My kids are 20, 10, 9, and 5. My 9 year old has high functioning autism, my husband is bipolar. I’m losing my mind. My 10 year old son is not typical. He lies, and he lies about things that don’t carry any weight but also things that do. He doesn’t care about things related to school. If he fails he doesn’t care. He doesn’t respect the property of anyone. He has broken his siblings things, written on walls and his bed with a Sharpie, used a knife to cut holes in our sofa. He talks back if he’s told something he doesn’t want to do, like running in the house. He will say “You can’t tell me what to do”. This morning I was running behind so I had to drive them to school. When he found out he threw himself onto the sofa and started screaming and crying because he wanted to take the bus, yet ten minutes later told me it was because he doesn’t want to go to school. Then he threw a fit because he didn’t want to brush his teeth. He pees in his room on the carpet. For a long time I thought it was the dog, because who wants to believe their child would purposely pee on the floor? When he began peeing right up next to the leg of the dresser I knew it was him. He denied it. One night my husband came home from work and walked in on him peeing between the sofa cushions, caught in the act. He’s peed on clothes in the hampers. His room smells so bad that my 9 year old, who used to share a room with him, has slept in the playroom on the sofa in there. He also wipes feces on the cabinet in the bathroom. He used to wipe it on the shower curtain, to the point that now there is only a liner in there. I used to clean it up, but now I make him do it. He still wears pull-ups at night because he pees in his sleep. He is mean to his brother, the autistic one. He will walk by him and just hit him. He has attacked him, thrown himself on him and choked him. He’s hit me, hit his little sister. He used to go after my 20 year old, he learned though that she’s bigger than him and fights back. I dread every single day. My husband works five days a week, typically out the door before the kids wake up and home after they’re in bed. I know this isn’t great parenting, but to stop any fights or violence I let the 10 year old play on electronics. He will come outside quite often to play or ride his skateboard, but if he’s on electronics I let him usually. If I don’t he will attack me or his brother or start throwing things. He’s not been sexually abused to my knowledge. He’s never slept over at anyone’s home with the exception of occasional nights at my in laws, and all of the kids stay the night at those times. I’m always here, I don’t work and haven’t his entire life. He was given both Ritalin and Concerta before, but he’s a naturally thin person and wasn’t gaining any weight at all after six months. He now takes nothing. Any insight at all would be appreciated. Thank you.