Somebody hurt my daughter!!!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by bran155, Mar 16, 2009.

  1. bran155

    bran155 Guest

    Ok, please calm me down. I am freaking out. I hope I can explain this accurately. Saturday night I went out with my sister and a couple of friends. About 10:30 my sister noticed she had a missed call from an 800 number. She assumed it was a bill collector, she did think it odd for them to call that time of night on a Saturday. But we went on with our night. The next morning she noticed she had a voice mail. Here's where I panic!!!

    The call was from an IT Relay company. A company that the hearing impaired use. This call was from an automated service. The voice mail is as follows:

    - Hello, this is Shelly
    - I am looking for M**** C***** (my sister's FULL name)
    - I am calling in regards to your niece Brandie (notice she used my daughter's real name, not her alias)
    -Please call me at this number ********(the number is not in service, we tried to call)

    After we received this message of course we got very scared. We noticed that who ever this person is knows my sister's full name, cell phone number and used my daughter's real name. So my sister called my daughter (as you all know she knows my daughter's cell number) She spoke to my daughter as did I, she said that she doesn't know anyone named Shelly or anyone who is deaf. We prodded her for a while but she swore she knew nothing about this phone call. Ok, so we go on about our day a bit perplexed but not to scared as my daughter sounded fine. But my sister did call the Relay company and tried to get some information. It turns out that you do not have to prove to be deaf to utilize this service, you can download it on to your home phone, cell phone or computer. They could not give us any information.

    A few hours later we get phone call #2, as follows: (this time it was not an automated service it was a live operator translating)

    -Hello, this is Shelly
    My sister: Hello
    -Please know Brandie is not well
    My sister: How do you know Brandie?
    - I met her in a bar last week
    My sister: What do you mean she is not well?
    -Please call her at *******
    My sister: Whose number is *******
    - A friend, she was hurt last night and was asking for her Auntie
    My sister: How was she hurt?
    - She is in Jacobe Hospital, it is imperative
    My sister: Whose number is ***** and how was she hurt?
    - I have to go, please go see her

    End of call. Okay, so we noticed that she referred to my sister as Auntie. My daughter calls my sister Auntie. She used words in both phone calls that require some education or knowledge. Like, "in regards to" and "imperative". I don't know what to make of this. I believe who ever this is had good intentions and really wanted to help my daughter.

    So, we called the hospital and gave my daughter's name and her aliases but there is no record of her being there. We called the phone number of the "friend" and it was a man, well spoken, he didn't know anything. We are thinking he might know something, he might be a danger to my daughter, he might be her pimp, drug dealer, who knows, there are many possiblities!!!! We researched the phone number and actually paid for a service to get information on the computer. It is a Sprint cell number, the bill goes to a Manhattan address. We of course wrote everything down.

    After the second phone call my sister called Brandie again. She swore nothing happened to her and that she was fine. My sister begged her to meet her and promised she would come alone. Brandie refused. My sister kept her on the phone as long as she could, questioning her and trying to read the sound of her voice and hear what ever she could in the backround. Brandie swore she was safe and no one hurt her. I don't believe that for a second!!!! She told my sister that she was in Queens. We also researched the phone number that "Shelly" gave on the voice mail during the first call. The number she wanted my sister to call her back on. It is disconnected but at one point was a Queens number!!!!

    I called my SW and spoke to her for a while. She calmed me down but told me to call the police. I did. They said there really isn't much they can do. The detective on her case won't be in until Tuesday!!!! I asked him if they could investigate the information I have and subpeona(SP?) records from this Relay company. He said that was a possibility but he doubts they would go that far because she is 18 and the crime she is charged with is only a property crime. I cried and begged for a while all to no avail. He wouldn't even send an officer to my house. So I then called the detective and left him a voice mail in the hopes he checks his messages today and calls me back. If not, I have to wait until tomorrow to speak with him. We wrote everything down.

    I am freaking out. I am a nervous wreck!!! I am shaking, pacing the floors, my knees are weak, I feel as though I am going to vomit any minute, I am scared to death. Something happened to my baby and at that very moment she wanted her Auntie and then the next day she probably felt better and changed her mind about reaching out. But I believe there just has to be some truth to this as this girl knew too much. My daughter does not give her real name to ANYONE and how on earth would this person know my sister's full name and cell number and also know that Brandie calls her Auntie????!!!!! I don't even think she is really deaf. I don't think Brandie was aware that she would be calling. I think this person has a moral compass and felt that my poor girl needed help. She utilized the service so she didn't actually have to speak to us and it would be easier to just give the information that she was willing to give and then hang up. I am assuming someone dangerous hurt my daughter and this person is afraid to get involved but felt that human nudge to do something!!!!

    Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God!!!! Please let her be okay!!!! I am so scared. And I am so mad at myself for not being here when that first call came in. She needed us and we weren't there!!!! I did not sleep neither did my sister, we just went nuts trying piece all of this together and come up with something, anything that would ease our minds. We just don't know what to think!!! My poor baby!!! I just want her to get caught already, at least if she is in Jail I know she is relatively safe!!! I am just beside myself with worry. My son is home sick today from school and I just can't focus on anything but my daughter. I can't sit still and I can't stop crying. I just can't take anymore. I can't do this. This just hurts too much!!!

    What do I do now?? How do I live, not knowing what is happening to my baby out there in the mean streets of the city??????? This is pure torture!!! And I am so angry at her for doing this. Doesn't she care what she is putting her family through?? I haven't even told my mother, she can't handle this. Her husband is in the hospital with lung disease and not doing well. This will kill my mother. She'll be next to end up in the hospital.

    My sister just called. She called my daughter. Brandie is sleeping. My sister asked her if she was okay. Brandie said "yes Auntie, I am sleeping, I'll call you back later". My sister said "promise me that if you need me you'll call me". Brandie said "yes Auntie, I promise". Okay, so I feel a tiny bit better, knowing she is alive at this moment. But something happened to her. She is not safe. She is in some sort of danger. What if she is with people that are controlling her and she is afraid to tell my sister anything. Oh my God, she is going to end up DEAD!!!!! How do you prepare for that??

    Help!!!!! :sad-very:
  2. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    Just to let you know, I recieved a number of phone calls years ago using an IT Relay Service to say absolutely horrible things about my daughter. It could be someone playing a horrible joke on you. Hopefully daughter is really okay, but has some sick, twisted friends.
  3. bran155

    bran155 Guest

    EW, thanks for your response. We did think that was a possibility but this person did not say anything that sounded as though she was playing games. And how on earth did she know my sister's name, my daughter must have told this person her name and phone number. It was as though this person wanted to say more but was afraid to really get involved!!! I am so scared.
  4. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Bran, Please stop and take some slow deep breaths. Just concentrate on taking slow deep breaths and letting them come out taking all that frantic energy with them.

    I am sorry this person is alarming you so terribly. it seems like either your daughter was reaching out and changed her mind or else it is a very mean "prank". I do know that in our town we have had a few fraternities that "pranked" other people's parents using this service.

    PLEASE don't beat yourself up for not being there when the call came in. You simply CANNOT stop living because your teenage daughter ran away. It is just not healthy for you or anyone in your family.

    Today you cannot do much more. Take conscious hold of your mind and decide what you can handle in your families' best interest right now. Then focus on whatever that it (your son may need some special attention because he will KNOW that something is wrong. PLEASE make sure you spend some time just focusing on him. It isn't healthy to only focus on B. Son will be very afraid knowing something is wrong but not what. Kids always imagine the very worst.)

    whatever is going on, you simply cannot do ANYTHING until B is willing to talk to you. If she is sleeping you are going to have to wait. i am not sure any laws were broken, but contacting the police is one option. they may have more info on this service and/or be able to track the number more effectively.

    Right this minute it sounds as though you are freaking out and B is having a nice rest. Doesn't seem like the proper state of things, though many a difficult child would like it. When your sis can contact B you might suggest she offer a "code" word that B could use ONLY if she were in danger and needed rescuing. Something B would NOT share iwth anyone else, IF you can TRUST her not to use this word frivolously - it should mean she wants to come out of the life and get real help. Or whatever meaning you put behind it, just something that sounds fairly "normal" but she wouldn't really use. maybe "the nachos with the guacamole" or something. It is just a thought. But it is something to be used very cautiously, so I am not sure whether it is a tool she can handle at this time.

    Anyway, we are here with you and sis. Your sis is a great Auntie, and you are a great mom. You learned a whole lot about the service and the number. There is not much you can do from here with-o some help from B.

    Gentle, gentle hugs for all of you.
  5. bran155

    bran155 Guest

    Susie, thank you so much for your thoughtful reply. You did make me feel better. And the code word is a good idea. I called my sister and told her when she calls Brandie to have her pick a word to use. Thanks!

    My poor sister, she is now so worried about me. She took the day off from work, she went to the laundry mat and calls me every few minutes to make sure I am ok. I would just die without her. She is amazing. She has been by my side through everything. She is a great support to me and my daughter. She and Brandie have a very deep bond. I love that. She is the strong one of the family. She is the glue that holds us all together. I am a total mess most of the time and she is my rock!!!!

    Thanks again. I keep reading your response over and over and it calms me down. Thank you Susie, thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!
  6. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Bran, I'm so sorry to hear that you are going thru this. I'm not so sure your daughter is hurt, but something wierd is going on and I'm sure you are in turmoil over it. Any chance your sis can convince your daughter to go to her house and prove she is ok?
  7. jbrain

    jbrain Member

    Hi Bran,
    glad Susie was able to help you. I agree with everything she said. I think Brandie is okay too--your sister has talked to her several times and she said she was okay. I do not think she is seriously injured or harmed--I agree, she is having a nice rest while you are frantic.

    Take care, remember we are here for you!

  8. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    Bran, My difficult child got a horrid call on new year's telling him that his best friend had been in a fight and stabbed. We went on a frantic telephone search to get to his family who were out celebrating. After an hour we were able to get in touch with the boy only to find out that he was perfectly ok and that it was a hoax. The jerk that made the call had already spoiled our lovely evening by that point though. That incident was only one of several calls of this nature my son recieved during a period of time while he attended an alternative high school for troubled kids.

    There are very sick people out there that prey on others. They get their jollies terrifying people using what seems to be credible personal information of their victim or victim's loved one while they keep their own identity hidden.

    Your daughter has told you she is fine yet she refuses to meet with you and let you see her in person and ease your mind. Forgive me for this next but is it possible that she coud have orchastrated this herself ? Just to see if you still care? I do not mean to hurt you, just to show you that there are many other possibilities behind these terrible phone calls. -RM
  9. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not


    I just wanted to let you know that there is a common scam that goes a lot like the scenario you are describing:

    You will receive a call from an anonymous message service relaying that a loved one away from your home is hurt, in an accident, sick, missing...etc. They will have no information...other than your loved one needs help.

    You may receive several more calls along the same line...asking whether you "got help" to the person. No more information....just a warning that you'd better send help. will receive a telephone call supposedly from your relative....and they will be speaking in a very low and rushed whisper. They will tell you that they need you to send money....a LOT of money...right away....they will give you Western Union information....then they will say "OMG--I've got to go!" and then hang up.

    You, of course, will have been induced into an incredible panic and will willingly wire thousands of dollars without question to help your relative. Meanwhile, your relative is perfectly fine...and knows nothing about the reports you've been hearing. That whispered phone call? Scam artist....but since you were so worried, you didn't question too closely to verify the caller....and since assumed they were sick or you didn't question the whispering.


    It sounds like you may be the target of a scam...

  10. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Bran - I am glad i could help. I hate to hear you so upset, esp when it seems B is having a nice rest at the same time. This truly could be something B set up so that she could see if you would still jump through her hoops.

    You have a wonderful sister, treasure her! Take some time away from the chores today to read a book or watch a video and snuggle iwth you sick little guy. or play a game of his choosing. Something to help soothe your nerves and make both of you feel better.

    Gentle hugs.
  11. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member


    Please listen to DaisyFace. There are so many scams out there and they say horrid things to make you think you have to send money to help a loved one who has been hurt. I have already told my girls not to ever believe anyone who calls and says something happened to someone in their family. They know who to call to verify if the information is correct. I understand that with yiour daughter on the run it is more difficult to verify the information, but in my heart I believe this is an awful scam.

  12. WSM

    WSM New Member

    I'm so sorry, I can just imagine how frantic you must feel.

    But it seems as though Brandie is all right right now, whatever might have happened last night--and it might have been nothing more than falling tripping on a curb and twisting her ankle or cutting her thumb making a sandwich. She's all right now.

    A couple random thoughts: Because of HIPAA hospitals will not give out info about who is in the hospital. Just a month or two ago my husband's ex called from H*** Mental Health Center (or so it said on the caller ID) after being committed and left a filthy message on our answering machine. My husband called back and asked to speak to the psychiatric floor manager abt her. Again they said she'd never checked in. My husband explained what happened and said he wanted no more phone calls from her. They got the floor manager, who listened to the message, sighed and said, "She's been such a management problem." She had been there.

    So perhaps Brandie had gone to the hospital.

    Another thought: perhaps it is Brandie herself who called her aunt, which is how she knew her name and such; she used an intermediary, so her voice wouldn't be recognized. Is Brandie prone to drama? Perhaps she wanted reassurance? I'm not saying she did, only that it's one possibility out of dozens.

    An last thought: What kind of a person calls up and says, "Your daughter's been hurt enough to be hospitalized, but I don't have time to tell you anything more, gotta go now?" This person didn't even have time to say, she was beat up, she fell down the stairs, she was raped, she almost OD'd; whatever?

    "- A friend, she was hurt last night and was asking for her Auntie
    My sister: How was she hurt?
    - She is in Jacobe Hospital, it is imperative
    My sister: Whose number is ***** and how was she hurt?
    - I have to go, please go see her"

    This person who took the time to make the call, didn't have the time to say, "Her boyfriend beat her up and she's in Jacobe Hospital, it is imperative..." Five more syllables, how hard is that?

    This sounds like a mind game. If they cared enough to call twice, why not care enough to explain? And if there wasn't time to say much the first time, why didn't they make sure they had enough time to explain a bit the second time they called? The crisis was apparently over, so why didn't the caller choose a time to call in which she/he could answer a couple basic questions. And why send you to a hospital Brandie was never in, or is no longer at? And why the discrepency in locations? Would someone want to send you on a wild goose chase?

    I'm so sorry you have to deal with this; it must be maddening and horrible. But it's wonderful your sister was able to contact Brandie to reassure yourselves that she was all right now. I hope you get the answers soon, so you rest easier in your mind. Let us know as soon as you find anything out. I'm sure I'm not the only one thinking of you.
  13. Star*

    Star* call 911

    Bran -

    I am sorry that you were upset. I'm more inclined to be skeptical and think that someone has been around and listened to your daughter talk on the phone or heard her hang up stating "That was my Auntie" and decided to pull some hoax on you.

    Think about it like this - If it HAD been someone who gave an incling about your daughter - they would have said - "I'm so & so - your daughter is hurt, here's how it happened, and here's where you can reach her." not all the hush hush secret garbage.

    They had a special on TV a while back like Daisy face is talking about that said the same thing - they call, get you out of the house - and then come and rob you. Maybe Brandy told them you have XX or XX in your house and she has a spare key or knows how to get in and has mentioned it not thinking to the other kids she's around. Not that she would - but manipulative people ARE opportunistic.

    I think I'd call that relay number back from a pay phone and just keep doing that for about a week - see how many different people answer.

    Someone is not playing nice with you.........
  14. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I'm so glad that Susie and others were able to help calm you down a bit.
    It does sound like your daughter is okay, especially since she DID answer her cell ph, and if she were seriously injured, she would not have it with her and would not be able to speak.
    I am hoping that this is a hoax, as others have said. You will be enraged, livid and beside yourself -- with-anger. I'm sure that's better than fear, considering what you are going through now.
    Excellent idea about the code word.
    I would never wish this on anyone.
  15. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I was just thinking what Star was - that this could have been a ploy to get you out of the house (and Auntie out of her house too!) so that they could rob them.

    What if you had been home and rushed to the hospital? it would have disturbed your sick 7yo, left your home(s) vulnerable, and you would have also been vulnerable while walking into the hospital at night. Often there is only 1 entrance open at night, so it wouldn't be hard to find you in a hospital parking lot late at night. Hospitals here now have guys in golf carts to drive you to your car (in the larger city, not our smaller town) after dark. They are ARMED with GUNS. NOT TASERS. GUNS. Apparently there were several assaults by different groups at a couple of hospitals so they hired off duty cops and retired cops for this.

    So if another call comes in at night be VERY cautious before you leave your home. Make SURE you know she is in the hospital and that it is not a scam. Be safe.

    More hugs!
  16. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    Daisy's scam description sounds most likely. I thank her for sharing that piece of information. It is one of the few scams I had not heard about. What horrid people exist in this world to do things such as that. -RM
  17. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    You give me chills, Susie.
    Good point, though. Get a house sitter if you have to leave.
  18. bran155

    bran155 Guest

    Thank you all so very much for your concern and support. I truly treasure this cyber family! You know how to bring me back down to reality. It's crazy how powerful the mind is, I could truly drive myself crazy. I try not to read too much into things but it is just so hard not to given the fact that I know my daughter and she is living on the edge. She is capable of anything and very easily manipulated, however not easily intimidated which makes me wonder if she would even put herself in a position to be controlled by someone else. My SW thinks that maybe she joined a gang and got either jumped in or sexed in. I don't know what to think at this point. My SW also mentioned that Brandie might have something to do with this. As some of you said, maybe she wanted to see if we still would go the distance for her in which case I will be FURIOUS with her. If I find that out I might even tell her not to contact me anymore as I cannot play these games with her any longer. I don't know though. I guess if something is really wrong we will eventually find out. The detective has not called me as of yet. I probably won't be able to talk to him until tomorrow.

    When my sister called the IT Relay company to try to get information the operator told her that they have been receiving complaints about people abusing this service for their own entertainment. I just don't know what to think. In any event this is absolute hell on earth!!! It's like being tortured. Just when things are going great for me personally, I get this. It's like I can't really be happy because I am always waiting for something bad to happen, as it always does. This is a horrible way to live.

    My son did get my mind off of this for a while. He wanted to look up animals on the computer and read about them. We did that for about an hour. He made me laugh. He is just so sweet. He loves animals and is very inquisitive!!! He comes out with these facts about different animals, I'm thinking, "how on earth does he knows this stuff??" I asked him where he learned this from, his reply was "I don't know mom, it just pops into my brain". I love his personality!!! He was definitley given to me for a reason. He truly keeps me going. Like my signature says, he IS the sunshine in my storm!!! :)

    Again, thank you so much. Just knowing that I have your continued support makes this a bit easier to live with! I will keep you all posted.
  19. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Lots of good advice...I'll just add hugs and support.
  20. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I forgot to send you hugs Shawna.