overall update...... on both of my difficult children

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Jena, May 13, 2011.

  1. Jena

    Jena New Member

    so i figured i'd put all my junk in one...

    easy child verbally assaulted someone at school today and threatened them. i got a call from the dean because he was at a loss and said the other kids' parents are here are very upset and I don't know what to tell them. the other parents are afraid they'll be repurcussoins over the weekend. their afraid for their daughter due to my daughter. unreal right? the school isnt' allowing easy child to sign out also.

    the dean said, i wanted to ask you before i devulge any information regarding her not living at home anymore. so i ok'd it. she wasn't even at school today, she was dropped off by a friend than ran in and verbally went after some girl. anyway she is on a 5 day suspension etc.

    difficult child was not allowed to attend the dance at school. i fought long and hard during her last piece of iep testing today. i tried to compromise with them, allow her 40 min they weren't having it. even spoke to the district. needless to say she was very upset.

    mri i survived, waiting for my neurologist to call me with results yet their waiting on imaging place that was supposed to supposedly "rush" them over. there was alot of junk on it, they gave me a nice cd' with pics... yet i'm not a dr. so who the heck knows..... difficult child and i thought it was grose! there were like 4 really big white circles in my brain....... who knows all my intelligence??? :)

    so that's life and it in a nutshell. hope everyones day was good.
  2. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    Life just keeps on marching for you doesn't it?

    I wish I had some advise to help with easy child/difficult child.

    I am sorry difficult child could not attend the dance if even for a part of it. It is hard that she is missing our on a social event with her friends.

    I am not a doctor either so can not "read" the circles but I am for believing they are just marking your smart cells! Such large smart cells that the circles are huge! :) Hope you hear soon.

    I made it through the pelvic ultra sound and the endimotrial biopsy. They were not nearly as hard as I imagined. I didn't expect the part 2 of the pelvic ultra sound so that was weird.

    The biopsy is a cancer screen. I just found out from an aunt that two of my cousins have had cancerous issues and she believes my Great Grandma died of ovarian cancer so I am glad I am going through this right now. Amazing how relatives start sharing family history when one starts a few medical tests/procedures. The course I am on is not about cancer (more of a "we just need to rule this out" type of procedure) so I am not too concerned but it is nice to know that it should be kept an eye out for as I age.

    I am almost back to normal from the oral surgery and am planning on laying low this weekend. husband will go help Diva move some furniture from one apartment to another. I will wait until Memorial Day weekend to go down and help deep clean the apartment she is moving out of so we can get her deposit back.
  3. Jena

    Jena New Member


    the one brave soul that responded lol.... my popularity level has taken a hit too much bad news i guess :)

    i had one of those also done it wasnt' pleasant at all. glad it's over, you should rest this weekend. email me and fill me in on difficult child and how he is and puppy and diva wedding.

    i can understand the school's point of view on one hand, yet get difficult child's and my desire to have her of gone. they have to cover themselves with this, there is a level of liability if she went got overwhelmed and tmrw no food intake. their very nervous. good let them be though.

    pcgfg whatever she is. if she doesnt' get help soon her anger will land her in jail. maybe that'll be her "bottom". i'm not going there. i'm working on detatching, she's her own person. she has to own her choices and live them now.

    :) thanks for the support. i'm fine though..... as far as mri goes i'm having fun trying to read it. im sure it's fine it just has lesions which is what we were trying to locate.
  4. exhausted

    exhausted Active Member

    I just couldn't get on until now. I think its so hard to have words of comfort or to even know what to say. I hope the mri shows that those large areas are the normal part. I hope you can progress gracefully with this disease-that it wont be aweful. I do know that stress will make it worse. I'm so sorry (and have been) about you older girl. It hurts beyond belief to have your daughter do this, I know. At this age I also moved out of my home. My mother had just divorsed my dad after 22 years of marriage and my younger brother was giving her fits. She had to go to work for the first time in her life and it was unbearable to be home. Today, we have a decent relationship. I know it killed her to have me go-at the time I thought that she didn't care. Your girl will have a lightbulb moment.
    I do not know the story on difficult child not going to the dance, but how sad and hard. My daughter was left behind from a fieldtrip once because she did not have an assignment complete and it hurt me more that her.
    Please, please care for yourself and share, dont let lack of response scare you away. I've posted a few times and gotten no or few responses as well. But we need this place when things are bad. When things are good, we can cope without it. Thats my humble oppinion. Hugs!
  5. Jena

    Jena New Member


    i'm just playing' i have quite the sarcastic humor.... :) if you look at it glass half full.... getting the mri and knowing is a "good"thing i can now handle it. which is GREAT! i've searched for answers for over a year now. they said lyme, lung disease, r.a., lol. round and round i went. yet i did figure out they are lesions on my brain. i'm quite dingy at times. i looked up what do lesions look like than found the answer! so there are like 5 or 6 in perfect alignement, perfect balance 3 on one side 3 on the other. which makes sense......

    difficult child its' all good. we've been in and out of hospitals for an eating disorder for past several mos. she's fought her way back. this was a bit of a hit yet that's ok. point is we're getting there and thats' what counts! she'll be bck in school in no time!

    pcgfg whatever that crazy child of mine is..... it's good, let her hit rock bottom finally, they'll assuredly be more insanity yet at least she seems to be acting out well, after i finally did a real detatch from her. she can't get better till she goes all the way down.

    life is life and i'm learning to roll with it. that's really the point. so many here have given me some great "one liners" or advice that will play in my head like a tape recorder when im in the mist of it all and it truly helps! you will see, great place to be. been here for several years. i'Tourette's Syndrome like that old friend that you cannot talk to for a year yet pick up the conversation where you left off.

    as far as your daughter i concerned i think alot of times we as parents do not bounce back as quickly as they do! lol natural consequences are a good though to an extent it teaches them consequences/actions thing. for my difficult child it is what it is, the school had to cover their butts this time around. i flipped it and told difficult child that they care greatly for her and dont' want her to overwhelm herself.

    im glad you and your mom have a decent relationship. my daugther and i will also, it'll just take time and patience on my part.

    ((hugs)) thanks :)
  6. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    I just sent you an e-mail. It includes the address to Diva's photography website. If you do look at it, make sure you go into the older posts to view the pictures she took of a newborn baby girl. The "old man" picture at the end of the portraits and before her outdoor pictures is my husband. I love this picture - reminds me of the old man saying grace picture from years ago.

    Looks like we are getting our puppy this weekend so my days of rest and relaxation are over! :) LOL!!! I am excited!
  7. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Hey jena,
    Just wanted to give you a shout out and tell you I am thinking abut you.
    Seriously, giving all this recent cr@p in your life, are you see a psychiatrist for medications?
    Good god, if I were in your shoes i might need something.
    Hugs and many more,
  8. Jena

    Jena New Member

    andy got it, thanks!

    Steely no no medications so far. i'm managing...... i don't know how but i'm managing...... i dont' want to mess with medications till i get to see the neuro guy. i'll tell you steely the riding thing, even if i walk that horse and the gardening and watching movies, talking to husband late at night and venting is really helping alot.

    dont get me wrong i cried my way home the other day from riding when i couldnt' ride the horse i was like oh here we go....... it's all a bit much yet i'm struggling with every inch of me to stay focused on task and hopeful. what else can you do?? ya gotta run with-the everything happens for a reason right?

    i get up i'm like i can walk i'm healthy well ya know what i mean, than i see difficult child's cute face and her trying each day stumbling yet trying. steely i'm so thankful not to be in portland anymore. i often think of watching her in that hospital bed and my gratitude level increases almost immediately it was the scariest time for me. than i realize ok husband has the bills covered that could be a huge issue yet it's not. i may bash him and he isn't easy to handle yet he's mine. see my point? i'Tourette's Syndrome my daily mantra.

    i lack friends though our marriage counselor said jen you gotta find a way to get some ppl in your life again...... besides your family a phone call someone to talk to. i used to have a ton of friends yet life got crazy i stopped working and alot were work friends. so i've been like this little hermit socially which doesn't work well for me because as you can see i have alot to say LOL

    anyway i just rambled........
  9. shellyd67

    shellyd67 Active Member

    I was really hoping to see an update on how difficult child's dance went. I feel so bad she wasn't allowed to go. And as far as easy child's behavior ... SIGH ....
  10. Jena

    Jena New Member

    shelly i know me too. yet i told difficult child they care about you etc. thats why. she is going with her dad to coney island tmrw in brookly to go on rides and she's excited about that. shes' really good with-me when she's down and needs lifting up, it's hard to explain. yet as of late our relationship has been hard yet changed alot due to year we have had. at night she's still an absolute terror.

    easy child well what can i say? i can't go get her, can't change it, can't think about it or i'll go nuts. she's going down far down
  11. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am sorry that the school would not let difficult child go to the dance. in my opinion that is crazy. Did you try to call the Superintendent of schools to see if there is a policy on this? What reason did they give you? I think it is wrong to not let her in - just as I think home school students should be able to go to dances and activities at the local school. their parents pay taxes to support the schools just like the other parents.

    As for your oldest, you need to tell the school that she has to handle all of that herself. You are not her legal guardian anymore and she has chosen another family. The school needs to talk to her and the ohter family instead of you. it is policy at MANY schools that students cannot sign themselves out even if they are 18. It is a way of trying to keep parents involved and "in the loop" as to what their kids are doing. It also keeps a kid who is 18 and bored from leaving. many pcs will accept no if they hear it from the school and will go back to class. Not all, but that is what they are hoping for with this. Also some have sued the school if their 18yo signs out and is then in an accident they argue that the school is supposed to keep them there until they have graduated or dropped out.

    Next time they call about her, tell them that you have no info for them and that you cannot be involved because your daughter has demanded this. She is an adult and is able to push you out of her life and has, so now they must deal with her and the family she is living iwth. Don't let them tell you the problems and ask for your help. You cannot help in any real way and it just adds stress to your life that you really cannot afford. Having MS means you need to remove as much stress from your life as possible. This means doing all you can to NOT own problems like this. If you don't figure out how to have a life that is calm it is going to make the disease progress a lot faster than it might otherwise. Or this is what I have been told by friends with this disease. I don't just mean your physical life, find a way to learn to calm your thoughts. I know you have used meditation in the past, and it would be a very good thing. Also work on strategies to calm your mind with biofeedback, self hypnosis, etc... It can be super helpful.

    I know one mom had a stress eraser gadget. you put a finger in it and it would show a bunch of lights. As you slow your breathing the lights go out. If you search for stress eraser on amazon and ebay and google you will find one and can see what it is. Also search for other biofeedback gadgets.