Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Jojara, Dec 11, 2008.

  1. Jojara

    Jojara New Member

    My 10 year old son has rages. They are intense and horrible.

    He had one last night. I asked him to put his dinner dish in the sink. He got mad and started mouthing off. He went to his room and slammed the door- yelling horrible things and calling me horrible names. A few minutes later he came out and said "YOUR GOING TO PLAY A GAME WITH ME". I told him that no, I wasnt going to play a game with him, that he had to earn those privledges with good behavior. He went back to his room and slammed the door over and over and over. Then it began.

    I live in a rented house, and I cant allow him to make holes in the walls. So into the rage I had to go. Last night I thought he had broken my arm. Well, its not broken, my arms and one of my legs are just terribly bruised. Its ugly and I hurt a lot today.

    I used to be able to sit with my back to the wall and restrain him until he calmed down when he would get violent like this. He is getting too strong, I cant restrain him anymore.

    Do any of you have any good restraint techniques that I can use without hurting him?

    Appointment with the psychologist tonight. (sigh)
  2. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Honestly, I think if he rages like that again you should probably call 911. A rage so bad that you think he has physically harmed you, goes beyond restraint techniques, in my opinion.

    That being said, a therapist did teach me some techniques years ago for Oldest's rages (prednisone-induced psychosis). I literally would have to sit on her sometimes, and hold her arms and legs until she calmed down. When theings were truly out of control, however, I called 911 and she was admitted to the hospital.

    Be sure and show the psychiatrist your bruises tonight, and describe the rage as best you can.
  3. bran155

    bran155 Guest

    I agree with CrazyinVa, when it gets that bad call 911 or crisis intervention. Has he ever been hospitalized? If the rages are that intense I don't think that is good for you or him. You just may need some outside help when it gets that bad, especially since he is getting older and stronger.

    Just my opinion. Hang in there. :)
  4. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Call your local chapter of NAMI (can be found at They will have all the information for crisis intervention in your area.

    Have you told the psychiatrist about the rages? I suspect something is not right with his medications. Did he have rages before starting medications?
  5. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I strongly recommend a second opinion from a different psychiatrist.

    Sorry you are going thru this- I have to go thru it periodically with my son and I know what you're feeling- physically and emotionally.
  6. luvmyottb

    luvmyottb Guest

    I would look to his medication for some answers. The stimulant Vyvanse could cause rages and intense meltdowns in the afternoon -the rebound effect when it begins to wear off. My daughter maxed out at 20mg for a 65 pound child. She would get physical and just rage out of control over something so simple such as putting the plate in the kitchen sink.

    We switched to the patch for ADHD issues which seems to agree with her much better. My 15 year old takes Vyvanse also. He weighs 170 and has never taken over 30 mg per day. My husband also takes Vyvanse 2 capsules at 20mg per day for a total of 40 mg. The whole family has ADD issues except me.

    Does he have a diagnosis? Get a copy of The Explosive Child by Ross Greene. It helps a lot with kids that meltdown over seemingly nothing. If he hasn't had an evaluation, I would get him to a neuropsycholgist for testing. They have more training in the brain and the testing is more in depth than a regular psychologist. Did he have meltdowns before the medications? Good luck to you. I'm sure it is hard being a single mom. I hope you can nip his physical stuff now.. soon he will be too big and strong. Welcome to the board. Hugs to you.
  7. luvmyottb

    luvmyottb Guest

    Sorry, I didn't see your sig. If he is bipolar as you suspect he maybe, the stimulant medication can make it worse. Have you read the Biopolar Child?
  8. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm sorry you are dealing with this. I've lived with violence from my difficult child and it's horrible. I agree it may be time to call 911 (I haven't done this myself yet but it is now a part of his crisis plan). If he is this unstable would hospitalization help? My son has been hospitalized in the past due to his violence and two of the three stays helped (at least for awhile)
    Sending gentle hugs your way.
  9. Ropefree

    Ropefree Banned

    You mention it is son's medications wears off early in the afternoon.
    He does have a much more difficult time in evenings and now mornings...which is absolutely new.
    I have started giving him sleepytime tea every evening. And I pretty much offer him attention and do not preassure him in anyway.
    I am so sorry that it is feeling so badly in your family. It hurts SO MUCH when
    it is so difficult and out of control.
    We need people who are in our houses and not learning to know who have experiance and technique. Are there vedios? What resourses are there for a parent who wants to look at ways that are working when it is out of hand.
    Also, can you install a camera so that you can take a clip of what exactly is going on. Maybe even if you saw it some detail or trigger or something that you are blind sided by would just be clear for you...I wonder.
    I am so glade that you are going to see someone tomorow. Hope something very helpful arises out of this for you and all of us who want you save, Mom.
    Not worrying about the rental. It is so much stress.