*Scent of Cedar*

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Suz, May 16, 2008.

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  1. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Barbara, I'm seeing your name pop up sporadically the last couple of days. What's happening? Are you north or south?

  2. ScentofCedar

    ScentofCedar New Member

    South now, Suz. We went home for a few weeks so I could spend some time with my mom once she went North again. (My father passed away in the early Spring, while he and my mother were down South, themselves).

    It's nice that you noticed I wasn't posting as often, Suz!

    Makes me feel sort of...cherished.



  3. ScentofCedar

    ScentofCedar New Member

    Oh, Suz! I saw this last night and thought I had posted a response.

    It must have been lost in the ethernet somewhere!

    It feels wonderful to have been missed!

    Thanks, Suz!

    To answer the question? We are south again, now. My father passed away in March while he and my mother were south for the winter, themselves. When my mother was ready to go home again, husband and I went north so I could spend a few weeks with her as she adjusted to living alone in the home she had shared with my father.

    And now, we are back south, again.

    difficult child?

    Is skating that same old thin edge between living responsibly and self-sabotage. We talk on the phone alot. As I posted in my response to Stands, I still find it necessary to use so many of the responses I learned here on the site. When I do that, the underlying dynamic of the conversation changes. If difficult child is complaining or blaming (almost always an indication that he has been using again) I can say "Oh, that's too bad ~what are you going to do?" Or I can say that I know he will figure it out and that I wish him well with it.

    Or, I can tell him that what it looks like to me is self-sabotage.

    The drug piece is out in the open now, though difficult child still denies drugs play any part in what has happened to him.

    So. Given the parameters of the situation, difficult child is doing well. husband and I are in a very good place, relative to difficult child. We understand that helping isn't helping, and we are able to speak our thoughts honestly to him without condemning him, either in our words or in our hearts.

    For those who remember when I first came here, this is astounding progress for us.

    How is everything going with Rob, Suz?

    The last thing I remember you posting was a lunch you had with he and his girlfriend?


    P.S. It really does feel good to have been missed!

  4. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    SOS -

    I too have missed you very much.

    I wondered where you were.

    I haven't seen your unique style of posting responses.

    I figured you were up North.

    I figured difficult child was with you.

    I'm glad to see you are taking what you can from the site and putting it to good use. It does help. I'm doing the same with Dude.

    How is your Mom coping?

    Many hugs & love

  5. ScentofCedar

    ScentofCedar New Member


    difficult child is still tucked safely away in Louisiana!

    Mom is doing really well, I think. Making a concerted effort to get out and get back into circulation. (My father has been sick for the past few years. She loved and took care of him, pretty much isolating herself from her friends to do so.) One of the things she said she wanted to do was go to these little local bars for dinner, right?


    I hardly knew WHAT to think.

    I went with her, though.

    Turns out little local bars in Wisconsin are actually very friendly, laid back little places where people actually do go to have dinner.

    Who knew?

    It was kind of fun, actually.

    And now?

    In addition to having been well fed, I am right up to date regarding the upcoming woodtick races, too!


    Thanks for asking about her, Star.


  6. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    :D I've never met a bar I didn't like in Wisconsin! Can't say I ever ate dinner there but......if I ever retire I may go join your Mom and her friends!

    Don't think that Suz and Star are the only ones who have "noticed your absence" or "missed you". Unlike Starbie, I just assumed you were pigging out on stone crab claws at Joe's. LOL! Have you gone there yet??

    I'm really happy that you and husband are in sync and able to cope in a common way. Great to read an update. DDD
  7. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    D3- Just so you know...Barbara's "update" was from May 2008.

  8. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    suz :D:redface::D the months and years all blend at my age. My post was sincere.........and who knows, LOL, I may reread this thread next week and post again like it was "hot off the presses"!

    Aint' old age fun????? :laugh: DDD
  9. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    I love you, D3. I can totally relate. :flowers:

  10. standswithcourage

    standswithcourage New Member

    I have missed Barbara too! Her posts always brought me to tears. I have PMd her and have tried to keep up. I am just glad to hear from you Scent of Cedar!
  11. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Susan.....like I mentioned to DDD above, this is an OLD post. It's from last May....almost 9 months ago. It is NOT an update.

    I'm going to lock this thread so that no one else gets confused by it.

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