saw the neuropsychologist for results...

[ksm]

I don't know if it is good news or not. She doesn't feel difficult child has any diagnosable problem except for depression. And that her depression manifests itself as agitation and anxiety. No bipolar, no FASD, no ODD, no Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). That basically, there were no levels of mental defiencies that would lead to a diagnosis. But she did say, that unfortunately, she is one of those hard to parent, resistive to change, difficult to be around teens... but she feels she will eventually grow up and out of this phase. I will be getting the test results in writing in a couple of weeks. Her suggestions... individual and family therapy... follow thru with consequences... and hang on for the ride. She was in agreement with the idea of BC pills - that maybe they would make her emotions more level. She said if the first rx for BC makes her worse, to keep trying different pills for BC. She didn't feel that she would need medicaton for depression at this point, unless it worsened and she withdrew. Our difficult child is more in your face than withdrawn.


Not sure what to think. I do know that I am going to expect more out of difficult child academically and we have to tie that in to a rewards system. I won't be believing the "I forgot" as much any more.

KSM

 

[TerryJ2]

Hmm. Well, depression can certainly manifest differently in kids and teens. And maybe the BC pills will help. I would definitely keep the door open for a new diagnosis in the next few yrs, though. And definitely do talk therapy. Your difficult child is going to need tools to navigate these yrs.
Did the neuropsychologist show you any test results and explain them line-by-line? That's what ours did. I'm just wondering because you didn't go into any detail about it ... just that she feels your difficult child suffers from depression.

 

[InsaneCdn]

Wasn't this a fairly major test cycle? what tests did they run?
Or was it just an hour's appointment?

 

[ksm]

difficult child had two half days of testing, and we both filled out questionaires before the testing. She said she would be mailing the test results and summary to us.

I think that I mentioned that we are on a full week of grounding difficult child and easy child and have taken away phone, computer, friends, etc. Just us... and them. One of us is home with them at all times. difficult child and her BFF spent Friday night here and they snuck out... easy child went along with them. Police were involved and we got a call about 3am... Tonight, difficult child was mad because she realized she won't be hanging with friends on the 4th. Stomped around the house and said it was "all our fault!". Hmmm...

We will be having therapy appts... but it hasn't been helpful in the past. Not sure what to do now.

KSM

 

[InsaneCdn]

I could spew out all kinds of ideas but... I think you've tried them all.
She's about the most difficult-to-parent kid I can imagine.

 

[Liahona]

Those results must be frustrating.

 

[DammitJanet]

I will say I can believe those results. I once had a psychologist tell me that there should be a diagnosis in the dsm for teenage psychosis. The onset is somewhere around 12/13 and ends about 21. I believe its so true about many teens. They are just completely resistant to parenting. I know Cory was. I dont know that anything that anyone ever did helped at all except we kept him alive.

 

[BusynMember]

I would get a second opinion.

in my opinion she is getting into too much trouble way too young for nothing to be wrong. If he/she feels she is just a typical teen then there would be no need to stablize her with medications and I REALLY don't like the idea of using BC as a mood stabilizer. Sounds like the neuropsychologist is least thinking of a mood disroder, which can be quite disabling. But BC???? BC can make certain people MORE moody and even crazy acting. Not sure I trust this person.

Good luck and keep us updated

 

[SuZir]

MWM: Believe, many teens are able to get to awfully lot of trouble without anything chronic going on. Puberty and puberty are not the same. Some people are just much more vulnerable to their hormones than some others. Shows during puberty and with women with their cycle and during pregnancies.

I have known a lot of people, who were absolutely impossible during puberty and teen years and when they grew up, there was nothing wrong with them. Parenting resistant TTs are common phenomenon, I would say that up to 10 or 20 per cent of kids are very difficult during puberty and it really isn't any disorder.

And if a girl is very prone to their hormonal changes, BC could be the best thing to help, because they do smooth it out a bit. Yes, for some they make moodiness worse, but for many, they even out things considerably.

I wasn't difficult kid outwards, but I have always been prone to my hormones. During puberty I just manifested it differently, and mostly turned it inside. I had turbulent moods, but while it was mostly inside my head, it wasn't pretty. At all. Times I was without hormonal BC when we were trying to get pregnant, my pregnancies, nursing, well, let's just say I was slightly hormonal And let's just say that IUS makes my life much easier.

 

[BusynMember]

Right, Suz. I agree. However, if she was always impossible, that's another story. The doctor wants to put her on BC to even out her moods. That is a red flag that he doesn't think it's just typical teen.

Also, not all teen girls are difficult, hormones or not. Often, when they get very hard to raise it is drug or alcohol induced. I read somewhere, and believe, that 80% of all teens do not get into any sort of trouble or drive their parents nuts. After having Jumper, I believe it. She and none of her friends are defiant or particularly problematic. And she has a lot of friends. Now if you want to hang with the "bad" crowd, so to speak, in my opinion that says more about your own problems than all teenagers. My oldest was drawn to troubled, drugged out kids because she was like they were.
If neuropsychologist really believed nothing was going on with this child, he would have seen no reason to try to even out her moods. I really don't like using BC. I know a lot of people who have bad side effects to it, including me. I could never take the Pill. It made me sick. My oldest plain gets nutty when she is on any form of the pill. I think there are better medications for a mood problem.

Now Jumper can be moody and pout, but that's not the same as chronic unhappiness and chronic disobedience or drug/alcohol abuse. Circumstances can cause a usually good kid to get impossible too, such as a sudden divorce...that certainly affected Julie in a really bad way. It's complicated.

Thanks, Suzir

 

[ksm]

Right, Suz. I agree. However, if she was always impossible, that's another story. The doctor wants to put her on BC to even out her moods. That is a red flag that he doesn't think it's just typical teen.

I was the one that brought up the subject of BC pills to the neuropsychologist. Because, next week, we have an appointment with the family doctor. I tried two different OB/GYN's and neither was accepting new GYN pts. The reason I brought it up was not as a mood stabilizer, but just for good old birth control. I don't think she is sexually active yet... but when you have a 15 year old who sneaks out at night... and who is very impulsive... and who can't say no to anything she wants... I just feel like we need to have a back up plan. I asked the neuropsychologist about the possibility of BC pills... would they even out her mood? difficult child claims most of her bad attitude on "that time of the month". neuropsychologist said it does help alot of teens... but if it makes things worse to try a different type of BC.

and difficult child is drawn to the "bad boys" who are already having school/legal problems. We don't let her date yet. But I know I can't keep her safe forever. Biomom had 4 kids, 4 different dads... and is still acting like a teen at 45 years old. Some never grow up. KSM