So frustrated....

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by sweetjj, Dec 11, 2008.

  1. sweetjj

    sweetjj New Member

    So R has been doing ok the last week or so. Good mood for the most part. Happy because he has a new "girlfriend". He hasnt really been told no much but we havent had a reason to..anyway...School called today..He is suspended for today & tomorrow and can go back Monday. He and 2 other boys snuck back into the school at lunch time and went into the bathroom. They were caught and searched and R had a lighter and chewing tobacco in his backpack...HE DOESNT CHEW... This is know cuz i would have noticed his teeth..anyway he said its his friends and he was holding it for him. Well I am good friend with- his mom and i let her know..but the problem is R is suspended now AND got a citation for tobacco on a minor.... husband is mad.. im mad... we are stressed to the brink.......

    anyway, i just needed to vent.... thank you!
  2. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    I am so sorry. I can feel your frustration. How does R feel about this?

    I have a really poor memory about ages. When you are able, can you go into the User CP and create a signature listing the ages of your kids? Sometimes knowing what medications they are on help also.

    Knowing the age to match the behavior helps in the suggestions given.
  3. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    When you get a chance, would you please create a signature that includes your difficult child (gift from God, the challenging child who brought you here), age, diagnosis, medications, etc. It helps us keep the details of your family in mind when responding to your posts. Here's a link to instructions for creating a signature:
  4. sweetjj

    sweetjj New Member

    thanks for the reminder about the signature! R is 15. I havent talked to him about it yet cuz i am at work and dad picked him up. I texted dad asking how it went with SRO (school resource officer) he just said We will talk later. uggggg.. he has a basketball game to go ref so he was in a hurry too...anyway..thanks all for letting me vent!
  5. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    One of the hardest lessons our kids learn is how they can be drawn into their friend's bad behavior thus causing them to get into trouble even though they don't smoke, drink, etc.

    Peer pressure is so hard. I am sure your difficult child knew not to sneak back into the school but it is harder to say no to a group of friends than to do what is right even if that message crossed his mind.

    I hope this is a learning experience for him and not a start of real trouble. Remind him that he is his own person and can chose to not join in when it is wrong.
  6. Jena

    Jena New Member

    i just wanted to jump in and offer you some support as well. I agree with Andy on that as far as our children are concerned it is so very hard for them to make the right choices, especially when being teenagers.

    I hope all goes well later. Let us know.......
  7. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Warning: When my daughter was smoking cigarettes, which we were vehemently against, we would find them on her. She was ALWAYS "holding them for a friend." She also said that when we found drug paraphanalia and pot. It always belonged to a friend. Of course, that wasn't really true. Now that she's clean she told me that this is the oldest excuse in the book. I'm not saying that your son WASN'T holding it for a friend, but I'd be very suspicious.