Running out of patience and ideas!!!!
- Thread starter Juliew09
- Start date
buddy
New Member
IC, did you read ALL of my post????, I edited it and said, I had lost my memory and mind....and apologized because I saw that it was her thread... I just lost track of the posts...didn't read all the way down.... yup, I make mistakes, and I will do it again I am sure.
OK, now that I have time to sit down and actually think straight...
This whole thing with holding it together at school and falling apart at home.
Oh ya. SO familiar.
Like starting with grade 1.
I'm going to start by going out on a limb:
You should look at getting a more comprehensive evaluation.
Something that covers a broad range of territory... either by one person or team, or by several parts being done separately.
But you need to get to the bottom of whatever else is going on.
Because... what I suspect is happening is...
He is going to school, and trying really hard to be like everybody else.
He's waiting and watching what the others do, then copying their work to make his own (works at this age, catches up with them big-time later!).
He's pushing himself to mental exhaustion just trying to "listen", but doesn't quite catch it... then gets frustrated, because the teacher thinks he isn't trying.
He may be pushing himself to neuromotor exhaustion trying to keep up with the others on the playground and in PE class.
No matter what he does, he's behind the rest.
Yet, he knows he isn't stupid.
And he's smart enough to know that if he makes a major scene about this stuff at school, he's toast in the eyes of his peers.
But... as soon as he walks in the door at home, he's SAFE.
SO, he falls apart. Lashes out at YOU - when he's really lashing out at all that is happening at school.
Possibilities include... in NO particular order... and NOT exclusive from each other...
- Asperger's (not likely Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD), but I'm no expert there)
- Developmental Coordination Disorder (DCD) (developmental coordination disorder)
- Auditory Processing Disorders (APD) (auditory processing disorders - there are multiple)
- hearing problems
- vision problems
- sensory issues
- learning disabilities
So. While there may be some form of tic disorder going on here, there's probably a whole raft of OTHER stressors.
Before you get too far into the medications thing... you need to know far more about what you are really dealing with.
THEN, you will be able to look at accommodations, interventions and medications.
And even then... some things will work, some won't, and as you resolve some issues, other stuff will show up that you didn't notice before.
Expect this to take multiple rounds...
But this first round is critical...
He's young enough for interventions such as Occupational Therapist (OT) and Speech Language Pathologist (SLP) to have MAJOR impacts (if called for, based on evaluation).
Getting the right - or even close to right - interventions, accommodations and medications NOW, definitely reduces the incidence and severity of secondary issues developing later (such as anxiety and depression and more).
Hearing and auditory usually starts with Speech Language Pathologist (SLP) evaluation.
Sensory and motor skills is usually an Occupational Therapist (OT) evaluation.
Everything else needs a neurypsych, or a child development/behavioural team, or equivalent... sometimes a team will include Occupational Therapist (OT) and/or Speech Language Pathologist (SLP), but it depends on the team.
Getting to the bottom of the "real" problems, usually has a major impact on the unwanted behaviors. They don't just magically disappear, because they become "habit", but there is no hope to address them until the "real" problems get addressed.
This whole thing with holding it together at school and falling apart at home.
Oh ya. SO familiar.
Like starting with grade 1.
I'm going to start by going out on a limb:
You should look at getting a more comprehensive evaluation.
Something that covers a broad range of territory... either by one person or team, or by several parts being done separately.
But you need to get to the bottom of whatever else is going on.
Because... what I suspect is happening is...
He is going to school, and trying really hard to be like everybody else.
He's waiting and watching what the others do, then copying their work to make his own (works at this age, catches up with them big-time later!).
He's pushing himself to mental exhaustion just trying to "listen", but doesn't quite catch it... then gets frustrated, because the teacher thinks he isn't trying.
He may be pushing himself to neuromotor exhaustion trying to keep up with the others on the playground and in PE class.
No matter what he does, he's behind the rest.
Yet, he knows he isn't stupid.
And he's smart enough to know that if he makes a major scene about this stuff at school, he's toast in the eyes of his peers.
But... as soon as he walks in the door at home, he's SAFE.
SO, he falls apart. Lashes out at YOU - when he's really lashing out at all that is happening at school.
Possibilities include... in NO particular order... and NOT exclusive from each other...
- Asperger's (not likely Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD), but I'm no expert there)
- Developmental Coordination Disorder (DCD) (developmental coordination disorder)
- Auditory Processing Disorders (APD) (auditory processing disorders - there are multiple)
- hearing problems
- vision problems
- sensory issues
- learning disabilities
So. While there may be some form of tic disorder going on here, there's probably a whole raft of OTHER stressors.
Before you get too far into the medications thing... you need to know far more about what you are really dealing with.
THEN, you will be able to look at accommodations, interventions and medications.
And even then... some things will work, some won't, and as you resolve some issues, other stuff will show up that you didn't notice before.
Expect this to take multiple rounds...
But this first round is critical...
He's young enough for interventions such as Occupational Therapist (OT) and Speech Language Pathologist (SLP) to have MAJOR impacts (if called for, based on evaluation).
Getting the right - or even close to right - interventions, accommodations and medications NOW, definitely reduces the incidence and severity of secondary issues developing later (such as anxiety and depression and more).
Hearing and auditory usually starts with Speech Language Pathologist (SLP) evaluation.
Sensory and motor skills is usually an Occupational Therapist (OT) evaluation.
Everything else needs a neurypsych, or a child development/behavioural team, or equivalent... sometimes a team will include Occupational Therapist (OT) and/or Speech Language Pathologist (SLP), but it depends on the team.
Getting to the bottom of the "real" problems, usually has a major impact on the unwanted behaviors. They don't just magically disappear, because they become "habit", but there is no hope to address them until the "real" problems get addressed.
????? First off this doesn't sound anything like my son. He Has been evaulated by his doctor and a nurologists. They found out his problems are due to a tic disorder he has had since birth. It really started to act up when he was around the age of 5 so it has been going on for over a year. It cycles... He can be fine one day then the next day he has a whole new thing he is doing and then the rest of the tics come in to play with it. Right now he is stuck on the same ones and haven't seen any new ones appear. But the screaming and getting frustrated and kicking and hitting and the I hate you has been going on for about a month and I have kept close ties with his doctor about all that has been going on. He doesn't have hearing problems, nor any learning disabilities. He is actually very smart, he is advanced in his reading, he knows the computer better then most kids in his grade(Which is First Grade). The teacher actually has him teach other kids how to use the computer. Only problem he has with his vision is he has a stigitism starting in both eyes but he has already been to a eye doctor and is not in need of glasses. I don't feel he thinks he is behind anyone at school. He has lots of friends and the teacher said he is a well rounded child.
I appreciate all the advice from everyone..
)
I appreciate all the advice from everyone..
)
T
TeDo
Guest
I completely hear your frustration. My only suggestions are to read The Explosive Child book (attemt to use his plan) and try to figure out what is frustrating or angering him. I don't know if the aggressive stuff is part of the Tic Disorder but if not, it tells me something is really bothering him and you need to try to figure out what it is so you can help or get help him deal with it.
{{{(((HUGS)))}}}} to you both.
{{{(((HUGS)))}}}} to you both.
buddy
New Member
Hi Julie, it helps a lot to know more about school, social etc. Great that he is not struggling there, really really great! In fact, do you feel he is gifted? Just curious, because then there is a "whole nother" layer that could be added. I would second TeDo's suggestion for sure and also, since he is so young, there is certainly a chance you are seeing new problems arise. There are many things that go along with Tic Disorders. I imagine you are going to have to do the "what is up now" dance for most of his life, unless he is one of the lucky ones where the Tic Disorder subsides during childhood. I pray for that for him. Do you think he is becomming more aware and more frustrated by the tics?
Just throwing ideas out, you likely have thought of this already but sometimes it helps to process with others..... luv, Buddy
Just throwing ideas out, you likely have thought of this already but sometimes it helps to process with others..... luv, Buddy
1) I have the same problem all the time... there's so much traffic through here that its hard to keep them all straight... unless you've been involved with a particular story for a while, its all just a jumble!
2) You posted. I posted. THEN you edited. So no, I didn't see your edits until your next post (above)... and you probably didn't see MY post until after you had edited. Ahhh yes. The joys of async communications!
Julie - please bear with us all... we're just parents like you! As you can see, we're pretty normal people, except that we inhabit this "difficult child world"...
buddy
New Member
haha, and it is really not a biggie, I was teasing you anyway.....and to be even more difficult child..... I edited (per the time stamp ) at 12:25 in the afternoon and reprimanded myself.... and you didn't post until 10 something at night, but a double whooping is fine, I need it sometimes, haha. so.... I am not the only one who lost track...but I probably do it more frequently since you do keep amazing track of the posts, the individual concerns and in all seriousness now, I really admire your thoughts and input.
So, Julie, we are all a little nuts after long difficult child days and nights.... I hope that reassures you not scares you, lol
Buddy... see my latest thread, and you'll know why I'm going insane.
What really happened was, I read your entire post... when you first posted it.
Created the response, then got tied up in the whole mess here and didn't POST my response until many hours later... I only checked up the thread for stuff that got added, didn't check for edits...
Ya. I'm sure Julie is getting to know us this way, though... WE understand what its like to pull your hair out over left-curve stuff that "normal" families never see... AND still have to deal with the "normal" crises... (like mine)!
Julie & Buddy - hope YOUR day is going a whole lot better than mine!!
What really happened was, I read your entire post... when you first posted it.
Created the response, then got tied up in the whole mess here and didn't POST my response until many hours later... I only checked up the thread for stuff that got added, didn't check for edits...
Ya. I'm sure Julie is getting to know us this way, though... WE understand what its like to pull your hair out over left-curve stuff that "normal" families never see... AND still have to deal with the "normal" crises... (like mine)!
Julie & Buddy - hope YOUR day is going a whole lot better than mine!!
buddy
New Member
IC---IF I had those fleas, I would be not able to post one clear sentence....And living in MN, I can surely understand not being able to deal with it in snow....I am SOOOO sorry you have this. difficult child's I can cope, fleas, I think you would have me in a psychiatric hospital!
