Hello, I posted a few months ago about my son who is almost three. He is definitely sensory processing disorder (SPD) with sensory seeking (and some avoidance) and possibly speech delayed...we are having him evaluated by the department of education next month to get a clearer sense of his needs. Right now he sees an Occupational Therapist (OT) and a behavioral therapist. My question for you all is about discipline at this age with a very spirited, often defiant, and sometimes aggressive kid. I've been reading the Explosive Child and now I'm just flat out confused. The behavioral therapist we've been working with has been telling us to set consistent limits with him- so when we tell him he's got to do something (like get in the stroller, stop climbing on the table, get his diaper changed), we count to 2 and then basically force him to do it. This often leads to physical battles, but the good news is that he often gets over it quickly. It can be an intense battle to get him in the stroller, and he will be very upset and tantrum, but within 5 minutes he's sitting quietly. Other times the battle escalates to hitting and biting and we have put him in a time out- which can end in him throwing books or toys all over his room. The behavioral therapist has warned us against 'negotiating' with him- and it does seem like when we try to negotiate he extends the negotiation longer and longer to avoid doing the thing...like if we are talking to him about getting in the stroller, he is laughing and running away the whole time, tempting us to run after him. This happens even with ample warnings. The Explosive Child seems to be advocating just that- negotiating. I am so interested in changing the way I'm setting limits with him, but I'm not sure how it would work to be more flexible with him. I try to be flexible about things that are not that important, but there are so many things that he battles us on! How have others used these techniques with preschoolers in a way that actually resolves the issue rather than extending the time that you are dealing with it? The idea of trying to talk about these issues before they happen with a 3 year old seems ridiculous- he's understands a little when I talk with him about our conflicts, but not enough to have a discussion as is suggested in the book. Help! I don't want this battle of wills anymore, but it seems this kid is hard wired to test the limits! Any stories, advice, tips would be welcome.