Probation and community service update

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by TerryJ2, Nov 6, 2012.

  1. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    difficult child did his first round of community svc this past Sat. at the police station. There are about 5 kids, and they had to wash a cple of squad cars, and the van that they rode in. They also went to two local schools and washed the floors. I like it! Then they went back to the police station and got a lecture.
    He said it wasn't as bad as he expected. The kids joked around and it was kind of fun, plus, many hands make light work.

    Today, we had a mandatory mtng with-two officers, and 5 other kids (not the same as those in his community svc group.) They went over the rules of probation, which seemed simple enough to me, but I was shocked that most of the kids didn't even know the meaning of the word. Then the officers (both women, in street clothes) asked them to define felony and misdemeanor. They had ea of the kids read aloud a diff Q, and give examples.

    This one kid was such a chatterbox, omg. He seriously needs medications. Not very bright, either. I do not see a bright future for him. He was very funny and loved attention, but unfortunately, a lot of the laughter was at his expense. Also, he argued and argued. Every. Single. Point.
    He didn't see why you still had to do community svc if you are working a real job. Thought they were the same. Didn't agree with-the rules of probation such as the PO being able to create any rules s/he wants, plus being able to check the offender's whereabouts, and access school records. At several points, even the parents laughed out loud. (We tried, we really tried not to laugh, but he was so animated and had such funny stories and gestures. If someone could guide him into public speaking and stand-up comedy, he'd be fine. But that's not going to happen.)

    Get this: difficult child wanted to bring his girlfriend with-him to wait in the car during the mtng. I yelled, "Are you out of your mind?!" He said, "Why are you yelling at me?"

    Then, in the pkng lot before we went in, difficult child argued with-me about what to wear. He was at his girlfriend's house, so b4 I picked him up, I grabbed a polo shirt and pr of pants that he could change into. He argued and finally gave in and looked at the pants (I lured him into it by closing my eyes and asking him to hand me the pants so I could figure out the diff between khaki and denim by touch alone). Turned out I'd brought a pr 2 sizes too small that I'd accidentally taken from a pile of giveaways. :(
    Next up was the polo shirt, which he hates because it has a collar and it's puke green. Hey, I thought boys LIKED puke green! He had taken off his ROTC sweatshirt because he spilled on it but I told him since it was 48 degrees, he needed something warmer and layers would work. After arguing, I just started to get out of the car and let the cold air come in. :) All of a sudden, he was pulling that polo shirt over his little tshirt.

    Once we got home he wanted his girlfriend to come over for dinner. I told him NO. We have no food. We're reheating leftovers and he spent 5 hrs at her house today and that's enough. He argued that he would make dinner. Right. with-a can of black-eyed peas and ketchup? He stomped off and refused to do his chores. This, after the mtng where two officers insisted that he and the other kids had to respect their parents, teachers and problem ofcrs.

    What was I saying about that other kid not being bright? Wait, it was MY kid!

    I took P in for cataract surgery this a.m. Took her out to eat afterward. Stupidly let her eat a small cheeseburger and drink 3 cups of coffee afterward ... so she got a horrid case of diarrhea when we got back to assisted living. (Hey, lunch was fun while it lasted.)
    Got exactly 35 min to come home, use the bathroom, and open the mail before taking difficult child downtown.

    Now I have to decide what to do about his FB account, since he lied and said he was no longer in contact with-two of the kids who got him involved in drugs last spring. Leave it so I can monitor his activities? Or throttle him? I just want to go to bed.
  2. So frustrating. He sounds so much like my difficult child. Sorry, I hate to say that.

    Hope you get a good nights rest tonight.

    Maybe after a while the probation officer and other officers will get something to sink in. Crossing my fingers for you.
  3. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    I am so glad I didn't have those issues with difficult child 1 but then again, he doesn't have a girlfriend ......... yet. When he does, those scenarios will be dejavue. Calgon????
  4. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    I am very much where you are on the facebook issue. I considered closing it since he is locked up, but I am finding out some intresting information. Let's just say that if I had any doubts about letting him feel the pain for as long as they will hold him, I don't anymore.
  5. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry it has come to that, Pasajes, but I know how you feel. Sometimes I feel like I walk through life holding my breath, so I won't explode at difficult child. We put so much effort into all of this and we only know that we can try until they're out of the house. And then we can say we gave it our best.