Littleboylost
Long road but the path ahead holds hope.
well I suppose I should be greatful that I know where my son is, that he is not being arrested and not out of his mind on hard drugs, and that he is safe and warm. Well ok I am, but I am also feeling really angry and completely ripped off.
We have been home for 9 days and we saw son for all of 30 hours. He has made himself nice and cosy at Cop Moms house. His girlfriend is gone away and he is still staying there. Hanging with her 20 year old brother who is 100% dependent on his Cop mom. He is playing in a semi rep hockey league ( read between the lines, she is paying to have him play hockey with a deluded dream of making the NHL at 20 years of age). He is playing on a league in Maine and is home for the holidays. And a 20 year old has nothing better to do than to lay about with my 18 year old son! The way they are enabling my son is driving me insane.
A part of me knows son is doing this to get under our skin. He is clearly not happy that we hold him accountable and have him in a position of rehab or jail. Well too bad so sad. This is not about him it is about me.
I feel so ripped off as a parent. I invested so much of the past 20 years expecting a totally different outcome. It is really pissing me off. I am struggling with detaching with love vs just walking away completely.
I know I won’t do that but I am very tempted. I will maintain status quo and when we have a therapy session In rehab I will address this. I will address this with my therapist as well.
Parenthood what a rip off. Not worth the investment. I had better steer clear of any planned parenting clinics.
I am staring to build my life without son being a central part of this life at all. The challenge there is that we have no other children to focus on. It is what causes such overwhelming sadness.
They don’t care about us, how they hurt us or what that does to us. Probably they never will.
We have been home for 9 days and we saw son for all of 30 hours. He has made himself nice and cosy at Cop Moms house. His girlfriend is gone away and he is still staying there. Hanging with her 20 year old brother who is 100% dependent on his Cop mom. He is playing in a semi rep hockey league ( read between the lines, she is paying to have him play hockey with a deluded dream of making the NHL at 20 years of age). He is playing on a league in Maine and is home for the holidays. And a 20 year old has nothing better to do than to lay about with my 18 year old son! The way they are enabling my son is driving me insane.
A part of me knows son is doing this to get under our skin. He is clearly not happy that we hold him accountable and have him in a position of rehab or jail. Well too bad so sad. This is not about him it is about me.
I feel so ripped off as a parent. I invested so much of the past 20 years expecting a totally different outcome. It is really pissing me off. I am struggling with detaching with love vs just walking away completely.
I know I won’t do that but I am very tempted. I will maintain status quo and when we have a therapy session In rehab I will address this. I will address this with my therapist as well.
Parenthood what a rip off. Not worth the investment. I had better steer clear of any planned parenting clinics.
I am staring to build my life without son being a central part of this life at all. The challenge there is that we have no other children to focus on. It is what causes such overwhelming sadness.
They don’t care about us, how they hurt us or what that does to us. Probably they never will.