trying to be a conventional parent to J? I am really serious about this.. He doesn't want to be told what to do, he always knows best, always does what he wants rather than what you want (he sometimes agrees to listen or to compromise if it suits him), often speaks to me like I'm one of his school friends (calling me a big banana or a fat frog...), often threatens me with his hand or his fist if he is angry as if he were an adult, almost always acts as if we were peers or equals. I find myself repeating again and again, often angrily and to no effect "You don't speak like that to grown ups!" Why do I give myself all this strain and upset when it does absolutely no good? Why don't I just give up trying to be a conventional parent and let him bring himself up, more or less...?