DammitJanet
Well-Known Member
I know I am in the wrong...cant figure out how to fix this one so I am coming here to get some help.
Tony and I have been together for 25 years this July 15th. He isnt a mover or a shaker but he is steady. He has two things he loves to do as hobbies and that is hunting and fishing. He gave up hunting for quite a few years because we just didnt have time or money for him to really do it but he has kinda gotten back into deer hunting in the last year or so. He is a huge fisherman though. He would fish every weekend if he could. Heck...every day if he could!
This wasnt so much of a problem when we lived at the beach or when the boys were younger and they tagged along with him. I was also healthier and I had outside interests and could go and do things. Now I cant. Now Im stuck at home and when he is gone I am left to be the driver which wasnt such a problem when the boys were younger because they werent working.
Now I am always mad and upset when he wants to go do his thing. I know its because I have nothing to go do. I also have the health problems that make me feel left behind and I do miss having his attention when he works all week and I am stuck in the house with no one to talk to besides the boys.
I am so isolated.
He doesnt get it and thinks I am trying to control him and use him only as a paycheck. It isnt that at all. I dont even know how to explain how I feel. I guess I just feel abandoned and this is something that hits harder with the borderline junk and makes me lash out in anger...which I try really hard not to do and to try and explain my needs calmly...but if I cant get it across...I get angry.
How do I solve this? And dont say find a hobby...I have tried. I really do live in a one horse town and there is nothing to do here that doesnt cost money. Gas is so high I cant afford to drive to the next bigger city that often. This is really starting to be a huge deal. We are at each others throats constantly.
Tony and I have been together for 25 years this July 15th. He isnt a mover or a shaker but he is steady. He has two things he loves to do as hobbies and that is hunting and fishing. He gave up hunting for quite a few years because we just didnt have time or money for him to really do it but he has kinda gotten back into deer hunting in the last year or so. He is a huge fisherman though. He would fish every weekend if he could. Heck...every day if he could!
This wasnt so much of a problem when we lived at the beach or when the boys were younger and they tagged along with him. I was also healthier and I had outside interests and could go and do things. Now I cant. Now Im stuck at home and when he is gone I am left to be the driver which wasnt such a problem when the boys were younger because they werent working.
Now I am always mad and upset when he wants to go do his thing. I know its because I have nothing to go do. I also have the health problems that make me feel left behind and I do miss having his attention when he works all week and I am stuck in the house with no one to talk to besides the boys.
I am so isolated.
He doesnt get it and thinks I am trying to control him and use him only as a paycheck. It isnt that at all. I dont even know how to explain how I feel. I guess I just feel abandoned and this is something that hits harder with the borderline junk and makes me lash out in anger...which I try really hard not to do and to try and explain my needs calmly...but if I cant get it across...I get angry.
How do I solve this? And dont say find a hobby...I have tried. I really do live in a one horse town and there is nothing to do here that doesnt cost money. Gas is so high I cant afford to drive to the next bigger city that often. This is really starting to be a huge deal. We are at each others throats constantly.