Farmwife
Member
Please forgive me if these questions have been overdone before...
*What is an Residential Treatment Center (RTC)? I have a vague understanding from conversations in here but that's about it.
*In general, what are the standards and requirements a difficult child needs that get them placed in an Residential Treatment Center (RTC), or at least psychiatrists thinking that Residential Treatment Center (RTC) is a good idea?
*How awful is the insurance approval process? While I know they all try to get out of it, are there markers and situations that they HAVE to work with assuming it is covered? (difficult child has BCBS as a primary and medicade as a secondary. Aside from their red tape both provide excellent coverage)
*How complicated is the transition from psychiatric hospital to Residential Treatment Center (RTC), is it a long transition/application process or can a stop at home in between be avoided? I would like to avoid having DCFS step in, in the interim but refuse to allow difficult child home.
In hindsight I realize asking my mom to take difficult child is not a good idea. She is a classic enabler and accepts abuse mentally, she is a victim. Allowing difficult child to stay with her is only a solution to prevent violence in my home, it does not help difficult child in a therapeutic way. Essentially I would be dumping difficult child issues on her for a lack of a better solution and difficult child essentially learns that the more awful he becomes the easier life gets...not a good message to send.
I don't want to disrupt difficult child in school or have him think we are abandoning him but I think he has officially exceeded our capacity to manage him anymore, about a year ago. Right now damage control is important.
To him we hoover as parents so the conflict is with us. However, we are not the problem. As he turns 18 there will just be another victim and another set of people who irritate him like his parents did. He cannot escape his own inability to manage himself just because we the immediate stressor can be removed. ie; he won't suddenly become cured and be a good citizen just because he can move out someday and "tell us where to go".
All this time I was believeing and being led to believe that difficult child issues were my lack of skill and appropriate structure as a parent. All the professionals this far want to convince me and themselves that if I change enough he will suddenly find my role as parent less impossible to deal with and he will be a good kid. ROFL! I blamed myself for his lack of "recovery".
Enough of that. I love him but had a serious case of denial. He is a really awful person. I still love him but he is a real nasty individual and although he is mine to love and be responsible for I don't deserve to be his victim. The grown up world makes no excuses or accomadations so why should I have to? (that was a rhetorical question, lol)
I LOVE the smell of reality.
I think the system refuses to accept that in some cases the parents are the abuse victims and it doesn't mean they are bad parents. Teaching us to manage him amounts to walking on egg shells to avoid his wrath. He knows it too. difficult child isn't just an average bad kid who needs a time out, he has a mental illness so telling us to redirect him and give him choices is like putting a fire out with a garden hose.
*What is an Residential Treatment Center (RTC)? I have a vague understanding from conversations in here but that's about it.
*In general, what are the standards and requirements a difficult child needs that get them placed in an Residential Treatment Center (RTC), or at least psychiatrists thinking that Residential Treatment Center (RTC) is a good idea?
*How awful is the insurance approval process? While I know they all try to get out of it, are there markers and situations that they HAVE to work with assuming it is covered? (difficult child has BCBS as a primary and medicade as a secondary. Aside from their red tape both provide excellent coverage)
*How complicated is the transition from psychiatric hospital to Residential Treatment Center (RTC), is it a long transition/application process or can a stop at home in between be avoided? I would like to avoid having DCFS step in, in the interim but refuse to allow difficult child home.
In hindsight I realize asking my mom to take difficult child is not a good idea. She is a classic enabler and accepts abuse mentally, she is a victim. Allowing difficult child to stay with her is only a solution to prevent violence in my home, it does not help difficult child in a therapeutic way. Essentially I would be dumping difficult child issues on her for a lack of a better solution and difficult child essentially learns that the more awful he becomes the easier life gets...not a good message to send.
I don't want to disrupt difficult child in school or have him think we are abandoning him but I think he has officially exceeded our capacity to manage him anymore, about a year ago. Right now damage control is important.
To him we hoover as parents so the conflict is with us. However, we are not the problem. As he turns 18 there will just be another victim and another set of people who irritate him like his parents did. He cannot escape his own inability to manage himself just because we the immediate stressor can be removed. ie; he won't suddenly become cured and be a good citizen just because he can move out someday and "tell us where to go".
All this time I was believeing and being led to believe that difficult child issues were my lack of skill and appropriate structure as a parent. All the professionals this far want to convince me and themselves that if I change enough he will suddenly find my role as parent less impossible to deal with and he will be a good kid. ROFL! I blamed myself for his lack of "recovery".
Enough of that. I love him but had a serious case of denial. He is a really awful person. I still love him but he is a real nasty individual and although he is mine to love and be responsible for I don't deserve to be his victim. The grown up world makes no excuses or accomadations so why should I have to? (that was a rhetorical question, lol)
I LOVE the smell of reality.
I think the system refuses to accept that in some cases the parents are the abuse victims and it doesn't mean they are bad parents. Teaching us to manage him amounts to walking on egg shells to avoid his wrath. He knows it too. difficult child isn't just an average bad kid who needs a time out, he has a mental illness so telling us to redirect him and give him choices is like putting a fire out with a garden hose.
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