retaining self control

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by devira, Oct 7, 2008.

  1. devira

    devira New Member

    Hi everyone,

    I am back. I guess it is part of the course, where things sem great for a while then it is like a crash landing. It is hard to believe that the issues my difficult child is facing can have such an effect on everyone else in the house.

    My friends (although trying to be supportive) say things like, I could never live with that, or aren't you afraid to live with him... some support! they mean well.

    my difficult child is NOT aggressive, just impulsive. He, as is typical, is pretty immature for his age. Over the past four weeks things have gone from fantastic to omg what's next... He has sliced open my couches (to see what was inside), He has been sleeping with steak knives under his pillow (they are now locked up), he has been urinating all over my house, he refuses to dress himself, he wont go to bed, homework is never done, he runs outside and onto the street, etc.

    I find myself having thoughts, that just are not OK. Then of course I feel guilty as can be for having the thoughts. What do I do, when he seems to have no caring or remorse for anything he does. He never acts out towards others, but his actions will hurt himself greatly one of these days.

    I am meeting with his psychiatrist today. Whenever I tell him the types of things going on, he seems to take things really lightly, as If I am just complaining about little things. My house is always in turmoil and I just do not know how to get the message accross, without making things seems worse then they are...

  2. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    It sounds to me as if your difficult child needs a neuropsychological evaluation ASAP. You need to find the root cause behind these behaviors and then put the appropriate interventions into place.

    Is he currently taking medications? If so, what and are things better, worse or about the same since starting medications?
  3. Pookybear66

    Pookybear66 New Member

    Devira-I'm new here so I don't have all the information about your family. You say he is seeing a psychiatrist but in your sig you list things with ?? Does he have aspecific diagnosis? Has he had a full workup? Is he on any medications? There is something definitely not right with him that you need to address ASAP.
    In the meantime-put a chain lock on your front door as high as you can so he can not reach it but you can lock it and keep him safe for the time. I'm sure some more knowledgable peeps will jump in here soon and offer more specific advice. But I wanted to offer my support-hang in there.
  4. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    We actually have door locks that lock with a key from the inside. We have used them at times when our kids are not stable and might run away.
  5. devira

    devira New Member

    My difficult child is taking Vyvanse and Seroquel. When he started this combination, things were really going GREAT! Then either, his body adapted or grew enough that they are significantly less effective.

    He is on a HUGE dose 60 MG of Vyvanse. If we take him off of Vyvanse, he is completely out of control... we end up locking ourselves in a room so we do not get hurt. The strange thing is he is not actually trying to hurt us, he just is so out of control that it is scary. He used to take adderal XR, but it did not last as long. He is fine (although having trouble staying on task) in school. It is between the hours of 6:00 PM and 9:00 AM that are the problem.

    100 MG of seroquel -- he started taking this because of lack of sleeping, and manic type behaviors he was showing. I think is what also because the Dr. thought he has seperation and anxiety issues. The improvement was instantaneous. But short lived.

    The reason for all the ? is my psychiatrist does not want these labels to follow him through school at this young age. He has done several tests, but I do not know enough to say whether he has done enough -- all the evaluations have been done by observations, behavioral scales and other paper types of assessments.
    Last edited: Oct 7, 2008
  6. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    My son takes Seroquel as well. His psychiatrist has told us that the therapeutic dose used to be 200 mg, but that docs were finding that Seroquel is metabolized faster the longer you take it. So what once was working doesn't always continue to work and you need to increase it. The therapeutic range for sleep and anxiety is now 25 to 200 mg, but the therapeutic range for mania is 300 to 600 mg.

    You should also be aware that stimulants like Vyvanse can exacerbate existing anxiety, which is what you might be seeing as well.

    I would still urge you to seek a neuropsychological evaluation so you truly know what's going on with your difficult child. The symptoms of childhood disorders overlap, but the interventions for each are very different. He sounds "socially clueless" -- has Autistic Spectrum Disorder ever been mentioned to you?
  7. devira

    devira New Member

    I have not heard of Autistic Spectrum Disorder. Unless that is the full name for autism. He is actually very social and many kids love him... the parents don't... but that is because he acts so immature at times. The school tells me that his social skills have improved immensely this year compared to last.

    What does a nueropsycholigical exam entail... I am sure he has not had one.
  8. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I would definitely take him for a neuropsychologist evaluation. I adopted a child like yours. The fact is, the drugs and alcohol in utero can harm them A LOT. He could have alcohol effects (not the entire syndrome, but it can still really affect him) or he could have a form of autism that isn't classical or he could have things he inherited from birthmom/birthdad. The kids are hard to diagnose because usually we don't have a full history and because of in utero drug/alcohol exposure. The best we got was when we took our son to a neuropsychologist. My son has atypical autism and is also far more social than other kids on the spectrum. They speculate the drugs in utero could have caused it, but with proper intervetion my son is doing great (see the posts about his homecoming date). A good neuropsychologist (found at university and children't hospitals) will test at every level of functioning, usually for six hours or more. It is far more detailed than a therapist or even a psychiatrist. Many times psychiatrists think it's a psychiatric problem when there are neurological issues involved. They just don't have the training to see the whole thing. They are doctors of psychiatry only.