Schizophrenic/Drug Addicted 22 year old son

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by Mouseyone, Sep 25, 2017.

  1. Mouseyone

    Mouseyone New Member

    Hi all -

    Very Grateful for a space like this... My Story..
    About 9 years ago, I separated from an Alcoholic. I have two children - a 28 year old who is about to give birth any day and a 22 year old - the one with the issue. When I separated from my ex-husband I took the children. Had zero help from the ex-husband. About 6 years ago, my son started giving me hell. He started up with weed, hanging out with a bad crowd, just being unmanageable. He started getting arrested for selling weed. (My apartment complex has zero tolerance for those things and I was threatened with eviction if it continued). I had also remarried and my son hated my new husband. About two years ago, my son broke my husband's hand. I still continued to allow him to stay with me, however he was becoming increasingly unstable. He eventually got arrested for a minor sexual assault and during the course of that he was diagnosed schizophrenic. I enlisted my ex-husband's help at this time and he began living with my ex-husband. We supported him through his first court process, posting bail and attending court. My son is totally non medically compliant and smokes weed all day every day. The kicker is that my ex-husband provided and smoked weed with him which made me totally crazy as I know the complication of schizophrenia and weed smoking if you do take medications. Fast forward to now. My son got arrested again for another infraction. I had totally stopped communicating with my ex-husband as he was contributing to the issue of my son smoking (And, I believe he may be taking other drugs now as well). My son has been admitted to the hospital 3 times the past 2 months as he refuses to be medicated and smokes constantly. He also has a terrible anger issues as he got upset with my ex-husband and busted the windows of his car as well as his girlfriends car. He is currently in the hospital. He will have no where to go when he gets out. My daughter is about to become a mother. My stepdaughter has just moved in with me. My ex-husband does not want him with him. I hate to see him go in a shelter, however, I am so tired. I do not have any more fight me to deal with this. It helps getting this out, so who ever took the time to read, I thank you. Any Advice?
     
  2. Sam3

    Sam3 Active Member

    Hi. This sounds like a very long and arduous road you have travelled. I don't have much advice but I do understand the relief that comes with a D.C. being elsewhere, even if it's not the healthiest environment. Less than ideal peace is better than living hell any day.

    There are people on the board with experience with schizophrenia and I hope they have something useful for you. Ill just say please be gentle on yourself. Your son has a medical condition and If he's not medication compliant your hands are kinda tied.
     
  3. Teriobe

    Teriobe Active Member

    Stay strong for your family.
     
  4. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    Welcome.

    I just wanted to say you are not alone. I do not have any experience with this but others do and I'm sure will be along to offer their advice.

    I do suggest that you get some help for yourself. Perhaps see a therapist to help you deal with your son's behavior/illness and create healthy boundaries for you both.

    You deserve to have a peaceful home. Your happiness matters too.

    Prayers for your serenity.
     
  5. Mouseyone

    Mouseyone New Member

    Many thanks for the replies. I am in therapy. Being prayerful. My son is being released from the hospital tomorrow. He has been stealing from his father and will have no where to go. Please keep me in your prayers.

    Thank you.
     
  6. wisernow

    wisernow wisernow

    Hi there. Firstly hugs to you for having to go through this very painful situation. My son is also schizophrenic. He started with drugs which I think set the gene on fire and it wasn't until he was hospitalized after a major melt down and encounter with the law, that they were finally able to diagnose him properly once the drugs were out of his system. He ended up going to extensive rehab and no longer does drugs including smoking weed. For the brains that have a possible predisposition for a mental health issue any drug is like throwing gas on the fire. We had issues from adolescence on which resulted in him becoming violent and having to move out of the home for our safety as well as his. There are group homes available and that is where he currently resides. He is medication compliant, off the drugs and so far so good with the hope that with proper supports he will one day be able to live on his own. He has a university degree and a college diploma so he is very capable. The drug use and the illness paralyzed him and changed him to a different person but slowly I see the young man I once knew come back.. Finding work has been difficult for him, but one challenge at a time. I tell you this to give you hope. However my son did not start to grow until we finally removed and detached, broken hearted as it left all of us. I wish we would have done that earlier as the path of destruction included much dysfunction, a broken marriage and many many tears. However doing the same thing over and over which we did by virtue of thinking all of our love would save him, only hurt him and us. Something in your story must change for a change to happen. Please get help for yourself first.
     
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  7. Shelley

    Shelley Helicopter Mom in Recovery

     
  8. Shelley

    Shelley Helicopter Mom in Recovery

    Hi there, I am in great pain and through my tears and prayer I googled and found you. My son is 40. I spent 20 years trying to save him from either his Schizophrenia or Meth addiction. I managed to get him conserved, I am an expert on working the system to get him support, but even after all these years when he is on the street like tonight my heart bleeds. He no longer has a phone or ID, he has no money either. He grew up in a fairly well off household with great education. My husband, his step dad since he was 2 has totally detached from him and therefore emotionally from me. Yesterday my son tried to 51/50 himself to a hospital. They reoeased him to the street. He is conserved for a grave disability but they still dumped him out. I filed a missing persons report. I know all the al anon and coda stuff about self care, hell I don't even want to eat knowing he isn't.
     
  9. Shelley

    Shelley Helicopter Mom in Recovery

     
  10. Shelley

    Shelley Helicopter Mom in Recovery

    I don't know where you live, it takes many hospitalizations to get them conserved. I don't live with my son, I never could, he gets aggitated.

    I was his conservator once, now it is the County. If the hospital knows you will take him in they will not make an effort to get him into the system so you can get case management, housing for him and groups for him to work with.

    It takes more than a village to manage all the crisis's with a Schizophrenic. It is a complex disease, the brain kindles and does not respond to medications well the longer they are non compliant.
     
  11. I am right there with you, except that my county won't conserve my son because they don't want to spend the money. Conserve here means put them in a locked facility. (I think). I really understand the not wanting to eat because he isn't. When I go to bed at night, if it's cold, I feel like I shouldn't have a blanket because he is cold.
     
  12. Sam3

    Sam3 Active Member

    we are groot