sibling rivalry

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Lostparent, Jan 16, 2008.

  1. Lostparent

    Lostparent New Member

    How do you handle having your other children be more understanding with your difficult child? I can't seem to get through to my 13 year old easy child that her brother is not normal and not everything he does is his fault.He has Tourettes and a lot of the time he can really by annoying.
  2. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Hi, I sent you a PM yesterday
  3. Lostparent

    Lostparent New Member

    I just got it a minute ago.

  4. SaraT

    SaraT New Member

    I'm not sure about your area, but in my area the physc clinics sometimes offer class(usually free) to help siblings of difficult children understand and deal with being a sibling of a difficult child.

    My 15 yr old went and is much better about not setting her sister off now.

    Just a thought.
  5. houseofcards

    houseofcards New Member

    I would set up some outside interests for the sibling so she can get out of the chaos more, also some one on one time, maybe shopping with mom and encourageing her to vent is helpful, then on the way home remind her that he has it tough and ask her for some understanding. Repeat it5 often. This works with my 15 yo.
  6. KitKat

    KitKat Looking for Answers

    Not an easy answer but we go through that here as well. My stepson's sister also lives with us and is not very understanding although we are careful to try to spend as much time with her as we do with my stepson. Careful discussion works for a day or two and then she reverts to the "why me?" and deliberate instigations because she is just so fed up. Underneath it all though she is deeply concerned for her brother (especially since we are moving on to Youth Protection). The only thing I can say that works here is constant reminders (and I do mean constant) and also anticipation on the parents' part of any situation that could possibly become negative or even violent (yup - they do go at it) - then we move to distract them or plan an activity that separates them but is still positive.

    Also, planning free time where the siblings are separated but at least with one of the parents has really worked. Even the "normal" kids need to feel that positive glow of undivided parental attention. Nearly impossible, but doable. Unfortunately, we've come to the conclusion in our family that separating them temporarily does help them to cope when they are actually together. Could be an evening, a day, an afternoon or a sleepover at Grandma's.

    I know exactly how you feel!
  7. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    It's hard I know. I struggle with this a lot. Sometimes it helps to be able to do something with easy child one on one. I know a lot of times my daughter has probably felt like difficult child is the one to get so much of our attention. We try to do some things with just her. I do know this is something she struggles with a lot.
  8. Lostparent

    Lostparent New Member

    I try to give her positive feedback and some one on one time.She thinks that her brother never gets in trouble(not true)for his attitude or behavior.She also doesn't like that he is not held to the same academic level that we hold her.She is require to make A's and B's.But she also gets things like an IPOD,Cell Phone and such wich he doesn't get.He only has a PS2.
    She just doesn't see it for what it is.I wish I could help her understand.