooooooooooooo badly, but don't think there is one tonight. I'm going to look around. If not, there is one first thing in the morning tomorrow and you bet your bottom dollar, I will be there.
I feel so sick and disgusted. I have to face that THIS is my father. He never apologizes, never thinks he says anything wrong, never is wrong. He is a total narcissistic and if you see it in the dictionary, his face is pasted next to it.
I just called to see how he was. He told me my brother was coming in. I told him that didn't mean anything to me, and maybe that set him off.
I think I may need to let him go too. It seems wrong to let go of somebody who is ninety and who, at times, did help me out, at least with small bits of money, although every single time he did he screamed at me first. And we're talking $100 here and there, not thousands. I should never have taken a dime.
Jumper came home and I gave her a hug and she asked what was wrong and It thought about not telling her, although she knows about the family. I did tell her. She is a young woman now.
I feel like calling him back and getting in a last shot, but that is so childish and so wrong.
I feel like being hypnotized so that I can forget my family of origin and think I was an orphan.When I was a kid I used to fantasize that these weren't my real parents or family and that I'd find out one day. It's kind of the reverse of being adopted. I WANTED to be adopted so that I didn't have to claim them.
What was this really about?
I set a boundary. And I'm not going back. He has been talking this way to me all of my life. It's over.
Now watch him have a heart attack and my sibs will blame me, only I'll never give them a chance.
And I doubt he cares about me enough to have a heart attack over a tiff with me.
They are all so vile. I asked Jumper if I ever treated her or her siblings badly and she shock her head hard and said, "NEVER."
Thank God I at least learned how NOT to parent.
And maybe that is why I'm here on earth this time...to learn how to love from the family that diedn't know how. I believe we pick our parents and our journey. And I sure have learned a lot!!!!
This was the conversation that lead to my saying calmly, "You can't talk about my family that way. Call me back when you can be nice."
Dad: So is Geoff going to marry Julie?
Me: No. They can't. He'd have to pay too much in insurance.
Dad: That's horse (fill in the blank)
Me: (trying to stay calm) No, it is. That's a reason a lot of people don't get legally married.They've been together and true to one another for eleven years. That's not fair or nice.
Dad: (interrupted me) No, it's horse (fill in the blank) and he's just a piece of (bathroom reference) and then more abuse on and on and on.
And then I told him not to call until he can be nice and hung up.
You do not hang up on Dad. He may never call you again.
I'm so sick of my family of origin I could scream. Just when I'm over the loss of my sister and her betrayal THIS happens. Yes, he's ninety, but he's of sound mind. This is how he ha talked all my life. Do I let it go because of his age?
No. I'm not going to call and apologize. For what? H anging up on his mightiness? He deserved it, in my opinion. I don't care about his dang inheritance.
I've been poor so long I'm used to it...lol. His inheritance would just mess with my benefits anyway (this is the truth).
I want to go to an Al-Anon meeting soooooooooooooooo badly, but don't think there is one tonight. I'm going to look around. If not, there is one first thing in the morning tomorrow and you bet your bottom dollar, I will be there.
I feel so sick and disgusted. I have to face that THIS is my father. He never apologizes, never thinks he says anything wrong, never is wrong. He is a total narcissistic and if you see it in the dictionary, his face is pasted next to it.
I just called to see how he was. He told me my brother was coming in. I told him that didn't mean anything to me, and maybe that set him off.
I think I may need to let him go too. It seems wrong to let go of somebody who is ninety and who, at times, did help me out, at least with small bits of money, although every single time he did he screamed at me first. And we're talking $100 here and there, not thousands. I should never have taken a dime.
Jumper came home and I gave her a hug and she asked what was wrong and It thought about not telling her, although she knows about the family. I did tell her. She is a young woman now.
I feel like calling him back and getting in a last shot, but that is so childish and so wrong.
I feel like being hypnotized so that I can forget my family of origin and think I was an orphan.When I was a kid I used to fantasize that these weren't my real parents or family and that I'd find out one day. It's kind of the reverse of being adopted. I WANTED to be adopted so that I didn't have to claim them.
What was this really about?
I set a boundary. And I'm not going back. He has been talking this way to me all of my life. It's over.
Now watch him have a heart attack and my sibs will blame me, only I'll never give them a chance.
And I doubt he cares about me enough to have a heart attack over a tiff with me.
They are all so vile. I asked Jumper if I ever treated her or her siblings badly and she shock her head hard and said, "NEVER."
Thank God I at least learned how NOT to parent.
And maybe that is why I'm here on earth this time...to learn how to love from the family that diedn't know how. I believe we pick our parents and our journey. And I sure have learned a lot!!!!