Sorry, I know this is long.. I'm new to this site (what to all the letters stand for? daughter? easy child?..?) & just had a situation happen this morning. TL;DR: Past few years have been rough, my bro has gotten in trouble with cops, school, girlfriends, stealing, had outpatient rehab (he just smokes pot/cigarettes, but it's bringing so much chaos). Any advice? Long version below. -------------------------------------------------- My brother is four years younger than me (I'm 21, he's 16), we were raised by a single mom who works quite a bit. I had my own troubles as a teenager, but things with my brother are worse. A few years ago he started hanging out with the wrong kids, smoking pot & cigarettes. Which doesn't really seem like the worst a situation could be. But then Hurricane Sandy happened (we live on the beach, the house filled with water & was pushed off the foundation while we were still inside, we swam out a back window & broke into a neighbors house to spend the night in the attic for the night). We were living in a hotel then, and my mom was working more and my brother just started doing whatever he wanted. He stayed out, stole money, and smoked so much his grades started to drop. We eventually moved out and were allowed to stay with a friend. He had his own room and again was smoking everyday, and the friend noticed hundreds of dollars missing. He started getting in trouble with school, got caught smoking in the bathroom and was sent to outpatient rehab. This was quite a struggle because the rehab was in another part of town and he was coming home late and not being able to get his homework done because of how long the commute took. Eventually he got through the rehab and we were really proud of him, but then when it was all done he started hanging out with the kids he met there and getting high with them. His grades dropped more, and he got caught smoking again, and his school asked him to leave. He's at a new school now, his girlfriend broke up with him because of his smoking, and he'd been picked up by the cops - but as a minor nothing came of it. He's 16 now, has been picked up by the cops again - has a court date next month. He's stolen so much money (cash, credit cards, she thinks he even stole her $1.3k watch) she's resorted to keeping her purse in a safe, and put a lock on her door - which he figured out how to pick, so now she has a deadbolt. He's not allowed to spend time with his new girlfriend because her brother doesn't like his smoking and threatened to tell their parents. He's cut class at his new school, my mom can't even trust him with lunch money so she doesn't give it to him anymore. He's getting into fights, getting jumped, jumping other people, selling drugs, sneaking people into the house at night and smoking with them. He's been violent towards my mom - think he even broke her rib once but she was afraid to go to the hospital. I try to fight with him, but I'm also trying to be his sister. When we fight he says I'm just like her. He thinks her rules are ridiculous. He thinks it's stupid that he has a curfew, so he blatantly disrespects it. She gives him chances to prove himself (here's $5 can you get milk from the store, and he comes home with drugs; you can go out with your friends but be home by 8, he'll come home at 11 or later). About a month ago, he cut himself in a suicide attempt. He didn't do any life-threatening damage, but I was a suicidal as a teen so I know even the smallest attempts matter. I called the school to let them know what happened, and he agreed to go to counseling there. On New Years he completely disappeared, when he came home he told me that his New Years Resolution is to quit smoking, and so he just wanted one last time to get high with his friends. I told him I understood, and I was proud he was stopping. He was good for a week, fought with my mom (who didn't know he was trying to quit so didn't understand his frustration with little things), but I told him that I was proud of him and there if he needed anything. He hugged me and started crying, saying no one has said they're proud of him in so long. This lasted a week. This weekend he decided to act out again. He said he slipped up with the smoking, but I told him he could get through it and I'm here to help. I caught him going to hang out with his friend Friday night, but he was home before midnight. I told him that I didn't condone what he did, but if hanging out with his friend on a Friday night, not getting into trouble, and is home before midnight, then it's better than how things have been. I told him that's what a normal teenage life is, but it can't be much more than that. Then he went out again all day Saturday without permission and came home late. Sunday, he did the same & my mom got new locks for the door. Locked him out, but kept the garage/basement door unlocked from outside. Threw all his school things and his blanket/pillow down there. She woke up around 4am and went to check on him, only to find him and two friends - one we've never even seen before, and the whole thing was full of pot smoke. They ran out the garage door, and I called after them. Tried to reason with my brother, just get him to come inside, told his friends they were lucky we didn't call the cops. The one kid had the gall to say he did nothing wrong & that I should let my brother make his own decisions. Then they all left. I don't know what to do. My father is a heroin addict living on the streets of Colorado, my mom's brother died from drug use wearing down his body. I don't want to see my little brother going down the same path. He's going to be 17 in April, my mom's on the verge of just kicking him out, she's aged so much in the last couple of years. He's lost his school, his girlfriend, got in trouble with the cops, stolen thousands of dollars, he has outbursts of rage and gets violent. But I don't want to give up on him. What do I do?