Slim White envelope, University rejection letter,here we go...

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by Signorina, Jun 19, 2013.

  1. Signorina

    Signorina Guest

    The slim envelope came today...

    H held it up to the light and they rejected difficult child's application. I assume difficult child already knows - I am sure he has been checking online - and has neglected to tell us.

    The preppy button down shirts he had been wearing have sat in the ironing bin - unworn - for weeks now and he's back to his skater boy look.

    He did say he would be willing to go to community college if he was rejected but of course he was SURE they would accept him. "Mom, Uni won't reject me, they take everyone..." Bad case of Special Snowflake syndrome...

    He has never been willing to go to CC and it's always been the "placate mom or dad" line to buy time. It was asking him to follow thru with CC Jan 2012 that blew everything up in our face.

    He is still working commercial landscape 50 hours a week, but going out late every night, hanging out with an older crowd and not with his lifelong, same-age friends...

    The local, 10 day long music festival starts next week, he has a daily pass and will be going to the concerts to see the raging, alternative rappers - they're so UGLY. The music fest is a drinking and hookup fest for HS/College aged/Trashy people ... and scores of kids get in trouble each year... DS has always LOVED it and I am dreading the next 2 weeks or so; especially since he is legal drinking age. My girlfriend is the ass't DA and she refers to the next 2 weeks as her super-busy time...

    I hope I am wrong, but I think we are once again at the high point of the roller coaster - the pause before the plunge.


    (my aunt just died, so I am rushing to get work done & caught up so I can go out of town with my mom for the next 2 days for the funeral. I am dreading it and this doesn't help. I was all ready overworked and overwhelmed with my schedule, work strife & all the stuff that needs to be done around the house...and now I am anxiously frazzled....DOUBLE UGH)

    Hold a good thought for me. He was on the edge of turning his life around and I think this may tip him backwards AGAIN.
  2. FlowerGarden

    FlowerGarden Active Member

    So sorry to hear that difficult child didn't get into the university he wanted to. I hope he follows through with going to CC then. It sounds like he is working hard doing landscaping and that is great. Keeping you and difficult child in my thoughts and hoping it all works out fine.
  3. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm sorry for you Sig. As far as your difficult child it seems he was a bit overconfident. Do you really think he was in the right frame of mind to be successful if he had gotten in? I understand your worry over the concert. We have one of those not too far from us and it's every parent's nightmare.
  4. Signorina

    Signorina Guest

    Honestly, Nancy - I was very concerned (still am) that his over confidence would lead to his downfall once again. on the other hand, it was one more step in the right direction - the "maybe if gets TO the water, he will drink..." and now getting to the water is further away. While I actually think he is much better and more sensibly suited to CC right now, I am not confident that he will go. So, the dread is settling in...he has already told most people that he is attending the Uni in the fall - so I think the "shame" of not getting in and having to retract may set him off running again. I know I am getting to far ahead of myself, but keeping one step ahead is my safety net. I really hope I am wrong.

    Thanks for the good thoughts.
  5. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I'm sending hugs your way. on the other hand many of us know from experience that what we fear will happen does not always to disown the anxiety as much as possible. Can leopards change their spots?? Yep, I think so if they decide that they don't want to be a spotted leopard. Maybe he will opt to be a lion! I hope so because I would love to hear you ROAR in happy disbelief! DDD
  6. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    Hugs! After one year at the CC he can transfer to the college he wants to go to. He will get in then, he will. Therefore he is still going to graduate from the college he where he wants to go. It's just a slight deviation to his plan, I hope thats all it is and not a total dereailment. I'm sure he doesn't want to do landscaping all his life, he knows how hard it is and the pay is lousy. I hope he chooses wisely.
  7. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    Sig, I'm sorry. I too hope that you're wrong about this setback knocking difficult child for a loop. Maybe this is a kick-in-the-pants that will bring him a step or two closer to reality. Fingers and toes crossed that difficult child uses this as a jumping-off point for good decisions rather than derailment.

    We also have a few music festivals and other crazy-ness that descend on us throughout the summer. I can fully understand why you're dreading it, and hope that difficult child surprises you pleasantly by not coming a cropper.

    As to the landscaping, around these parts it's big business and very lucrative for people who get into that line of work. The fellow who used to take care of our yard years ago when he was just starting out now has a fleet of trucks and several teams of landscapers. If your difficult child can stop partying his earnings away, he may be in a position to get started on a great business venture while his peers are racking up student loans that will have to be paid off later. (If he's worried about his image, that might be something for him to think about. When the others are all entry level, he might already be an established entrepreneur).

    My condolences on the passing of your aunt. Sending many calming and soothing vibes your way.
  8. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    Hugs and love to you for the loss of your Aunt. I am very close to mine and I know how deeply it would effect me to lose her.

    I so hope your difficult child will keep moving forward regardless of the letter. He has so much going for him.
    Hang in there.