Returning member, AKA SilentMom

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by MoonDancer, Aug 16, 2008.

  1. MoonDancer

    MoonDancer New Member

    Hello all....I'm not quite sure who's still here from circa 2004-2005 while I was an active member. I do remember the outstanding support that I recieved from this group during my hard times with difficult child. Regardless if anyone remembers me or not, I'm sure the support will be all the same.

    A lot can happen in three years since I've been here. difficult child's ADHD had been stabilized with the FocalinXR, thank goodness. We had moved to a very remote small town, so I didn't continue difficult child's psychiatric care.

    We still had issues with her eating nonfood items, Pica. She hadn't been formerly diagnosed until almost 3 months ago. (I know I never mentioned difficult child's eating disorder while I was a member here.) We struggled with difficult child's Pica since she was a toddler, but the pediatricians always brushed it off and said "she'll grow out of it." I thought I had it under control all this time by hiding or banning all the things I knew she would try to eat.

    difficult child had a near fatal day on May 30th this year. She had consumed 6oz of GermX hand sanitizer. I was cooking dinner, kids were all outside playing within the fence. My younger daughter came to me and said "Sissy's eating lotion." So I went out to confront difficult child. First thing that hit me was the SMELL coming from her breath. She tried to deny it, but I told her she couldn't hide this from me. I opened up her hand and saw that she had a paper towel full of the GermX gel. The gel would melt pretty fast, but the paper towel kept it congelled, so she could **** on it. I immediately called poison control, who told me that I had 20 minutes to get her to the ER.

    I never had GermX in my house before, but my mother had moved in three weeks before this incident, and brought a bottle of it with her. I never thought anything of it. I thought I knew all the nonfood items difficult child would consume, but I didn't think of her adapting to new things either.

    As I'm madly rushing difficult child to the ER (doing 70mph in a 45 zone, praying I don't get stopped) - she's crying "I don't wanna die!". Then she confesses to me that she'd been sneaking the GermX hand sanitizer from school.

    The ER put difficult child in the stomach pumping room, but after taking a series of blood tests they say that it's too late to pump her stomach. Best they could do is watch that she doesn't have complications from alcohol poisoning. Her blood alcohol was 0.4, which for her size and weight was pretty bad. I was afraid to give difficult child her afternoon doseage of Focalin because of the GermX. So here I had this extremely DRUNK 10 year old kid in full swing of her ADHD. The ER docs explained to me that it's like she had 3 shots of 125% proof alcohol.

    After asking me questions on difficult child's history with eating nonfood items, the ER docs were really concerned that she'd never been formerly diagnosed with Pica before. Her pediatricians would test her nutrition and mineral levels for any deficiencies and all would come back negative - that she wasn't deficient on either of these. The ER docs explained to me that she definately should have outgrown Pica by now, and since she obviously hadn't then she needed to have a psychiatric evaluation.

    I took her for her psychiatric evaluation within the week, where she and I were put through 3 hours of tests. After the psychiatrist recieved blood test and ER reports from the hospital, they confirmed that difficult child has Pica. They also re-evaluated her ADHD, ODD, and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) - all that is still there.

    After a few sessions, the psychiatrist put difficult child on Prozac. She seems to conclude that the Pica may stem from anxiety, which has been subtle there for a very long time. difficult child has been on Prozac for 5 weeks now. I can say with a small sigh of relief that difficult child is two weeks "clean" now so far on the Pica.

    There is so little information about Pica anywhere. I've tried online and the library. All I know is the little I did find, and from the psychiatrists. This psychiatric center here has been very supportive with me and difficult child. difficult child's former psychiatric docs weren't very helpful at all, which is one of the reasons I discontinued the sessions with them. It makes a difference. I'm sure you all understand.

    As we have been continuing sessions with the psychiatrist, she is concerned that difficult child may be showing signs of bipolar disorder. I am currently in the process of charting her moods over the next few weeks. psychiatrist says not to jump to conclusions, but to just watch out and keep up with the charts.

    I'm here because I know this summer has been exhausting with not only difficult child, but my ailing 73 year old mother moved in almost 4 months ago. I had broke a rib while packing my Mom's stuff. I drove her and three small dogs in a moving truck from FL to SC. Soon after, the twins graduated pre-K. Then we took in a 9 year old girl whose mother had to be commited to a rehab facility for a narcotic addiction. difficult child had to go to summer school, and then she was upset because I decided to retain her in 4th grade again this year. My mother in law's bone cancer relapsed, so I'm constantly checking on her. Last, but not least, my husband is being sued for an accident by some *bleep* that's making false claims. (husband had witnesses say the incident wasn't his fault and he didn't get a ticket.) The court date was supposed to be this Monday, but the date got post-poned to December.

    Sometimes I feel like I have it all together. But other times, I'm just falling apart. I'm trying so hard, and yet that's all I can do - just keep doing the best I can.....

    Sorry this got so long. I didn't realize I had so much to get off my chest.
  2. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Welcome back! I wasn't around the boards when you were first here, but I did lurk.

    I'm sorry you have SO much going on right now, pulling you from so many directions. I hope you are able to carve out some quiet time for a little self care and to preserve your sanity :)

    No experience to share with you on the Pica front -- except I do remember eating some non-food things as a child for a very brief time (it was burned match heads for me :sick:).

    I have only recent "conscious" experience with bipolar/mood disorders -- although I've apparently been dealing with it for close to 2 decades with husband and for about six years with difficult child 2. And before that, I'm pretty sure my dad has something wrong with him that's either in the BiPolar (BP) or Borderline (BPD) camp. We've known for years that he's agoraphobic and has a problem with hoarding.

    At any rate, I'm glad your daughter came out of the ER experience in one piece and I hope the current psychiatrist is able to help.

    Hang in there!
  3. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Hi! I remember you from way back then!

    Glad you are getting some answers and that the new medication is starting to help.

    It does sound like you have a lot on your plate right now. Take some time to breathe. Welcome back!
  4. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Hi. Don't remember you, sorry :) Welcome back.
    Did you know that Pica is a big issue with kids who are on the autism spectrum? Has she ever had a neuropsychologist exam? Does your daughter know how to socialize? Did she have any speech or other delays? Just wondering. ADHD/ODD/Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)--often that really means something else. And unfortunately Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) kids often get wrong bipolar diagnosis. My own son did.
    Glad you came back although sorry you had to be here.
  5. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    Wow! So many worries on so many different fronts. Welcome back!

    At least there are some pluses -- you found a supportive therapist. Since your insurance company doesn't sound like it is willing to settle, the odds are they will win in court in December (they don't like the costs of a trial unless they think they can win). Things are still stable enough that you're social services thinks you can handle foster kids. Your mom is alive and survived a very trying move. (I found that sometmes it helps to see in black and white some of the pluses especially when I feel overwhelmed.)

    The GermX incident had to be so frightening for all concerned but the image of a hyperactive, drunk 10 YO is rather funny. I have this image of a little girl bouncing off the walls as she staggers and slurs. Kind of a "singing in the rain" scene choreographed by the circus' elephant trainer. So glad she got through that and maybe even is done with the Pica. Here's hoping.

    I will say one of the worst things I did to my daughter was holding her back in school. It caused so very many social issues for her and I do believe it was one of the factors that caused her to drop out. I hope holding yours back has better results.

    So, again, welcome back and so sorry you had to come back.
  6. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Welcome back! I'm not sure if we "knew" one another but your old name sounds familiar.
    Holy cow, you do have a lot going on. So sorry about your daughter's ER visit (actually, the need to have one). I have heard of Pica, and knew a girl with-it when we were growing up. She was about 9 and used to eat sand in the sandbox. We all exclaimed quite a bit and she got a lot of attention, but when she said she liked the dirt in the street better, we quit playing with-her because she was too weird. She would stop and eat in the middle of a game and wreck it for us (a ball would go flying past). It was clear even to us kids that she was obsessive-complusive or whatever we called it back then, and that she had a nutritional deficiency and needed to see a dr. I have no idea what ever happened to her.

    Gosh, having your mom move in is a big deal. I hope it is going okay. And an acquaintance's daughter too? You are on the list for sainthood somewhere.

    I hope your husband's case is resolved quickly. How disheartening.
  7. ML

    ML Guest

    I'm glad you came back. My son is close in age to your daughter and just started 4th grade too. We're still in the cycle of getting correct official diagnosis. The professionals disagree. Autism testing facility said adhd and anxiety when he was 7/8; psychiatrist doesn't see adhd but doesn't rule out aspergers (which is mom's official diagnosis).

    Hopefully the testing will give you a better picture of what is going on but I'm glad the prozac is helping. You're on the right track.
  8. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    Welcome back. I was formally katmom---I am also in a small town in SC. Hope that things improve for you quickly.
  9. MoonDancer

    MoonDancer New Member

    Hello! And thank you! I definately remember Janet, MidwestMom, and KatMom. Y'all made some pretty profound impacts in supporting me. It's so good to see that y'all are still here!

    *chuckle* Bunny, you mentioned the image of my difficult child DRUNK and in full swing of her ADHD as something out of "singing in the rain" with the circus. I think that is a pretty accurate description. Once the danger of alcohol poisoning had passed, I had to contain myself even. difficult child was EVERYWHERE in that little room. At one point, she even stood up on the gurney to sing (incoherently) a song. I'm screaming at her to get down, and the nurse came running in and told her if she didn't stop that, they'd have to strap her down to the gurney. I must admit, it was some comfort that she's a happy drunk, instead of a mean/angry one. Her drunken antics got a little more embarrassing, and I had to beg the ER docs for approval to give her the Focalin. Once that kicked in, she passed out. The poor kid had a heck of a hangover the next morning. My husband offered her some GermX "Hair of the dog that bit you" and she declined saying NO WAY! Hopefully, this is a lesson learned. But between the Pica and forgetfulness of ADHD, I'm not holding my breath.

    I do know about asperger's and autism mostly from this supprt group. I do agree that some characteristics fit my difficult child. I'm confident as we continue with the new psychiatrists that something will come to light.

    Terry, I did find out that eating dirt or sand is a common form of Pica caused by mineral deficiency. difficult child did go through the sand phase as a toddler. I took her to the pediatrician, who did blood work and ruled out any form of deficiency - then told me "she'll grow out of it". Indeed, she did grow out of eating sand, but she progressed to eating other things. So far, she has eaten chapsticks, lipsticks, nail polish, babywipes, desitin ointment, neosporin, deodorants, makeup, bar of soap, coffee creamer powder, GermX and the list still goes on. Her favorite is deodorant. I have to hide our deodorants. It concerns me because she's getting close to puberty, and is going to need it. Hopefully, since she's been "clean" now for a couple of weeks - we can figure out what to do when that comes.

    Thank you all for the welcome back. I don't know why, but it feels like getting a group hug being back here.
  10. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Moondancer, wow. I feel for you.
  11. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Welcome back. I am so glad you came backto us. It sure sounds like you could use the support. You have so very many things going on, but it sound slike you are on top of most of it.

    I am sorry about the germx incident, it sounds super scary. I am glad you saw some humor in it. with-o seeing humor in what we deal with, I think many of us would need to be commited!

    Sending hugs!

    OH- your old name DOES sound familiar, I was a newbie back then.
    Last edited: Aug 17, 2008
  12. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    Hello moondancer. It's nice to see you back even if your plate is full to overflowing.
    I hope we can share some suggestions but I know that there is always a lot of support.
    Juggling all these different personalities and disorders has to be exhausting. I hope you get a break and some help.
  13. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Welcome!! What a plate full! I don't know how you have been doing this.

    I'm glad you are charting difficult child's moods if there is suspicion of bipolar and prozac is involved. My son was on it and ended up being sent home from school for too many disruptions, then three days later went on a 1 1/2 hour crime spree that involved setting a brush fire. We don't know for sure if it was all prozac induced, but I didn't know what to look for and am sorry I didn't.

    Let us know how it's going!