Part three: Jumper's boyfriend saga: The possible dealbreaker

[BusynMember]

For anyone who is still interested, here is what is going on.

I did not go with Jumper to see J. play football last week. She went with two friends and J's stepmother stared at her the entire time. Jumper told her friends not to look at her.

Later in the week, Jumper wore her best friend's football jersey to her own school's game. They are like brother and sister. She put a picture of herself wearing the jersey on her FB page. J's loony stepmother looked at Jumper's FB page then sent messages to J. on HIS FB (because she sends letters and doesn't talk) telling him that Jumper likes another boy and here was the proof, blah, blah, blah. She was going to break his heart and she was only telling him for his own good....what a nut. I told Jumper to block her FB, but it kind of spooked me out that this stepmother bothered to look at all.

Just when things seem to be a bit smoother, step comes up with something new and her new thing now is that since J. comes to our house every other week, Jumper has to go to her house every other week. In spite of all the horrible things she has said about Jumper, and all the time she had to get to know Jumper (and didn't talk to her), she suddenly wants to get to know her. I smell something fishy. On top of that, she wants ME to drive her there. J. can't pick her up.

Maybe I'm being overprotective, but I told her there was no way she could go to that house until I spoke to this woman first and laid down the law. I'm not even sure THAT would do it for me. I want to be there while she is there. I don't trust this couple to keep my daughter safe. His house is out in the middle of nowhere, which is creepy to me too. I just can't let her go there alone.

Jumper backtracked a bit and told me that she isn't afraid of Step and that Step isn't psycho or anything. I told her, I thought she was unstable and whether she was scared or not, the answer is...no. Not without my conditions. Jumper, being a good easy child, did not argue with me about it, but I figure she will bring it up again later in the week.

I love this boy she's dating...they don't get any better...but I'm so done with his crazy parents. I hate having to deal with this. I know both kids genuinely like each other and are not having sex together. But I am ready to tell her that enough is enough.

I will write more as the story progresses. Right now, all is quiet. But my stomach is twisting. This is seriously giving me the creepos. I have never known anyone who does the batty things that SM does.

 

[TeDo]

I think you are right to be creeped out. She is really trying to destroy this boy. Poor kid. Any way that he can move in with you the day he turns 18. He deserves so much better. Wow, she is NUTS. I agree. If confronting her on Jumper's behalf makes you feel better, maybe that is exactly what the witch needs. I would think she she should be reported for emotional abuse! Wouldn't that show her.

Give Jumper a {{{{(((HUG)))}}}}} for me and I'll send you my armor. You might need two layers (or Jumper can use the other one. LOL)

 

[HaoZi]

Started a countdown until he's 18 clock yet?

 

[1905]

He can come to your house any time, I don't think she should go there. It's just too creepy, she stared at the kids the whole game? She is a loony tune, and doesn't like Jumper (or J), you can't trust someone like that with your child. She's weird!

 

[BusynMember]

He has an offer to stay with a friend in his school district when he turns 18. The family knows about him and feels sorry for him and his son is J's best friend. Things are looking up.

 

[TeDo]

I just hope he has the courage to do it. Not sure about laws so this might sound like a stupid question but is there any law that you know of that says he has to stay with his parents until he finishes high school? Like I said, might be a dumb question but just curious. Glad he he has a plan. Just keep Jumper safe, MWM. She sounds beyond creepy. (*shivers run down spine*)

 

[keista]

since J. comes to our house every other week, Jumper has to go to her house every other week. In spite of all the horrible things she has said about Jumper, and all the time she had to get to know Jumper (and didn't talk to her), she suddenly wants to get to know her. I smell something fishy. On top of that, she wants ME to drive her there. J. can't pick her up.

Can we say control freak again? HOWEVER, I see this as an opportunity for you to meet this woman and have a nice little *chat* Since race can certainly be part of this woman's crazy factor, I'm already envisioning her jaw dropping to the ground when you introduce yourself.

Tedo, I don't think there's a law that requires hims to stay UNTIL he's 18. If the friend's parents are willing to put him up, and he's working and can contribute to reasonable expenses, he can go get emancipated now. Legal age just makes things simpler and easier.

 

[BusynMember]

Since he'll be 18 in Dec. he isn't going to emancipation.

It is legal in Wisconsin or any 18 year old to move anywhere he wants, still in high school or not. They can no longer stop him. And he is eager to leave.

 

[JJJ]

Emancipation isn't for a kid who WANTS to leave home. It is for a child who is already 100% financially self-sufficient and living independently and NEEDS the ability to sign legal documents (lease, utilities, etc) as an adult.



MWM- He may wish to start moving his things a bit at a time. Especially any scrapbooks or photos of his mom that he may have. While he can move out at 18, I just don't see step-mom letting him take his stuff. Far better that he took it out a backpack full at a time over the next couple of months.

 

[BusynMember]

She won't let him and, since she checks on his things regularly (although HE buys them), she isn't going to let him take them and he will likely leave them behind. That's just the way he is. He's getting his own cell phone at 18.

In Wisconsin, if you leave home before 18 and don't go to court (and his parents would fight it), he can be arrested. He doesn't think it's worth the fight since his birthday is in December.

 

[DDD]

I'm sorry that things still look bleak. Absolutely I think you guys need to stay out of his plans. Why? For a number of reasons actually. Most importantly J is preparing for a life changing series of decisions that will cause trauma to him and his family. He has to own each of his choices and actions or they won't settle in his heart and his mind. Leaving home at 18 is a big decision that will impact the rest of his life. Yes, I know, he is not in a loving environment. on the other hand, he is leaving the life he has known and it will be a huge change. Even really abused childen have "sense of loss" issues, trouble adapting to strange ways etc. It may be the best choice he ever made or it may be a trigger for depression for the losses he will face.

I'm glad to read that he has the option to live with a friend. I'm really glad that you are not inviting him to join your household. It would not be good for Jumper. It would not be good for him. It would not be good for your family.
Wanting to "save" someone is admirable (comes in the true Mom's heart) but it is his burden and will shape his future choices. I totally agree that Jumper should not be visiting his family home. SM is "off". There is no telling how far "off" she is. I see that as possible endangerment for your daughter and not worth the risk when only a few months are left before his birthday. Life will soon normalize as the school year gets in full swing. Time will pass quickly (at least from an adult perspective, lol) and the next thing they know Christmas will be here. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that Jumper's life stays on an even keel and that her friend is analyzing his options carefully. Hugs DDD

 

[pepperidge]

ddd gives some very wise advice.

I doubt that anything bad would happen to your daughter but I do think that the mother would somehow bring her into the whole drama in an even more unhealthy way. She doesn't need that so I think you are wise to steer clear.