Hi Southern Child,
Just so you know, if feel your frustration and anger. I have been there done that with my difficult child too. My difficult child's problems started around 2 and got him kicked out of 4 daycares and caused me to lose my job of almost 10 years. We have been through countless psychiatrists and medication trials. In kindergarten we put an IEP into place. He had a para, movement breaks, behavior motivators, etc. By the beginning of first grade it was clear we had to move our difficult child out of district to a small class environment that also supports therapeutic interventions. Although it was a heartbreaking decision a lot of good has come from it. Our difficult child was also a flight risk (running from class/daycare), threw chairs in class etc. He is very smart and has no learning disabilities, but his behavior took away from his ability to learn. His world has opened up there and he excels in math and his reading has taken off. He still participates in sports with-kids he should be in school with and had his first successful 3 week stint at camp this summer. So things can get better!
First off, I suggest that you put your request for an evaluation in writing and send it certified mail to your Director of Pupil Services for your school district. This will get the IEP ball rolling. Check your schools website. I know ours had a pdf of the request for evaluation form. Once received the clock starts ticking and the school has to respond under federal law within 60 calendar days from the day you give your consent for an evaluation.
Do not sit back and let them document with-o doing the form. If they do not have the form they can drag their feet. IEP's can cost money (testing, specialists, etc.) so there may be times that you have to gear up to fight for what your child needs.
I would also go forward with having your child tested by an independant neuropsychologist. They can many times pick up things that other specialists miss.
My son too took Abilify. What we found with-him was that anytime we tried to increase above 5mg he would have a bad reaction to it.
As I mentioned we went throught countless medication trials from the time difficult child was 4. He's only 7 now too. Nothing worked. We had been told he was bipolar too. (It's on my husband's side - his mom and his aunt). We trialed depakote, lithium, abilify ( I could go on). He isn't bipolar. He has been diagnosis'd as ADHD/ADD combined type with mood disorder not otherwise specified. Yet not one single ADHD medication works for the poor thing (and we trialed them all). What was the biggest help in medications for him was actually Prozac. (I am by no means suggesting this for your difficult child-I am not a doctor-just responding since you asked about depakote).
With kids like ours a lot will be trial and error. Be it medications or interventions.
Good luck to you.