So tired

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by alphabetsoup, Dec 18, 2012.

  1. alphabetsoup

    alphabetsoup New Member

    Hi everyone,

    I thought I'd introduce myself. I'm a mom to 6, one of whom, my oldest son, has been diagnosed with ADHD, ODD, EDD, Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified, and, I strongly suspect sensory processing disorder (SPD) or Auditory Processing Disorders (APD). He started off very badly when we first got him diagnosed at 7. He was violent (to the walls and furniture, never to a person or animal, but we figured it was only a matter of time), and had some really bizarre behaviors, like using our heating ducts as a toilet. Really weird stuff. The doctor put him on Ritalin, which he had a horrible rebound on. We had to take him off. His psychotherapist told me I needed to hug him more and put him in school (we homeschool, where, academically, at least, he does very, very well, and is advanced in most subjects). Eventually, we moved out of that community, and found a new pediatrician who put him on a non-stimulant that didn't work, and a counselor who told us that we were already doing everything she would recommend (checklists, charts, ect.), and didn't touch his ODD, since it wasn't problematic at that time.

    Well, fast forward some, and we've had a crazy chaotic year. DCS has been called by an unstable family member who apparently had stopped taking her medications and began to hyperfocus on our family, we had to move out of our new home, it's been a nightmare year. And, probably due to a combination of stress and possibly pre-puberty (?), my difficult child has been acting out again, severely. This week, he's been caught looking at porn (he's 10), stealing our debit and credit cards to download apps to his tablet (which he no longer has), stealing our tablets (we need them for work), and the latest greatest: running away and being brought back by the police. If his mouth is moving, he's probably lying, and nothing is EVER his fault. Ever. According to him, I've crossed the line, and he's out of here. AT least he was an hour ago. He's calmed now, but I don't trust him. We got him to a psychiatrist, who gave him risperdal (sp?) and sent us on our way, no referrals for therapy or anything. We finally did find a therapist that supposedly (hopefully) has experience with ODD, and we have an appointment in 2 days.

    I'm at the end of my rope. Right now, he's not allowed out of my line of vision, after threatening to run away and having a huge blow up agan this morning. It's exhausting. He's not wanting to go to therapy, because he says they're just going to give him drugs. I really, really hope not. We need some serious behavioral help, in our parenting, in his behavior, honestly, I'm willing to try anything.

    I'm really grateful to find other families like ours. This is my little man, and I love him more than I can say. In some respects, he's an absolute angel. He can be sweet, and caring, he draws pictures and cards and makes his brothers and sisters birthday and Christmas gifts. He goes out of his way to be a wonderful big brother. And then... a switch flips, and he becomes this absolute monster that holds us all captive. There's no in between. The roller coaster has me exhausted.
  2. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    Hello and welcome!

    Most of us here on the Board do not like "ODD" as a diagnosis because it usually indicates an underlying issue...and is not the issue itself. IOW - the child is being oppositional and defiant BECAUSE something else is going on.

    Who did the diagnosing? Has your son ever had a complete neuropsychologist evaluation?
  3. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Who gave the diagnosis of Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified?
    That's a big red flag... it stands for pervasive developmental disorder not otherwise specified... e.g. may not meet exact requirements for Aspie or Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD), but is definitely in that range...

    ODD... describes behavior. Validates that the behavior is a problem... and offers nothing else. For us, it worked as a placeholder diagnosis, something that said "the professionals recognize that this child has a problem" (a.k.a. the opposite of "it's a parenting problem").
    In reality, ODD has a reason... and you need to find that reason.

    Auditory Processing Disorders (APD) and sensory processing disorder (SPD) and ADHD and a raft of other stuff often go with Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)/Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) kids.
    Has he ever had a really comprehensive evaluation?
    What was he like as a baby and toddler?
  4. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Has he had a neuropsychologist evaluation?

    Was his early life very chaotic? Was he maybe adopted? The more background you give us, the more we can help. Auditory Processing Disorders (APD) and sensory processing disorder (SPD) won't get you services in school or the community. I'd go with the Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified diagnosis. to get help, unless you suspect he may have something else that has not been uncovered yet.

    ODD is kind of a wasted diagnosis that doesn't mean much and is rather unhelpful. It means the child is defiant. It doesn't tell you why.
  5. alphabetsoup

    alphabetsoup New Member

    His pediatrician diagnosis'ed ADHD/ODD. He had a psychiatric evaluation with his psychotherapist when he was 7, shortly after the ADHD/ODD diagnosis, and she added EDD/Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified. She said his intelligence came out normal, which she was surprised at, because she expected it to be higher based off of her conversations with him. I'm going to ask on Thursday for a new complete evaluation. Honestly, this was an insanely tiny, rural town, and our choices were limited, and I was less than impressed with her, anyway.

    As a baby, he was difficult. His birth was difficult (he was a 36 weeker, and the medical staff at the hospital decided I wasn't going fast enough, so they did a pit-to-distress), his infancy was difficult, he just did things with a million times more intensity. He was colicky, he wanted to be held all of the time, but holding him seemed to set him off, too. He was whiney as a small child... he's just been our difficult one. He has extremes. When he's good, he's REALLY REALLY good. Like insanely good--compassionate, caring, funny, the perfect kid! But when he's not, oh my goodness. It's like the gates of hell opened and released a demon into our house. For a while, I was honestly convinced this child was possessed.
  6. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    You may have to go out of your area to get a comprehensive evaluation... like, a children's hospital with an evaluation team, or a neuropsychologist in a major center. Pediatricians, psychologist and psychiatrists rarely have the skills for a comprehensive evaluation.

    While you're at it... look at getting a separate Occupational Therapist (OT) evaluation for sensory and motor skills issues. Occupational Therapist (OT) has therapies and interventions and accommodations to help - AND the resulting report will be of use to other evaluators.