I am so appreciative of the wisdom and acceptance shown by the group members here. It gives me comfort and hope. My 36 year old, probably borderlilne, daughter has had another child with an abuser. She got up the courage to leave, but now faces homelessness with a newborn, a five year old, no job, and no car. She is begging for me to help her with a car, with rent, take her in.... Her stepdad and I have been taking her in and helping her for 15 years now. She was using and has been sober for three years, and was doing well until she hooked up again. I feel so resentful and do the wrong thing by bringing up the past, but we have spent thousands on housing, rent, lawyers, cars, and after every debacle, she says she's learned her lesson. My husband says he will leave if I take her in again, now with two children. I am losing my mind because he is not wrong to be tired or it all. The other side is that she is sober, and she stood up against being abused. The shelters are full, relatives are tired of the drama, and as an abused woman, she has isolated herself into a corner. She has thought for so long that I am a horrible person because her dad was even more of an enabler, which worked for her. I am trying to stick to my boundaries about not having her here, but my anxiety is through the roof. She may lose the children if she is homeless, especially because the first inlaws desperately want the older child. She is loving in her care of her children, but not responsible in providing stability. Why is this so hard? I know I am codependent, and as soon as I stand firm on one side, I start doubting that I am doing the right thing. Logic doesn't work, but neither do feelings. Help!