She's packing

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Nancy, Aug 13, 2009.

  1. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    She brought two plastic containers into her room and started packing. Fran I thought of your difficult child when I saw what she was packing....our entire collection of dvd's. Never mind that she doesn't have a dvd player and she wont have time to watch movies anyway. And long sleeve shirts and sweaters even though the heat is 80-90 and won't be cool enough for those for months. And clothes that she hasn't worn in years. Her entire collection of framed pictures of hs friends even though she never talks to any of them anymore and won't have any place to put them anyway.

    No toiletries or normal jeans, sweats, t-shirts, no school supplies, none of the normal college dorm stuff.

    BUT she is beginning to pack.

  2. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Just be SURE she leaves the dvds because otherwise her room will be the room that someone brings a dvd player to and it becomes the party room.

    Or she will just give your dvds away. Or forget who she "loaned" them to, or traded them to in exchange for booze or beer pickups.

    She may actually go to class if she doesn't have much tv to watch. My second roomie in the dorms tried to sneak her parents small tv and dvd player into the dorm. They did not hesitate to return it to their home, and let me know that they hoped if I had a tv I would not let her watch it all the time, or watch it with her all the time.

    She was very embarrassed but thought of it as them embarrassing ehr by taking it back. I got on her bad side for letting her mom know I neither had nor wanted a tv in the dorm.

    I also let her know that it was stealing and I would appreciate it if none of my stuff was stolen by her or her friends.

    Within a month her pseudo-ex boyfriend (her parents thought they were ex and were happy because she had 2 nervous breakdowns of his causing the last year they were dating. She was bulimic and he hounded her about her weight.) had keys to our dorm room and her key was "lost".

    I moved out by thanksgiving, and her new roomie didn't make it back after the holidays because she watched tv endlessly with my old roomie. she even just skipped finals because her show was on then!

    And we didn't even have dvds then!
  3. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Nancy....have you hit up target or walmart for the college isle yet? LOL. I think they have a boxed set! It may be called the "momma wants you out so she can redo your room kit".
  4. Star*

    Star* call 911

    Slapped hand over my mouth when I read Janets reply so I wouldn't get fired at work.....O.M.G.

    Nancy---baby's a start. Could be worse. She could have stopped by the local red dot store and picked up the wild turkey, Malibu rum boxes and used those.

    Hang in there Mom. Bittersweet tears to come for you. Reality slap for her. Hoping for the best for you both.
  5. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Star...I had to re-read your reply because I couldnt for the life of me figure out why Nancy would want her dtr to have Baby movies! Uhhh...movies for babies? Movies about babies? Movies about how to make babies or how to prevent making babies?

    Ohhhhh, baby moves. Hmmmm....I hope it isnt the type of baby moves Im used to!
  6. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    Well, maybe she plans to carry everything---that's good. Nothing to move back in.
  7. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    :bravo::bravo:I'm so excited for you Nancy. DVD's!!! Her thinking is scattered. She is lost as to what she needs to do and doesn't have the skill to ask for help.
    Your right, my difficult child had no clue how to plan for moving. Now when he packs he works his mental list of what he will need for a trip. As far as packing to move out(I am hopeful). He now will ask me what to do first or how to make a plan.

    PS: as a side note, he is planning for a Halloween party and wanted to take the decorations out. I suggested he wait for Oct.1. He has such a hard time with time and dates that he doesn't want to be late. Hence getting to an appointment 45min early. He doesn't really know when the right time would be or how to judge when early is too early. Poor kid but it didn't stop him from ranting about how "his mom won't let him do this" to anyone who will listen. He tells people that I rule the house with an iron fist. What a joke. He has no clue what an iron fist is although there were days when I would like to show him upside his head. LOL.

    I am hoping she gets out for a while. You will worry but the day to day struggle will be over. I can't tell you how healing that is to your soul.
    I'm counting down with you.
  8. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Nancy, I always consider it very positive when our kids actually have to pack to move out since most of them are either kicked out or arrested (insert somewhat cynical giggle here).

    Are you down to 13 days now?

  9. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Ya know, Youngest moved out a year ago yet the closet in her room is still PACKED with her stuff... go figure! LOL
  10. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    YES Suz 13 days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I finally went through her boxes of clothes and took everything out and put it in piles of what I thought would be good to bring and what wouldn't. I even threw some things away without her knowing. When she gets back from work today I will try to go through it with her and let her know she doesn't need 36 thongs, but then again maybe she never plans on doing laundry.

  11. Star*

    Star* call 911


    OMG I'm still laughing.......:tongue: NANCY!
  12. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    Yeah! She's preparing for the next step...this is good.

  13. Nomad

    Nomad Guest

    At least she is working. AND if she had the notion that 36 thongs would keep her from doing laundry for 36 days, at least she's thinking. (trying to look at it from a 'different' perspective). Seems like this is for real. This is not a drill. Heee heee. The countdown has begun. Some freedom is around the corner Nancy! ;):D:tongue:
  14. svengandhi

    svengandhi Well-Known Member

    When I was single, I had 30 pairs of undies and 15 bras so I only had to do laundry once a month AND so I had undies to match every outfit - had shoes to match, too, but that's another story.

    We are taking my daughter to college tomorrow. At first she packed almost her entire wardrobe (25 sweatshirts and she IS going to a cold place, etc) so I said to her "If you want all of your clothing with you at college, you need to go to the commuter school!" She has repacked. I told her she could come home at Thanksgiving (by train) and bring some stuff to switch.

    She is very very easy child so I think part of this issue of packing is that they really have no clue what they need.
  15. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    svengandi when my easy child first went off to college she brought her entire wardrobe also, and her college was only 20 minutes away LOL. We tried to tell her she didn't need it all but she was so worried about leaving home I think she wanted to have everything with her. She got better the next three years.

  16. svengandhi

    svengandhi Well-Known Member

    Nancy -

    My girl is packing. Some of her friends are here helping since she is the first of her crowd to be leaving. I never realized that I had so many plastic boxes in so many different sizes and colors! I think she got it about the clothing but she is taking every coat she owns because it's cold and that's what people will be seeing!

    On top of that, difficult child just got home from 7 weeks working at scout camp so I am laundering his stuff before we go.

    We have an RV but even so - 7 people and 3 dogs because daughter wants to say good bye to them and "show" them her campus!
  17. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    Nancy I am glad that things are moving along for you. You will worry about your difficult child but it is so good not to see and know everything our difficult child's are up to. My easy child 2/difficult child just bought a condo and moved out. I am finally, after 36 years of parenting, an emptynester! It feels soooooooooooooo good. Hopefully it will be a lasting thing. -RM
  18. Nomad

    Nomad Guest

    Fran...Your son is soooo similar to mine. Yesterday, I heard difficult child tell me that I rule her with an iron fist. Say what? Half the time I don't even answer the phone when she calls. Why, does she say this? Cause I told her that she shouldn't give her food money away and go hungry. She said it was my fault cause when she was younger, I told her to walk away from problems and now she can't say "no" to these people who ask her for things. This is in reference to her raging issues...and I reminded her of that. I then waved my hand over her head and said "I hereby absolve you from the obligation or need to walk away from your problems. You are now an adult and must face your problems in a mature and responsible manner." She put her head was great!

    Ya know, there was one point when I was working full time and was always behind in the laundry, that I had 14 pairs of underwear, just in case I didn't get to the laundry for two weeks.

    These are interesting points about some of these things being new to the experience or practical.

    Of course, we are always and forever on guard with difficult children...never knowing what in the world they are thinking, refusing to think about or conniving.

    rejectedmom....Totally awesome that you are an empty nester and enjoy it!!! Wooo hooo! You go girl! :D

    Sven...Good luck to your girl!

    Hang in there Nancy! I love the way Fran put it...the day to day struggle will be over and that is a good thing!
    Lasted edited by : Aug 16, 2009
  19. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    rm - I am so happy for you. I eagerly look forward to that day.

    Well the packing slowed down a bit because she has been out five nights in a row smoking pot. Sadly I don;t think she will be in college long....but she will be out of the house and in order to come back in there will be rules that she will find impossible to follow.

  20. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    Oh no Nancy. I 'm sorry to hear that she is using pot and not doing what she needs to do. -RM