so funny-dog and cat diary

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by antsmom, Apr 19, 2007.

  1. Sunlight

    Sunlight Active Member

    Excerpts from a Dog's Diary
    6:00am - At last! I Go Pee! My favorite thing!
    8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
    9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
    9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
    10:30am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
    12:00pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
    1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
    3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
    5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
    6:00 pm - They're home! My favorite thing!
    7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
    8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
    11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

    Excerpts from a Cat's Diary

    Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre
    little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other
    inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I ! make my
    contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something
    i n order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my
    dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the
    carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their
    I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
    demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending
    Evil people!
    There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
    placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I
    could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement
    was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how
    to use it to my advantage.
    Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
    tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this
    again ! tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the
    other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special
    privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to
    return. He is obviously backward minded. The bird has got to be an informant. I
    observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he
    reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him
    in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now...
  2. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member

    Very Cute! :rofl:
  3. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

  4. nlg319

    nlg319 New Member

    Thanks for the laugh!
  5. Allan-Matlem

    Allan-Matlem Active Member

    I am confused when people sigh and say ' its a dog's life

  6. WhymeMom?

    WhymeMom? No real answers to life..

    I think I may have been a cat in a former life.....
  7. Martie

    Martie Moderator


    I wonder about that, too.

    ANYONE would want our "dog's life...." very cushy :smile: