Out of control 15 year teen

Helpless29

Active Member
please help my son is 15, started messing with drugs 2 years ago, weed & Xanex, he can get very agrressive & scary . Hes been to therapy, behavioral facilities, got kicked out of two residential treatment centers for fighting, I dont know what to do, I have a 6 yr old, 2 year old & 18 year old daughter at home, Im scared for there safety , what do I do? Please help ! I called juvenille detention center & because he does not have a crimmal record they cannot help.Should I keep him out??
 
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Triedntrue

Well-Known Member
This is not an area i am as familiar with as my son is 36 years old. You might look into residential treatment centers. I am sure people will follow with better information but i wanted to welcome you to the site even though i am sorry you need to be here. If you haven't you might want to read a post under failure to thrive called 15 year old needs to leave our home.
 

Helpless29

Active Member
This is not an area i am as familiar with as my son is 36 years old. You might look into residential treatment centers. I am sure people will follow with better information but i wanted to welcome you to the site even though i am sorry you need to be here. If you haven't you might want to read a post under failure to thrive called 15 year old needs to leave our home.
Thank you, He did go to two different residential treatment centers & he got kicked out for fighting :( Thank you for welcoming me, I will look for the post you recommended. This forum is helping me not to feel so alone & helpless
 

ForeverSpring

Well-Known Member
in my opinion keep him in treatment but if he gets violent he probably should not be at home. Residential is good. Can you find one for high needs? Otherwise, is there a relative?

The younger kids need protection or CPS can be called and they may make him leave anyway. Has he been to rehab? Likely the illegal drugs are making him violent. Is he maybe meth or cocaine and you don't know it? We rarely know the whole of what our kids are using. I thought my daughter was just smoking.pot and that did not thrill me,but after she quit she tolde it had beeneth and cocaine plus crushing and snorting ADHd medications! I was shocked. Also she had been diagnosed with biolar while using drugs. But
She has been clean for years and obviously is not at all mentally ill. It was the drugs.

You can't accurately diagnose anyone with anything if they are using street drugs. The drugs mimic everything from bad anxiety to bipolar to schizophrenia. He must be clean for several months before he gets an accurate psychiatric diagnosis.
 
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AppleCori

Well-Known Member
Hi and welcome, H

Is your son violent in the home or in any way does he intimidate or threaten you or your other kids?

The next time he does anything that makes you or your children fearful of him or what he might do, call the police.

He must not be allowed to frighten or possibly hurt your very young children.

Does he attend school?
 

RN0441

100% better than I was but not at 100% yet
Hi and welcome;

My son went off the rails at 15 also and it started with weed. He is now 22 and in a long term faith based program and doing good. He has been in several inpatient and outpatient facilities for the past 7 years. You may have a long road ahead of you unfortunately. I think some of it has to do with puberty affecting them. Our son was a wonderful child and loved by all and then BAM, puberty. It turned him into someone I did not even know or want to know. It has been very painful for our family to say the least. Our older two had some bumps in the road but learned from them. Our youngest did not. It's hard to know what is in their head and why they feel that using drugs is the answer.

I would recommend finding a therapist that you can talk to about all of this. This is not normal parenting. Do you have a husband or someone that you can lean on? My therapist (I've gone through three) has helped me keep my sanity and create boundaries for us and him which has been very helpful. You have to stay strong because you can literally lose your mind dealing with this.

Keep posting and reading. You'll gain a lot of knowledge here from those of us who have been at it a while and you'll get a lot of support also.
 

Helpless29

Active Member
Hi and welcome;

My son went off the rails at 15 also and it started with weed. He is now 22 and in a long term faith based program and doing good. He has been in several inpatient and outpatient facilities for the past 7 years. You may have a long road ahead of you unfortunately. I think some of it has to do with puberty affecting them. Our son was a wonderful child and loved by all and then BAM, puberty. It turned him into someone I did not even know or want to know. It has been very painful for our family to say the least. Our older two had some bumps in the road but learned from them. Our youngest did not. It's hard to know what is in their head and why they feel that using drugs is the answer.

I would recommend finding a therapist that you can talk to about all of this. This is not normal parenting. Do you have a husband or someone that you can lean on? My therapist (I've gone through three) has helped me keep my sanity and create boundaries for us and him which has been very helpful. You have to stay strong because you can literally lose your mind dealing with this.

Keep posting and reading. You'll gain a lot of knowledge here from those of us who have been at it a while and you'll get a lot of support also.
Thank you for your story & knowing there may be hope,I do need to get a therapist because at this point I am emotionally drained.I do have a husbamd , he pratically raised my son, but at this point our marriage is in jeoporady beacause of all the drama with my son, it takes a toll on all of us. I am now trying to get him into another 40 day impatient program
 

RN0441

100% better than I was but not at 100% yet
Hi

Everyone that I have ever met during this journey with our son said to NEVER give up hope. Most of them were former addicts in recovery and now helping others, so they do know what they are talking about. As long as their is life, there is hope.

I know it can be extremely difficult at times and some days are worse than others. I find that I so many times have given it to my higher power - and then I take it back so I can worry some more lol - but in the end so much of what happens in life is out of our control.

My therapist continues to remind me that acceptance is a big part of what can give us peace. We have to accept what is for now. We do not know what tomorrow will bring.
 

Littleboylost

Long road but the path ahead holds hope.
Hi H
May son is now 18 but same age same drugs same behaviour as your son.

unfortunately I live in a country other than the USA so do not know your laws for juveniles.

You are right to protect your other children. We have no other children and I feared for myself.

My son in clean and clear moments said that the Xanax does this Crazy rage to then. When they are off and coming down is when the crazies set in.

I have lived it and as others here have. It is crazy and so hard to deal with.

I do hope you find a resolution and safety for all of you.

I agree didn’t lose hope but be firm and set strong boundaries in place.
 

Sam3

Active Member
Agree that drugs, puberty and mood disorders could all be contributing factors. It’s fascinating how many parents on the board mark 15 as the “really starting to go off the rails” age (and 19 as the”they really need to get out” age), at least for boys.

Is he seeing a psychiatrist? Is he already on medications? Ive read that rage issues can improve with atypical mood stabilizers (Abilify was one that I’ve seen mentioned). Many fellow parents have shared that it took a long time to find the right medications, but that they were shocked at the effectiveness when they did. And these kids had also been violent or on the verge at home and in school.
 

Helpless29

Active Member
please help my son is 15, started messing with drugs 2 years ago, weed & Xanex, he can get very agrressive & scary . Hes been to therapy, behavioral facilities, got kicked out of two residential treatment centers for fighting, I dont know what to do, I have a 6 yr old, 2 year old & 18 year old daughter at home, Im scared for there safety , what do I do? Please help ! I called juvenille detention center & because he does not have a crimmal record they cannot help.Should I keep him out??
.Update My son is now in a mental/ behavioral hospital , from there is will be transferred to a 30 day rehab, hes been calling to come home , as much as it hurts , I told him No , he got angry and hung up but at least I know hes safe & sober at least for 30 days.
 

BloodiedButUnbowed

Well-Known Member
Funny, 15 is when YS lost his mind as well.

He has changed entirely from when he was younger. 11 year old YS and 15 year old YS bear virtually no resemblance to each other.
 
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